


Empty Souls

by dreamobscene



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Angst, Angst party, Gen, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Self Harm, Self Loathing, alternative universe, mentions of suicide and self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamobscene/pseuds/dreamobscene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after Loki's passing, Thor ascends to the throne, yet struggles as his dreams are plagued by images of his adoptive brother's death. A seed of doubt in his mind makes him wonder if Loki is truly dead, and the truth behind Loki's motivations are revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

 

 

**Empty Souls – Chapter One**

 

  
_Empty souls will leave their homes_   
_To find a place where they're alone_   
_Rattling memories and hollow bones_   
_Leaves a taste so bitter and cold_   


Manic Street Preachers, _Empty Souls_  


 

* * *

 

There’s a vulnerability in his eyes that rips his heart open and sears his soul. Such pain radiating from those clear sea green eyes. As soon as those eyes set upon his own blue orbs he knows that he’s already lost. A scream tears from his throat as he watches the broken pale figure fall into the abyss.

 

* * *

 

Thor wakes with a start. Shaking. He can feel a wetness on his cheeks. It has been just over two Asgardian years since Loki fell, just over two years since his world fell apart, just over two years since he ascended to the throne.

 He hastily wipes his tears and swings his legs out of bed and onto the cold marble floor. He cradles his head in his hands. It has been over two years since Loki fell, and still he was plagued with the same dreams when it came to the anniversary of his death. The guilt. The pain. He had already sought counsel with his mother over his disturbing dreams, and he dared not speak with his father. Often after these dreams he found himself wandering into his brother’s quarters, which (at his request) remained untouched since his death.

After Loki fell, his parentage was made public knowledge. Thor screamed with rage and locked himself away, with only his own remorse and grief for company. He cursed his parents for keeping Loki’s heritage secret. Everything made sense, everything made horrible and painful sense.

 Thor raised his head from his hands and gazed into the Asgardian night. He wondered what fate had come to Loki, whether he was truly dead. Odin and Frigga both believed Loki to have passed, and when Thor confronted Heimdall, he was left with the same answer. Yet there was no evidence, no body and no grave to grieve over.

 Loki had always been a dark soul, and deep down Thor could sense his brother’s isolation. _Brother._ Thor chided himself for still using the term. He remembered the sneer he was greeted with when he addressed Loki’s self-destructive wrath.  He realised the purpose in Loki’s scheme to lead Thor into Jotunheim and risk war. How he wanted to reveal Thor’s brashness, immaturity, and how ill-prepared he was to take the throne. How right Loki had been. He always saw through. He saw the truth at the bottom of people’s hearts and minds, yet the always seemed to be clouded with deceit and lies. Little did Thor realise that Loki’s deception was his only weapon to protect himself, to shield his heart from vulnerability, and revealing the truth. The truth that he would never dare let Thor touch upon.

 

* * *

 

Thor feels weary. By the way that Frigga looks at him, she also knows that he has not been sleeping well. Odin does not seem to notice. The words of his advisors and diplomats wash over him, and he wonders if he’ll ever get any better, or gain the patience for politics and diplomacy. It is in the mist of this thought that that thought enters his mind of how much better Loki was with such matters. Thor furrows his brow as the though of the one who has been the source of his sleep depravation enters his mind. Enough. This is enough. He rises from his seat.

 “Gentleman, I am afraid that I must retire. We will resume these talks in the morrow.”

 “But sire, we need to agree upon the trade sanctions with Nidavellir by the morrow. Their representative will arrive upon noon.”

 Thor sighs and rubs his eyes wearily as his youngest advisors Ingvar pipes up.

 “Then you decide what is best for Asgard. You are much better informed on these matters, and you have already proved your knowledge. I trust your judgement.”

 Ingvar looks shocked and slightly perplexed. A smile tugging at the side of his slackened mouth.

 “Are you certain sire?”

 “I am certain. Until tomorrow.”

Thor pushes open the great doors of the diplomatic chambers and strides out to see the sky as it turns from blue, to pink, orange and purple. Spring is in the air and the weather is warmer, yet it fails to comfort the dull ache in his chest. He finds that his feet take him out onto the balcony overlooking the city. A soft breeze caresses his face and plays with his hair.

 “What troubles you my son?”

He gives a small smile. Of course Frigga would find him here and sense his torment. He looks up and sees his mother returning his smile.

“My dreams.”

She walks closer, her richly decorated gown whipping in the breeze and lays a hand on his shoulder.

The smile turns bittersweet.

“He has been in my dreams every night for a week now.”

Thor’s gaze meet’s his mother’s. He can see a wetness already pooling in her eyes as he whispers:

“Loki.”

He feels as though the wind steals the name from his lips.

“We all dream about him.”

Thor gives an exasperated sigh and turns away from Frigga.

“I feel as though… I-I don’t know mother! It still hurts and I feel as though it is my fault. I wish I understood him better.”

 “We all do.”

 He turns to face his mother as she wipes a tear from her eyes.

 His voice softens.

 “Do you really believe him to be dead?”

 “To be honest, I do not know. Sometimes I have my doubts.”

He gathers his mother into his arms and releases a sob he has been trying so hard to contain.

“I want to know why he let go.”

 Frigga squeezes her son's shoulders and smiles up at him, pushing a stand of blonde hair out of his eyes.

 “You grow wiser each day. Perhaps one day you will know.”

 

 

* * *

 

Thor tosses and turns in his sleep. His subconscious is filled with dark hair and a laughter ringing like chiming bells. A laughter he would give anything to hear again. He feels a strange warmth throughout his face. He now doesn’t know if he’s awake or asleep. He feels a soft tingling and a caress that makes him shiver. He wonders if he has left a window open. Then he feels a soft press to his forehead, slightly wet and cool, and a tickling across his cheeks, almost like hair. 

 _‘What dream is this?’_ he wonders.

He then feels a cold jolt in his right hand.

This cannot be a dream.

He cracks open his eyes. A faint golden glow is revealed around him revealing some magic at work. 

No, it must be a dream.

He sees the same midnight hair that filled his dreams, and those clear green haunted eyes.

Thor tries to speak but he cannot, he is paralysed. The apparition reaches out to touch his lips, sending another tingling feeling through his skin. Then they stroke along his right clenched fist, then withdraws.

“Loki no!”

Thor scrambles to his feet and tries to grasp the apparition. With a clatter something hits the floor. His hands comb through the image of Loki trying to hold onto the whips of magic sending stinging jolts through his fingers. Loki’s face distorts into a look of pain, then he is gone.

“No.”

Thor falls to his knees. 

“No, no Loki, no!”

He feels his breathing quicken and his eyes sting. He stares at his hands. He remembers the feel of Loki’s magic, there was no mistaking it. That is unless he is going mad. Valhalla knows, with the state of his mind.

He continues to kneel on the floor until his feels his breathing returns to normal. No, he is awake. He shakily gets to his feet and steps on something small and cold. The starlight shining through the window glints upon something on the floor. He bends down and with tentative hands picks up a delicate silver key.

 

* * *

  


	2. Chapter 2

**Empty Souls – Chapter Two**

  
_For empty souls will stand alone_   
_Shivering like black-eyed dogs_   
_Waiting to be taken home_   
_Where that is they only know_   


Manic Street Preachers, _Empty Souls_  


 

 * * *

 

Thor lay in his bed for hours clutching the key, his mind constantly repeating his encounter. That face, those _eyes_. As the dawn began to break, gently lightening the sky he resolved his mind. He dressed and headed to Loki’s chambers.

 

Thor’s footsteps echoed down the corridor leading to Loki’s chambers. Two guards bowed to him as he passed the threshold, he nodded his head in recognition. It was not unusual for him to visit this part of the Palace’s Royal chambers, but he had a niggling feeling, he wondered what the guards thought of his forays into his dead brother’s chambers. One who was always viewed by a sector of Asgard with such scepticism and trepidation. One who was a murderer and guilty of treason.

 

He pushed open the heavy embellished doors, closing them gently behind him. His heart hammered in his chest. He trembled slightly and his lips burned where the apparition had touched him. Thor drew back the heavy curtains to let the sun’s first rays dimly spread light throughout the chambers. Eeriness floated throughout the air and Thor felt an uneasiness that he had never felt in Loki’s quarters.

 

Thor reached into the folds of his tunic and retrieved the silver key. It was small and intricately crafted. It was beautiful and elegant, but then he would expect nothing less from Loki. He bit his lip and surveyed the room that was Loki’s study. His mind raced. Was this a trick, or was this Loki’s bidding? If it truly was Loki, what did he want to show him. His mind flittered back to his conversation with his mother.

 

_“I wish I understood him better.”_

_“I want to know why he let go.”_

Was what he seen a spirit of the deceased? Was Loki’s spirit aware of his pain, for his longing to understand? Or was Loki alive, his spirit haunting the halls and his dreams, unwilling to show himself. Did Loki seek to torment him?

 

Thor’s head spun at the possibilities and questions.

 

He closed his eyes and shut his mind out to all but the thought: _‘If I were Loki, what would I want to reveal?’_   Determinedly he strode around the room observing its contents. A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips as his eyes skimmed across the books and trinkets Loki was so fond of collecting. Items that were gifts from himself, the magic relics and runes. As he approached the writing desk, with it’s long dried inkwells he felt the key in his hand pulsing and getting warmer. He began franticly searching the desk, sweeping aside dust covered papers. He pulled out the drawers, pulling out all it’s contents, and despite the warming of the key, found nothing with a keyhole, no secret trinket or box. Thor tried moving away from the study and into Loki’s bedchambers, searching through his clothes and under the bed. Finding nothing, he paced back and forth in the study. The key continued to pulsate and grow hot when he approached the writing desk, yet he found nothing. With an exasperated growl he stuck the useless key in his pocket, resisted the urge to slam his fists into the wall and flung himself into the chair at the desk. He slumped in the seat resting his head on his arms in resignation. _‘Perhaps this was a trick.’_ He thought. _The ghosts of the dead are mocking me. I am a fool, a mad fool._

 

A strong shudder in his breeches pocket caused his head to snap up. He stared down at his pocket and it shuddered again. He felt the key moving with such force, it throbbed like a beating heart. Thor carefully retrieved the key and watched it move forcefully in his grip, and felt it get so hot that he thought it would burn his skin. His eyes widened, then he saw it. A glint of silver in the wooden cushioned chair he was seated upon. A keyhole. Thor scrambled off the chair and knelt before it. When he raised the key to the keyhole it all but leaped from his grip and gave a resounding click that echoed throughout the dim room.

 

Thor held his breath as he lifted the cushioned lid to the seat. Inside was a compartment filled with several books and papers. With careful hands he began sorting through the contents; black leather bound volumes that were unlabelled. He opened one and flicked to the first page where it read, _‘Property of Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard, age six’_. He snatched another volume and pried it open at the first page, _‘Loki Odinson, age fourteen’_. Loki had led him to his journals and memoirs from what looked like, up to his death. _Death_. The word echoed through Thor’s mind. He picked up the least worn volume, which he guessed must have been the last diary; his heart fell at the thought. He flicked through it back to front, then opened it to the first page. He felt his stomach twist as he gazed upon the page. Loki’s name was written at the top right hand side as it was in the other volumes in his unmistakable elegant script, but this one it was viciously crossed out. The fibres of the paper were scratched, torn and raised from it’s surface where it read, _‘Loki Odinson’_. Thor’s eyes clouded and a single tear fell onto the page, blotching the ink and making it run.

 

For large, hastily written blocked letters covered the remainder of the page:

 

 

 

 

> _LOKI LAUFEYSON_
> 
> _LOST PRINCE OF JOTUNHEIM_
> 
> _ENEMY OF ASGARD_
> 
> _UNWANTED_
> 
> _TRAITOR_
> 
> _DEVIANT._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer chapter...  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

**Empty Souls – Chapter Three**

 

  
_Exposed to a truth we don't know_  
 _Collapsing like the Twin Towers_  
 _Falling down like April showers_  
 _Colossal endless like a marathon_  
 _God knows what makes the comparison_

_For the empty souls_

Manic Street Preachers, _Empty Souls_

* * *

 

Thor started reading from the earliest volumes, his mind awash with juvenile memory. Even from the earliest age, it was evident that Loki had skill in the weaving of tales. Thor relived their youngest adventures, youthful exuberance and the closeness that he shared with Loki. Yet as he progressed he sensed a foreboding.

 

His brow knitted as he flicked through the pages. He picked up the volume – _age fourteen_ \- and opened it to a random page. Just as his eyes set on the words on the page, they began to vanish, seeping into the parchment. Then slowly, different text began to return into the page. Thor glanced at the key, then back to the changed page. _‘Unmistakably Loki’_ he mused, then read on:

 

> _I begin to feel changes in my body. Supposedly I am becoming a man. How I long to grow out into the figure of a warrior. I am sick of being teased upon my lankiness. I wish I could become stronger like Thor. Mother says I have strength of a different kind. Yet no one but she seems to see any value in my pursuits of magic, and my interest in culture and literature. It seems that the only way you can prove your worth as an Asgardian man is through brute strength._
> 
> _Only valour through battle._

 

* * * 

 

> _I should have been born a girl._
> 
> _Volstagg mocks my apparent ‘delicate’ features. That my skin resembles that of a maiden locked away in a tower. Today he disregarded my training with throwing knives. He said it is a ‘cowards’ weapon’. When Thor was my age he was much more filled out compared with myself. He is only a few years from his majority. He is so near to society seeing him as a man, and Valhalla knows he already looks the part. I don’t know which of our ancestors I took after, but I am obviously the runt of the family._

 

Then more:

 

 

> _Something is wrong with me. I feel as though there is a hole inside me that even my magic won’t fill. I tried to talk to father about how I feel; he scoffed at me. He suggested that I go to the training grounds, that getting out of my books and doing a bout of sparring will clear my mind of what ills me. Instead I rode out to the Bifrost. I do not know how long I lingered there. I wonder how much longer I will have to wait until I will be able to travel to other realms and join Thor on his adventures._

Thor remembered this incident well. He had been absent from the city for over a week on a missive for his father and was unaware of the _strange_ behaviour of his brother. Loki had been absent at the evening meal. His mother looked worried, she had voiced her concern over her youngest son’s odd behaviour. Odin had sighed.

 

“He is merely making a mountain out of a mole-hill. If he does not learn to become resilient he will never be capable of ruling a kingdom.”

 

Thor had sat in silence, not knowing what to say. At the end of the meal Frigga entreated Thor to seek out his brother. Just as he set about finding Loki a guard approached him, insisting that Heimdall needed to speak with him. Hoping this had nothing ill to do with Loki, Thor had ridden out to the Bifrost, only to discover Loki seated on its edge near Heimdall’s observatory, seemingly lost in thought his grey mare obediently standing at his side. A look of melancholy lay across his features. Thor had sat himself next to his brother who was on the threshold of childhood to manhood. He had asked what ailed him. Loki had merely given a small laugh and an unconvincing smile, and with a shake of his head uttered softly:

 

“I am afraid I am merely thinking too much.”

* * *

 

As Thor withdrew from his memory, he closed the book shut and reached for another – _age eighteen._ He felt a knot in his stomach form as he opened to a random page. As he read and yet again remembered the event Loki recounted: 

 

> _I am so angry with Thor. Tonight was the midsummer feast. He was drunk and dragged me over to his raucous friends and basically thrust me into the arms of some maiden. They were all carrying on that it was time I got out of my own head and became more sociable with the ladies of the court. Less with their faces and more with what lies between their legs. She was pretty enough, but her mind lacked any substance that intrigued me. I felt no attraction towards the girl. I was only nervous and embarrassed that I had been unwillingly thrust into the situation. Fandral howled and pestered me when I excused myself from her company, and asserted that my charms had failed to work on her. I wish they would just leave me to my own devices. I do not wish to parade my conquests in front of the entire court._
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> 
> _I ache and I am ashamed. My body has grown into as much of a man as it can. I still remain to be **feeble** Prince Loki forever skulking in the shadows. I have tried to ignore it over the past year, but I cannot betray, nor ignore my feelings of desire any longer. I feel more attracted to men than women. I have been intimate with both, cloaked in another’s guise. I felt nervous with both men and women. I felt used after these encounters and I do not think I have the emotional strength for casual sex. There is a place in Asgardian society for those who are sexually attracted to and find love between members of the same sex, yet I am scared. I am a King’s son. I am partially responsible for the continuation of the throne, to produce heirs. But then – what is the likelihood that I would ever ascend to the throne? No matter what father says, Thor is his first-born and it has always been evident and inevitable that he will be King. What good a reputation would it be upon my family if the public knew that their inadequate son lay with men and women? In such a high position in society would I be condemned or praised? Although there is a tolerance in Asgard, I am wary of those who view it as being something unnatural and vile. _
> 
>  

Thor stood abruptly and paced the room chewing his lip. He always had an inkling of Loki’s sexual persuasions, yet he had never said anything to him, nor divulged any of his sexual exploits with Thor, or their friends. But after how they treated him, why should he? When provoked with rowdy scandalous talk he merely acted with nonchalance, claiming that such conversation was of no interest to him. Did he truly fear his family’s reaction? Was Loki that afraid?

 

He calmed himself and re-seated himself at the desk. He turned to the next page and watched again as the writing seeped into the magical recess of the book, returning in sloppy, loosely written characters, looking as though it came from the hand of a drunkard: 

 

> **_I AM A_ ** _**PERVERTED COWARD**._
> 
> _I have always sought to support Thor in any way possible out of love and the bond of blood, but I find that this has twisted into something horrible. I feel an attraction towards Thor, towards MY OWN BROTHER. I cannot bear to be with him when he is sparring, or in a state on undress. I feel a rush and desire pool in my body. Perhaps I am cursed or possessed. What else could make me want to love my brother and touch him in the way a lover does? When he notices that I am avoiding him, he will bully me into keeping the company of him and his friends, Lady Sif, Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg. This unnatural desire makes me sick. I wish I could be purged of these feelings._
> 
>  

Thor continued to re-read over the passage until his mind crumbled into despair for Loki’s feelings. This was why he and Loki drifted so far apart. Why Loki began to shun him as he reached his majority. Why he continued to isolate himself. Why he never confided in him. _Why he let go._

He hastily reached for the last volume, pausing again at the first page - **_LOKI LAUFEYSON_** _,_ before reading it’s final entries: 

 

> _Father has announced Thor’s coronation. Stupid, blind father. He cannot see that he is not ready. He still has a warmonger’s haste and only relishes in heavy handed, brutal victory. He is paying no heed to our education in diplomacy. He is too caught up in riding out on his own conquests, swinging Mjolnir and making a show of his physical prowess. When I’ve accompanied him, Sif and The Warrior’s Three on their quests (on Thor’s persuasion), I have been the one that has on many occasions saved our skins. I have been the one that has bargained our lives, and used my powers to our advantage and survival. Yet I am never praised._
> 
> _I wish I could tell father that Thor is not ready. He needs time to mature and grow. I know he has what it takes to be a good King, but he is still full of ruthless youthful fervour. If only I could reveal this._
> 
>  

 

* * *

 

 

> _My plan has failed. Thor is truly more reckless than I ever thought him to be. My baiting him into provoking the Jotunns worked too well. Father has exiled Thor to Midgard. I do not know how long he will remain there._
> 
> _When a Jotunn grasped hold of me I did not burn. Am I merely and feebly hoping that it was my magic’s reaction to his touch that turned my skin blue? I must be cursed. A monster. This would explain why I have always felt at odds with my family and Asgardian society._
> 
>  

* * *

 

> _Odinson they call me. LAUFEYSON._
> 
> **_LAUFEYSON._ **
> 
> _BASTARD. RUNT._
> 
> _So my heritage explains my unnatural attraction and desire towards my **brother**. Still I doubt he would not repel me, find me disgusting and perverted. I cannot be tempted. I will not be tempted._
> 
> _I should have been left in the wastes of Jotunheim to die instead of this pitiful existence._
> 
>  

* * *

 

Thor felt like he couldn’t breathe. His head felt heavy and clouded, as if he was drunk. He numbly rose from where he sat, and walked in a daze to Loki’s bedchamber. He wrenched open the wardrobe and blindly pulled out a tunic and clutched it to his face, inhaling the lingering scent.

 

He collapsed on the bed. Emotionally crippled he watched the sun climb to noon in the crystal blue sky.

 

Fate was a cruel mistress.

 

Loki’s only crime was that he loved too much.

It was his love that drove him to insanity.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Empty Souls – Chapter Four**

 

 

_There’s a part of me you’ll never know_

_The only thing I’ll never show_

_Hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly_

_Hopelessly I’ll give you everything_

_But I won’t give you up_

_I won’t let you down_

_And I won’t leave you falling_

_If the moment ever comes_

Muse, _Endlessly_  


 

* * *

 

Thor lost all sense of time as he lay on Loki’s bed, watching the light dance in patterns across the walls.

 

His body felt like a led weight. He felt as immovable as Mjolnir was when it fell to Midgard with him.  

 

The sound of a door softly clicking shut awoke him from his reverie. He lifted his head from where it lay pillowed by the tunic he had pulled out of the wardrobe, and craned his neck to look over his shoulder towards the bedchamber door.

 

His mother stood in the doorway a look of timid apprehension in her eyes.

 

“Thor? The guards told me you were here.”

 

He swallowed thickly and tore his eyes away from her.

 

 “Thor?”

 

He felt his eyes watering and turned away from Frigga to bury his head into the soft moss green fabric. Her quick soft footfalls approached him, the fabric of her dress swaying as she moved. Her voice took on a panicked tone.

 

“Thor, what’s happened?”

 

Frigga stared down at her son as he lay on his side, head buried into his hands that clutched the tunic. His blonde hair was dishevelled and splayed, hiding his face from view. Suddenly she was reminded of consoling the same son, when he was nought but three feet high, learning to first wield a bow and arrow, devastated after accidentally killing a pigeon. His first taste of death.

 

Thor gave a small shake of his head.

 

“Thor please… why are you here? Please, talk to me.”

 

She took a seat on the bed, reached out and placed a hand on her son’s shoulder and gently rubbed in small circular motions in attempt to comfort him. Thor exhaled sending a shudder through his body. Eventually he rose to sit on the bed next to Frigga. His eyes remained downcast as his fingers worried the clothing in his hands.

 

“It’s unfair. It’s all so unfair. He deserved none of this, nothing!”

 

The uneasy timbre in his voice startled Frigga. His eyes simmering with anger and despair flicked up to meet his mother’s.

 

“Loki, he came to me.”

 

Frigga’s eyes drew wide.

 

“Mother I know what you’re going to say. Valhalla knows everyone already thinks I’m going mad. I thought it was a dream, but it was not. He sent an apparition, a duplicate of himself. I know his magic mother, it was him. He cannot be dead, I refuse to believe this to be the work of a ghost.”  
  
“It cannot be-”

 

“He led me to his memoirs. He told me everything. Everything! I said to you the other night that I wished that I knew why he let go, well now I do and it hurts more than any battle wound I have ever known!”

 

Thor stood abruptly and threw the tunic aggressively onto the bed and paced to stand at the windowsill, arms folded tightly to his chest.

 

“Thor, how do you know that this is not a trick surely y-“

 

“It’s not a trick mother! I may lack intuition in areas other than the battlefield, but I think I know the mark of my own brother!”

 

_Brother._ Thor’s voice wavered at that word, his anger subsided and his shoulders dropped. Frigga approached her son and laid her hand on his forearm and peered up into the blue eyes that avoided her gaze, eventually they locked onto hers.

 

“Come” she whispered gently.

 

He shook his head.

 

“Thor please. You need to eat. The court his been near distraught with worry over your absence. The steward has been put temporarily in your place as directed by your father. But for now _please_ … come and dine with your father and I. Clear your head and get out of here.”  
  
Thor looked around the bedchamber with a strained expression, before returning to his mother’s hopeful gaze and giving a small nod. With gentle hands Frigga led Thor out to the study. He faltered.

 

“Wait.” He uttered quietly.

 

He walked to the desk and gathered the volumes. Caressing their leather bounds thoughtfully before returning them to their home in the seat’s compartment. Pulling the key out of his pocket Thor paused and as he turned the key with a click, again feeling it pulsating warmly in his palm, like a beating heart under a lovers touch. A heart Loki would have so willingly given him. He looked to where Frigga stood, having observed his every actions. He motioned for her to come to where he stood.

 

“He gave me this.” He said softly, showing her the silver key.

 

He took his mother’s hand and placed it in her palm, covering her hand with his own. He watched as Frigga gave a sharp inhale and her gaze snapped up to her son.

 

“If you cannot also feel this to be the mark of Loki’s magic then we are both mad.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor remained uncharacteristically silent at the table in the Royal Family’s private dining hall as they ate their evening meal. His appetite waning, he spent most of the meal pushing his food about his plate, but managed to eat half of what he would usually consume.

 

As he emerged from his meandering thoughts, he raised his head and his gaze to his father who looked upon him, worry etched onto his brow.

 

Thor swallowed before speaking.

 

“Am I right in presuming that mother told you of what has passed?”

 

“Yes.” Odin replied hesitantly.

 

Thor gave a bitter smile and looked down at his hands, then looked up again at his father.

 

“Father, why did you take him that day in Jotunheim? Was it not his fate to die?”

 

“Do you wish that I left him there at the mercy of his own scattered, weak people?”

 

“No!” Thor quickly retorted and was met with a stern gaze from the Allfather. His eyes flickered down again.

 

“I don’t know anymore. Maybe it would have been kinder to let him die.”

 

The vast chamber returned to silence for a long while before Odin collected himself.

 

“As soon as I found him, I knew I could not leave him. I felt drawn to the babe. Some magic pulled at me as soon as I saw him in the temple. Once I held him and watched his skin turn from blue to cream I knew that he had a greater purpose in the Nine Realms than to die in the waste of Jotunheim.”

 

“That he could be used as a pawn in your peace-making? A powerful weapon?”

 

Odin slowly raised himself from his seat and wearily took several paces from the table.

 

“Yes, I did. But do not think me to be ignorant to his passing. There has not been a day where I have thought that it was crueller to take him from that wasteland and that I eschewed his fate.”

 

Odin gazed at his son.

 

“We _all_ suffer Thor. If you were I what would have you done? Even from your warmongering days I doubt you would have slain a mere babe, Jotun or not. We are not lucky enough to have the gift of foresight. We all suffer.”

 

Thor remained seated frozen in his place, dumbfounded by the frankness of his father’s words.

 

“Did you have any idea of how he felt being brought up here, as a prince where he was laid with expectations he felt he could never fulfil? Why did you not give him to a couple without a child? You already had one son, why take another?”

 

“For a while I contemplated it, but I felt that this was my duty. If I could turn back the time perhaps I would have done otherwise. I would deny him all the privileges of being a prince, and made him a servant of the court.”

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

“Would have you?” Odin snapped.  

 

“Regardless of your worthiness to the throne it is apparent that you cannot absolve your selfishness!”

 

“Odin-“ Frigga entreated a sob escaping her lips.

 

“No! I’ve had enough of dancing around the issue.”

 

“The _issue_ , is that what he is to you, an _ISSUE_?”

 

A strange look fleetingly flew across his father’s face. Thor’s jaw set and his eyes widened.

 

“You knew.” His voice cracked, words wavering dangerously low.

 

“You knew how he felt all along and never sought to tell me? You never sought to tell him who he was? YOU KNEW! I DESERVED TO KNOW!”

 

“And what would have I said to you? Loki was blissfully ignorant of his heritage. How would you react to knowing your then presumed blood brother wished to lay with you as you would indulge yourself with a whore!?”

 

Thor physically flinched at his father’s words, the inflection in his voice forcing him to stand abruptly from his seat and walk to the opposite corner of the room away from Odin.

 

“Would have you welcomed his attraction of acted upon him with violence? You tell me that Thor, then would I regret revealing the truth?”

 

Thor remained silent, and closed his eyes as he remembered how Loki and he fought on the Bifrost. He paused to collect himself, willing himself to control his anger before turning back to his father.

 

“All this time he was tearing himself apart, feeling isolated and ostracised from Asgard, if he had known he would still be here.”

 

A silence rippled through the room, only disturbed by Frigga’s soft sobs.

 

“We do not know that. For all we may know, if we told him when he was younger he may have flung himself of the Bifrost and we would still be where we are! I always tried to do what was right by him Thor, believe me. When it became apparent that his role in brokering a peace with Jotunheim was redundant we chose keep it from him. We never wanted him to feel different. We feared that if he knew it would tear him apart. Do not fool yourself into believing that we did not love him.”

 

“And of course the bigoted attitudes of Asgard towards Jotunheim aided this cause _so well!_ ” Thor huffed snidely.

 

“STOP!” Frigga shrieked, her voice echoing about the chamber.

 

Both Odin and Thor turned to face her in shock at her outburst, chests heaving.

 

Frigga looked distraught then started in her seat as there was a loud rapping at the chamber door. Although awash with tears she looked steely at her husband and son, making them hold their ground. She hastily wiped her eyes and composed her features before rising and heading towards the great embellished doors. They glided open and two palace guards entered, one bowed and moved forward speaking softly to her. After a moment they both bowed then left closing the doors silently behind them.

 

Frigga turned to her husband who stood rooted to the spot, staring, lost in the evening’s darkness, then to her son who had returned to his seat at the large table, head buried in his hands.

 

Thor looked up at his mother. There was a look of anxiety in her eyes.

 

“Mother?”

 

Thor rose from his seat and strode to Frigga grasping her forearms. Her gaze flicked to her husbands before looking up into the concerned eyes of her son.

 

“Heimdall calls for you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and feedback. I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter.  
> 'Endlessly' by Muse is from their 2003 album Absolution.   
> I'm currently compiling together a playlist of songs that I've been listening to that are inspiring me in writing this fic. Hopefully I'll post it up with the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Empty Souls – Chapter Five**

 

_While you are away, my heart comes undone_  
Slowly unravels, in a ball of yarn.  
The devil collects it with a grin.  
Our love,  
In a ball of yarn.  
  
He'll never return it.  
  
So when you come back  
We'll have to make new love.

Bjork, _Unravel_

 

* * *

 

Thor strode anxiously down the palace halls and out into its grounds. He gazed upon the shimmering dark Asgardian night as he walked along the path from the palace to the stables. He had left his mother and father without a word, his anger reeling from the ‘discussion’. He knew deep down that his father had the best intentions, but Thor still remained to be one who placed his heart over his head. There was a nagging, and guilt in the back of his mind assuring him that his anger at Odin was merely an outlet and a diversion from his anger towards himself. No doubt this is what Heimdall was about to pull him up about.

 

A young stable hand stood to attention in seeing Thor, the guards having sent word of his arrival.

 

“Sire, your horse awaits you.”

 

“My thanks.” Thor murmured in return walking to the stall where his chestnut steed Mötunautr stood waiting. It neighed when he saw his master, causing Thor to give a fleeting smile in return. The stallion nudged him with it’s nose and flared it’s nostrils before Thor swung up onto the saddle and gave the horse a gentle kick of his heels urging it out of it’s stall.

 

It was a beautiful night - a contradiction to the warring emotions that overwhelmed Thor. It was balmy with a cool breeze carrying a scent of blooming gardenia as the spring days eased into the Asgardian summer. He urged his steed into a gallop upon the rebuilt Bifrost; his blonde hair caught in the air and his scarlet cape billowed behind him. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach at the rush of the increased pace coupled with his eagerness to speak with Heimdall. He tried to push down a sickly feeling of anxiousness and apprehension. He drew to a halt as he reached Heimdall’s keep and slid off Mötunautr, giving it a pat on it’s flank, softly bidding it to await him. Thor turned around and looked back at the beauty of Asgard at night. The colourful iridescence of the Bifrost and the soft glow of the city afar. His home. How was it that this was the source of such painful memories?

 

* * *

 

Heimdall’s imposing figure stood in the centre of the spherical structure. His eyes pierced Thor’s as soon as he entered his domain.

 

“Heimdall.” Thor greeted him, with a nod of his head, which Heimdall respectfully returned.

 

“My liege, Thor.”

 

Silence permeated the room. Heimdall looked at Thor searchingly, making the King self-consciously fiddle with the hem of his tunic.

 

“Heimdall, get on with it, why have you called me?” he said, his agitation evident.

 

“You are troubled.”

  
  
Thor’s eyes snapped up to Heimdall’s.

 

“Of course, and I presume you know why?”

 

Heimdall’s dark honey eyes softened, a small flicker of affront in them. Of course he knew. Thor chided himself.

 

“Do you summon me to defend the actions of my father?”

 

“Partially yes.”  


Thor scoffed at him.

 

“Thor, you must realise that your father only did what he thought was best for his sons.”

 

“Did you see how Loki suffered?”

 

Heimdall bowed his head and remained silent.

 

“I suppose you don’t need to answer that either.” Thor huffed.

 

Heimdall appealed to him:

  
“Thor you need to let go of your anger. There is nothing you can do to reconcile the past. You do not know how your life and the lives of others would have unravelled if things were different. Yes, the truth can be painful and hard to accept, but it is the past. All you can do is attempt to do is use this to impact positively on the future.”

 

Thor raised his gaze to Heimdall’s, an odd expression in his eyes. Thor’s eyes narrowed.

 

“The future?”

 

Heimdall said nothing, seemingly hesitant and lost in thought.

 

“Heimdall, do not play games with me!”  


He watched as the gatekeeper faltered, almost struggling with his thoughts.

 

“Peace Thor!” Heimdall exclaimed, raising a large palm, his voice echoing about the chamber.

 

Thor’s patience broke.

 

“Peace! What of peace? What I would do for a moment’s peace in my mind. You saw the apparition that came to me, that he came to me, didn’t you? So did you summon me here to confirm my madness, or reveal another ugly truth?”

 

Thor stalked to the opposite end of the chamber. Outside thunder rumbled through the night sky and white flashed, as did a dangerous glint in Thor’s eyes.

 

“Thor cease this! I know this is a delicate matter. I would not involve myself unless I deemed it to be necessary. I summoned you here on matter of your brother.” The gatekeeper said carefully, his words measured and soft in attempt to reign in the young King’s rage.  
  
 _Brother._ Immediately Thor’s eyes softened, and the storm subsided as he heardthe word that caused so much pain. Thor shivered then looked entreatingly upon at Heimdall.

 

“Speak.”

 

“Thor, Loki lives.”

  
  
Thor floundered, his mind numb. He lost control of his body as he fell to his knees as Heimdall’s words reverberated about the sparse embellished room. _Loki, alive_.

 

“I knew it.” He whispered.

 

“And here I am, believing I am a mad King, urging my mother to join my madness. I knew it, when I felt the magic.” He chided himself slamming his fist into the ground.

 

“How? Where? How long have you known?!” He felt his eyes burning and clouding over. His body began to shake slightly.

 

“Not long.”

 

“I came to you before, once he fell you said you could not see him, you proclaimed him dead!”

 

A tear hotly fell onto his cheek.

 

Heimdall’s face fell as he beheld Thor, no longer the shining wielder of Mjolnir, or King of Asgard, but a crumpled lost and stricken man.

  
“I could not then, I swear to you on my life and my allegiance to Asgard. I saw nothing, not from one far reach of the Yggdrasil to the other. He faded from my sight. I know that Loki had ways of cloaking himself from my vision in his past. When he sent his apparition something broke the façade, there was a crack in his magic which has allowed me to see him.”  


Thor leaned back onto his kneel, and sharply looked up to the gatekeeper as Heimdall continued.

 

“My guess is that he lost his composure when he sent the apparition. Something went wrong in his encounter with you. He failed to maintain the shield which was cloaking him. He led me to see where his magic traced from.”

 

“Where?”

 

“Midgard.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Thor opened the doors to his rooms, it was no surprise that he found his mother sitting on the divan in front of the fireplace, book in hand. As soon as Thor entered the book fell from her fingers and she rose suddenly. Her eyes were wide and pleading.

 

“He’s alive. Loki’s alive.”

 

Frigga gave a gasp, clutching at the material of her dress at her chest.

 

 Thor swallowed and his voice cracked.

 

“He dwells on Midgard.”

  
  
Frigga let her weight fall back upon the divan, as tears began falling from her eyes. Thor rushed to her side and took one of her hands in his. She gripped back and gave a small laugh before embracing Thor, causing his small amount of composure to crumble. Together they sat and their tears fell; intermingling anguish with relief.

 

Eventually Frigga’s tears subsided, and she and Thor sat watching the flames flicker and dance amongst the burning wood. Thor felt vulnerable and young as he sat next to his mother.

 

“What does he do?”

 

“Heimdall says he makes people happy. But does not know whether he himself is happy.”

 

“Is that all he divulged?”

  
  
Thor nodded in return.

 

“I wish Heimdall would not always speak so ambiguously.”

 

“As do I.”

 

Frigga took a deep breath and exhaled heavily.

 

“You know that your father only did what he thought to be right. He never meant any malice in his actions, if they caused hurt, know that he did not mean it, Thor.” Her voice was soft and hoarse from crying.

 

Thor gave a slight nod. Frigga looked up at her son pleadingly.

 

“I know mother. It’s just… hard.”

 

“Life is meant to be hard, my son. But please do not blame your father. There is method in all of this madness that is our lives, in each of our fates.”

 

They returned to watching the fire, silence filling the room again until Thor spoke.

 

“I wonder what he would have been like if none of this had happened. What if he had survived the sacking of Jotunheim and become the prince he was meant to become?”

 

“I’d say that he would make a fine haughty prince, because he is a fine haughty prince.”

 

A smile tugged at her lips.

 

Thor laughed.

 

“Do you think Laufey would have let him live, a runt of a Jotun in a broken realm?”

 

“Laufey may have done many things… and none of these we will never know.”

 

“He killed his own father...” Incredulously, Thor faltered.

 

“Please do not say anymore on this.” Frigga said swiftly, attempting to reign in her emotions.

 

Thor bit his lip and silence returned to the room. Frigga rose from where she sat and walked to fetch a pitcher of wine and two goblets that sat on the side table. Thor raised an eyebrow at her as she poured a generous amount for herself and her son. It was not often that Frigga drank. She caught the look of amusement on her son’s face as she passed a goblet to him.

 

“I had a feeling we might need it.”

 

Thor gave a little laugh, tracing the silver floral patterns engraved into the cup before unceremoniously draining it of its contents. Frigga reciprocated her son’s amused look before reaching for the pitcher and topping up the goblet. She then sat back and proceeded to nurse her own cup, steadily sipping from it. She turned to Thor and intently studied his features as he stared into the cup, lost within his thoughts. She reached out with an elegant hand and placed two fingers under his chin, forcing him to tilt his head towards his mother.

 

“Thor, speak to me.”

 

He hesitantly locked his gaze with his mother. His words came out timidly.

  
  
“I think… I think I want to go to Midgard. I want to see him. I want to try and set things right.”

 

Frigga’s brow furrowed on her sorrowful face, and she gave a small nod of her head.

 

“I cannot tell you what to do Thor. I have always supported you in all that you do, but you are the master of your destiny. All I ask you to do is do what you believe to be just. Trust your heart.”

 

She moved her hand onto his left breast as she spoke and Thor exhaled heavily before placing a hand over hers, squeezing her fingers.

 

“Mother, I cannot fix the past, but I can try to make amends in the future. If I don’t _try_ , I fear my heart will break.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mötunautr - Old Norse word meaning 'companion'
> 
> The lyrics are from 'Unravel', a song from Bjork's stunning 1997 album 'Homogenic.'
> 
> I know I said I would get onto posting a mix tape but life has gotten in the way. So it's still a work in progress.
> 
> Thanks again for the feedback xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Empty Souls** – Chapter Six

 

_If you deny this_

_Then it’s your fault._

_That God’s in Crisis,_

_He’s over._

_Every time I rise I see you falling._

_Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?_

_It falls apart._

 

Placebo, _Passive Aggressive_

 

* * *

 

 

Thor sat on the edge of his bed, arms upon his knees and head resting upon one of his large hands. 

 

He sighed and dropped his hand from his head and smoothed them across his thighs. He was wearing the closest thing that would pass for Midgardian attire: plain dark grey leather breeches, a black cotton shirt with simple clasps covered with a simple mahogany-brown leather jerkin. His left hand absent-mindedly trailed to his chest and grasped the chain that hung around his neck, weighed down by Loki’s silver key. His fingers trailed around its delicate curves and grooves, and he wondered yet again whether he was doing the right thing. He had sought council with his Mother and Father, and they had given him their blessings upon his desire to see Loki, although he could not help but feel apprehensive and tense in his father’s presence. After their previous confrontation both did not speak on the matter of the confessions in Loki’s diaries, and the reality of the kind of person he would be re-united with.

 

At his feet lay Mjolnir. Ever the faithful companion, the hammer would not be joining him on this quest. It would be fruitless to land in Midgard with Mjolnir blazing. No, this was a much more sensitive mission, one which would require _subtlety._  

 

There was a knock at the door, causing Thor to snap out of his reverie.

 

“Enter!” He called.

 

He heard a creak of his chamber doors, and a guard rounded the corner from the main foyer into the leading into the bedroom. The guard bowed deeply.

 

“My Lord and Lady await you Sire.”

 

Thor gave a small nod.

 

“Thank you.” He said, dismissing the guard.

 

With the soft click of the chamber door closing Thor rose to his feet, gave Mjolnir one last look and headed out of his rooms.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Frigga and Odin stood on the great balcony adjoining from the throne room, arm in arm, gazing out to where the Bifrost lay. Odin took one of Frigga’s hands in his own and raised it to his lips, his eye caught hers and returned his wife’s anxious expression. Frigga caught sight of Thor’s approach, and gave Odin a small smile before drawing out of his embrace to turn and face their son.

Thor paused and bowed his head to his parents out of respect before his Mother rushed forward to embrace him. Thor laughed at the sudden action of his Mother before putting his arms around her.

 

“Take care Thor. Be careful. Tell him we love him.”

 

Thor’s eyes threatened to water at Frigga’s words. _Love_. It was easy enough for Frigga to give it away so easily, yet the question of whether Loki would accept it, (he predicted) may prove more complex.

 

“I will Mother.”

 

Eventually Frigga let go of Thor, her eyes shining. He then turned towards his father. Odin stepped forward a few paces. Thor cleared his throat.

 

“All arrangements have been made. The steward will rule in my stead. If I am needed, Sif and The Warriors Three will seek me out.”

 

“Very well.”

 

Thor and Odin gazed at each other, long and hard before the Allfather spoke again:

 

“Be careful. You do not know what you will find in Loki on Midgard.”

 

Thor gave a stiff nod and replied.

 

“I know Father.”

 

Odin then stepped forward to hug his son before he continued to speak.

 

“We love you Thor, Take care. A father never ceases to love his son. We are proud of you.”

 

_Son._

 

As Thor withdrew from his father’s embrace he saw a solitary tear escape his father’s eye.  

 

Thor gave a small, but hopeful smile, then after a final look to his mother, he turned on his heel and headed for the Bifrost.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor felt his heart hammering in his chest as he rode Mötunautr along the Bifrost. He felt desperate to leave Asgard, yet at the same time was petrified at the thought of confronting Loki.

 

When he reached the Heimdall’s keep, the Gatekeeper stood expectantly at the entrance to the portal. Thor dismounted Mötunautr and gave him a pat on his snout.

 

“I’m afraid you can’t come with me my friend.”

  
  
The stallion gave a small whine and huffed.

 

“I will return, go back to the stables.” Thor said softly, taking a hold of the reigns, urging the horse to turn to face back to Asgard, before giving it a light slap on one of its hind legs. With another snort he reared and sped off back along the Bifrost towards the city.

 

Thor followed Heimdall into the observatory, feeling ill at ease at Heimdall’s lack of conversation. He watched as Heimdall placed his staff into place, then turned to look Thor squarely in the eyes, a look of hopeful apprehension in his eyes as he placed his staff into place.

 

“Follow the music.”

 

Just as Thor frowned and opened his mouth to reply, he felt the pull of the Bifrost’s energy and he was plummeted to Midgard.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor landed on the cold hard ground. He observed his surroundings: it was dark, damp and several tall buildings towered over where he stood. He turned to his left and saw the soft yellow glow of street lamps. He wondered where on Midgard he had landed this time. Although it was night, he could sense that it was far different to the lands where had fell before. As he took in his surrounds, Heimdall’s words whirred through his head.

 

_Follow the music._

 

Thor steeled himself to listen to his surrounds. He heard a faint thrumming coming from past the lamps over the street where cars sped pass. He swallowed and began to walk to where the noise came from. He ran across the street, dodging honking cars, adrenaline pumping as the music got louder, and harsh inhuman  crunching and wailing sounds made themselves heard. Eventually he came to where the sound was coming from. A small group of people huddled by a door, speaking to a large man who Thor presumed was a guard of some sort. _Large by Midgardian standards._ Thor thought to himself. A young girl appeared to be fighting with him.

 

“Please! Just let us in!”

  
  
“You know I can’t without a ticket.”

 

“They would be on the encore by now, can’t you just let us slip in to see the end, please?”

 

Thor walked up to the crowd. As the guard caught sight of Thor he faltered, obviously intimidated.

 

“Come on!!” A young man howled.

 

“We’ll only be in there for three songs! Then we’ll be out with the rest of them!”

  
  
Thor came to stand next to the man folded his arms and nodded.

 

The guard glanced from the man to Thor, the man now also looking up at Thor in surprise.

 

“I swear this band has the strangest fans.”

  
  
He sighed and rubbed hi temples before stepping back and unlocking a bolt on the door.

 

“Just get in! I know NOTHING!”

 

With a shriek the group ran into the doorway. One girl giving the guard a sloppy kiss, her lipstick leaving a red imprint on his already red face. With a grin Thor trailed behind them.

 

As soon as he rounded a corner, following the band of youths he was hit with a wall of sound. He found himself in a large darkened hall. At the end of it there was a stage, illuminated with shimmering multicoloured lights. In front of him stood a sea of bodies. Thor’s face fell. Was Loki in here? How on earth was he meant to find him?  He began to wade through the people, pushing them aside as gently as he could. Deafening collective screams filled the chamber. He looked up to the stage. Several people walked onto the stage, picking up and sitting behind instruments. Then after a moment another figure walked upon the stage and louder screams erupted and Thor froze. The man was dressed in figure hugging black, accentuating his lithe body. His black shoulder length hair framing his white face which broke into a smile as he walked to the centre of the stage. He reached for the microphone, leaned his body against the stand and bowed his head. The other musicians began to play a haunting tune before a clear voice rang out to the crowd, a voice that Thor had rarely heard in midst of song.

 

Loki was sinuous and alluring.

 

Thor inhaled sharply, forgetting to breathe. He looked around him in the crowd, observing as many individuals sang along to the song. Thor looked back to where Loki stood on the stage and began to again move forward to him, tears welling in his eyes as he continued to listen to that mournful voice that ensnared all around him.

 

When the Loki’s voice faltered and the music faded to silence, the crowd cheered and Loki glanced over and grinned at a tall man with short honey-brown who stood by his side, bass guitar strapped across his front, returning the smile. Loki turned back to the crowd, lights shining out to the masses, then his smile fell. Thor’s towering figure and blonde hair caught in the spotlight falling upon the crowd, and he found Loki staring back at him and watched as joy and pleasure turned into fear and shock, growing wide eyed and staring back at him. Loki looked panicked and took a step backwards stumbling upon a guitar lead. Thor’s eyes grew pleadingly wide before Loki’s eyes seemed to roll back in his head and he fell to the ground. Several screams of terror rang through the crowd as his dark figure crumpled. The other musicians on stage dropped their instruments and ran to his where he fell before a large man ran from the backstage area, picked him up and carried him off stage out of sight.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What happened?”

  
  
“He passed out.”

 

“Put back on the interlude music to hold the crowd.”

  
  
“Someone the first aid kit.”

 

“Stefan, what’s wrong with Loki?”

  
“Everyone shut up and give him some space people. Go… NOW!!”  Stefan yelled at the people gathered around the collapsed figure.

 

The backstage crew jumped at the tone of the normally placid bass player and scattered as the roadie carrying Loki’s limp figure placed him onto the couch in the dressing room.

 

A dark haired shirtless figure rounded the corner from the stage, strands of long hair plastered to the side of his face, followed by a woman with cropped dark hair, Eva – the band’s long suffering and thankfully patient manager.

 

“Stefan, I couldn’t see. What the fuck happened?” The man demanded.

 

“He collapsed.”

  
  
“What the fuck? Fuck. FUCK! Loki?”

 

“Fuck Mark, stop it! Yelling at him isn’t going to help. Give me that water.” Stefan snapped, his anxiousness seeping through his irritation as he crouched down at Loki’s side. He glanced up at the woman who looked worriedly at Loki and laughed softly to herself before glancing to Stefan.

 

“Well at least you gave them half of the encore. Boys, you’ve got five minutes to decide if you want to go out and address the crowd, otherwise they’re gonna just pull the plug.”

 

She gave Stefan and Mark a curt nod and exited the room, closing the door behind her.

 

The drummer walked over to the dresser and grabbed a bottle of water, handing it to the other man. Stefan tipped water out onto the palm of his hand and dabbed it on Loki’s pallid face. Loki started with a gasp and his eyes flickered opened in panic, and darted to each corner of the room.

 

“Loki?”

 

Loki looked up at Stefan pointedly and swallowed.

 

“He’s here.”

 

Stefan dropped the bottle and Mark swore as he fumbled and dropped his cigarette lighter.

 

“W-what?”

 

“I can’t go out there.”

 

“I think going back on stage is out of the question.”

 

“Thor’s here.”

 

Stefan stared dumbfounded at Loki and Mark froze, lighter now retrieved and paused at his slack hanging mouth, cigarette dangling precariously from his lips. Both stared at Loki, taking in the panic and fear which was spread across his usually schooled features.

 

“Shit. You’re serious. Fuck. How the hell did he get here? How did he find you?”

 

Loki got to his feet ignoring Stefan’s protests o lie down and walked unsteadily to lean on the counter in front of the mirrored dresser, avoiding his reflection.

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

He lifted a shaky hand to the vodka bottle which sat on the counter, unscrewing the lid and taking a swig.

 

“I can’t go out there.”

 

Mark’s jaw dropped.

 

“Loki, after all you’ve been through you at lea-”

 

Loki whipped around, sharply, anger distorting his face, tears shining in his eyes.

 

“I said. I. AM. NOT. GOING OUT THERE!” he growled before snatching the vodka bottle and sweeping out of the room slamming the door behind him. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter up D:  
> Yes, Thor and Loki are going to be reunited properly, there's just going to be a bit of a build up, so bear with me. 
> 
> I hope you like my diva Loki. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Empty Souls – Chapter Seven**

_There's a gap in between_   
_There's a gap where we meet_   
_Where I end and you begin._   
_And I'm sorry for us_   
_The dinosaurs roam the earth,_   
_The sky turns green_   
_Where I end and you begin._   
_I am up in the clouds_   
_I am up in the clouds_   
_And I can't and I can't come down._   
_I can watch and cant take part,_   
_Where I end and where you start._

Radiohead, _Where You End I Begin._

 

 

* * *

 

The crowd trailed out into the night. Thor looked at the people around him. Most were young, but some were older, here to see Loki and his band of musicians. Then he had turned up and wrecked it for them. Thor felt a pang of guilt in his gut, did his presence truly impact so badly upon Loki? Did Loki _fear_ him?

 

Thor remained partially dumbfounded and tried to focus, wondering what to do, how to reach him. The reckless part of himself longed to barge backstage and find Loki, yet he knew this tactic would be fruitless and cause Loki to flee. _Subtlety_. He reminded himself once again.

 

Thor followed the throngs out into the cool night air, watching men and women disappear into the night, some in dampened spirits others rowdy, some intoxicated.

 

Relieved to be out of the warm stuffy confines of the venue, he stood staring into the dark contemplating what had just taken place. He glanced at the entrances to the venue, guarded by men dressed in black suits. He knew he could easily best them. He clenched his fists tightly, and squared his jaw, conflicted as he watched stragglers from the concert loitering by the doors.

 

Suddenly cries erupted from behind him. He spun around and a crowd flocked towards a small group of people, and he saw the unmistakable form of Loki head bowed, trying to avoid the attentions of his admirers. Loki was surrounded with concerned voices:

_“Loki”_

_  
“We love you Loki!”_

_“Get better Loki!”_

  
  
“We love you!”

 

Loki kept his head down as two burly men escorted him the tall blonde, and another dark haired man towards a black sedan waiting at the curb side. Thor watched as Loki raised his head and paused as his gaze fell upon to where he was standing - evidently shaken. Thor attempted to run to where Loki was, yet he found himself immovable. He tried to move his limbs yet he found himself struggling against an invisible force and fell to the hard ground. His eyes shot up and locked with green frantic eyes. He swallowed trying to subdue the pain he felt in his chest as Loki tore his eyes from Thor’s and was bundled into the car before it sped off into the night.

 

Once the car was out of sight, Loki’s spell released him. Thor felt the restraint leave his body and he slumped forward. He gave out a gasp and felt a tight feeling in his chest as though he had been holding his breath for far too long. He braced his weight with one hand on the ground and caught his breath. A moment passed, and he felt a hand grasp tentatively upon his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He turned around to face a young woman with short jagged black hair, painted plum coloured lips clad in black and a studded leather jacket. She was small, and swayed slightly, yet her stance was formidable. Her eyes narrowed as Thor looked up at her.

 

“Are you okay dude?”

Thor nodded briefly at the woman. She dropped her hand from his shoulder and Thor rose up from where he knelt. The girl pulled out a cigarette, lit and sucked on it, blowing out the smoke in a long drag. Thor looked at her, groggy and intrigued as she held out a cigarette to him. Thor shook his head, causing a shot of pain to stab at his forehead.

 

“Big fan?” She drawled.

 

Thor raised his eyebrows.

 

The girl waggled her eyebrows back and gave a small laugh.

 

“It’s okay, I am too. Bit of a shock tonight wasn’t it… we all come to see someone who we look up to, who we think is invincible, someone who re-assures us that we’re not alone, and I guess at the end of the day they’re just like us…”

She took another drag and swayed on the spot, her eyes flicked up to his. Thor rubbed his temples as she continued to talk. 

 

“…they’re just human after all. You strip away it all and they’re just struggling like us. They’ve just got an outlet for what they feel, and we watch them on stage and scream and cry…”

 

The girl waved her hand elaborately in the air, causing her to stumble. Thor quickly caught a hold of her before another man ran over and her words began to slur.

 

“Everyone’s a little damaged… I sure as fuck know that I am…”

 

“Shit, Eddie!” The man called. 

 

A lopsided smile cracked across her face as she saw him. 

 

“Chill. I’m having an existential conversation with this big guy.”

The man snorted and exchanged a look with Thor.

 

“You mean having an existential conversation with yourself.”

 

Thor gave a small laugh, which turned into a grimace as he was hit with a bout of dizziness. He looked down at the girl and saw that her eyes were now beginning to loll a little in her head.

 “Oh fuck, you’re wasted. Thanks for catching her, I’m so sorry man! She’s hopeless once she’s been drinking and had a couple of joints, it always hits her so quickly.” He said hurriedly easing the girl’s weight off Thor and wrapping one of her arms around his shoulder and one around her waist.

 

“It is no problem.”

 

“She worships the band… sometimes I think she loves them more than me. ” 

 

Thor stared at the man, similarly clad in black, a leather jacket slung across his shoulders, a silver ring hooked in his nose. 

 

The girl was mumbling into the man’s jacket.

 

“So do you, Harry you _bastard_.” She accentuated thumping him in the chest with a fist causing him to snort in return. 

 

“Woman, I’m getting you home. Thank again man.” He said gratefully to Thor.

 

Just as he began to haul the girl off. She lifted her head craned her neck and looked at Thor, eyes unfocused with a smirk on her face. 

 

“You should go that way.” She said gesturing a limp arm out to her left down the street, before she blew Thor a kiss and was unceremoniously dragged into a taxi. 

 

Thor watched as the black cab drove off and attempted to compose himself, waiting for another bout of dizziness to subside. He looked around as the last crowds of people sat on the pavement and stumbled and scattered down the street. The girl had taken him aback, _and_ amused him. Thor thought back to Heimdall’s words:

_‘He makes people happy, he brings them joy, but do not know whether he himself is truly happy.’_  

 

Thor turned his head to look in the opposite direction of where the vehicle carrying Loki had sped off. Loki had paralysed him, yet it was he who had lured Thor to Midgard. His shock and fear in seeing Thor whilst on stage burned into his mind making Thor even more determined to find him. He had too many questions, and despite Loki leading him to his diaries, they were not enough. He clenched his right fist in frustration, now wishing he had Mjolnir to fly in pursuit. He now had no other choice but to go by foot.

 

With a heavy heart Thor began to run down the street where the car had sped, dodging the stragglers hoping his instinct would take him in the right direction. He was no more than a hundred meters along the street when he felt a tingling on his chest. He came to a halt and grasped the key which hung around his neck, pulling it from underneath his shirt. ‘ _Of course’_ , he thought. Continuing into a jog, he held the key in his right hand, feeling the magic pass into his hand, spurring him. He ran on until he came to an intersection. Cars sped along, the occasional one beeping at him where he stood, their lights flashing across Thor’s face. There were two roads in front of him. He looked first to the left, then to the right and felt the key shudder. Right it was.

 

Thor continued running through the night, guided by the key. He slowed his pace as the key began to shudder with more violence, and grew warmer, causing his pulse to quicken. He became apprehensive and his mind raced. _Did Loki know he was coming? Would he try to fight him?_

 

As he rounded a corner the key grew hotter, and with each step began to pulsate as it had done when Thor had be drawn to Loki’s diaries. Thor’s eyes darted around the deserted street. Several lamps illuminated the footpath and a few cars were parked by the curb, immobile, like sleeping giants. The buildings were two and three stories high, carved out of stone, reserved, yet ornate in their own way; filigree metal railings surrounding windows and balconies. Thor walked slowly and hesitantly down the footpath, one hand still grasped around the key. The key suddenly shuddered and began beating as fast as the wings of a bird in flight. Thor stopped in his tracks and turned around, casting his gaze in a full circle before they rested upon a building across the road. A couple of trees obscured it from view and its entrance was barred by a metal, ornate gate. With careful steps Thor crossed the road, his heart hammering in time to the movement of the key and felt as though the key was branding into his skin. Just as he put his hand on the gate to open it he heard a smashing of glass. His eyes shot up and rested on a dark figure leaning in the doorway to the building, soft light from within the building casting a soft glow across pale skin. He froze and stared, rendered immobile for a long while before forcing the gate open and walking towards the figure.

 

As Thor moved forward Loki pushed himself from where he leant. He swayed and put out a hand to attempt to steady himself. A broken bottle lay smashed on the ground and Loki looked unfocused and drawn, his hair dishevelled, dark traces under his eyes.

 

“Of all places for you to see me it had to be there. The one place where I thought myself to be safe, where I have nothing to be ashamed of!” Loki bared his teeth, snarling at his last word, his eyes shining.

 

Thor’s eyes narrowed at Loki’s lightly slurred words. He looked in disbelief at him.

 

“Loki.” He croaked out.

 

“I should have never had come to you. Never.” Loki gasped hot tears trailing down his face.

 

Thor shook his head and his eyes stung in hurt.

 

“No… no Loki.”

 

“Have you come to put me in chains, to drag me back to Asgard and cast my shame across the nine realms?”

 

Thor continued to stare, dumbfounded, feeling tears gather in his eyes.

 

A feral look flashed across Loki’s face and he scrambled down to pick up a large shard of glass and stumbled forward to stand in front of the blonde. Grabbing one of Thor’s large hands thrust it over his long fingered hand that was already seeping with blood and pushed harshly against his chest. The shard cut into the fabric of his shirt on his left breast and into his skin, wetting the black fabric causing Loki to hiss.

 

“If you’ve come to kill me get it over with. Valhalla knows I’ve tried and failed!”

 

Thor cried out in shock, and detangled his hand from Loki’s and wretched the glass shard from Loki’s bloodied hand, the force of his actions causing Loki to stumble backwards and fall upon the ground. Thor remained where he stood, chest heaving, waiting for Loki’s retaliation, yet it never came. Instead he watched as Loki shivered violently and heaved on the ground, yet made no effort to rise to his feet. Thor fell to his knees at Loki’s side.

 

“No Loki, no. Never.” Thor whispered brokenly.

 

He gently grasped and turned Loki to face him, pushing his hair out of his face and cupping his cheek, urging him to look into his eyes. Loki’s breaths came out in heavy breaths, which subsided as he met Thor’s vulnerable blue gaze. Loki’s face fell in realisation and he closed his eyes. His body began to convulse as he tried to contain his sobs. Thor drew Loki to his chest and Loki broke, triggering Thor’s own tears to fall.

 

“Never.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback. I appreciate it so much. In writing Loki as he is, I though I'd just mention a couple of musicians have have inspired me in turn to write him as a musician so I guess you can see where I'm coming from, perhaps you won't but each to their own...
> 
> David Bowie  
> http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/kateolivia_f/bowiehunkydory.png  
> Richie Edwards  
> http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/kateolivia_f/richeykevincummins.jpg  
> Brian Molko  
> http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/kateolivia_f/58087139230793081713257.jpg
> 
> Thanks again.
> 
> xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Thor and Loki's reunion.

**Empty Souls – Chapter Eight**

Scarred, your back was turned

Curled like an embryo.

Take another face,

You will be kissed again.

I was cold as I mouthed the words

And crawled across the mirror.

I wait, await the next breath,

Your name like ice into my heart.

 

The Cure, _Cold._

 

 

* * *

 

Loki gave a groan and rolled over and burying his head into a pillow before he awoke with a start. His eyes cracked open slowly, adjusting to the grey light that filtered through the blinds. He put out his hands to push himself up, but gasped in pain and slumped back down onto the mattress as the previous night’s events hit him. The gig. Thor. He turned onto his other side and his gaze fell upon his figure slumped in an arm chair, asleep. Loki felt a pang of guilt in his gut. Had he stayed with him the whole night? He looked down at his bandaged right hand, and raised it to his chest which had also been bandaged. He pushed down curiously on the dressing and gave a quiet hiss of pain. His eyes shot up to where Thor sat. He remained in a deep slumber. Loki took in his form. He looked less the carefree blonde warrior, instead he looked weary and worn, dark circles under his eyes. Loki sat gingerly sat up in his bed and watched the one he once called brother and recalled their reunion. After he broke down the rest of the nights events turned into a blur, with Loki having an almost dreamlike recollection of how Thor picked him up off the ground and cleaned his wounds. How no words passed between them apart from their sobs. Yes, he remembered Thor weeping and the storm that followed his tears, the low thundering and the rain. Loki grasped his head as head as he felt a sharp pain signifying an onslaught of a hangover. ‘Inevitable’, he thought, wincing and contemplating the amount he drank.

 

As quietly as he could he detangled himself from the bed sheets, swung to sit on the side of the bed and unsteadily got to his feet and exited the room, eyes continually flickering to where Thor sat, eager not to wake him.  He released the breath he was holding once he entered the bathroom. He went to the sink and turned on the tap, cupping the cold water in his hands and splashing it onto his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, watching the water drip down the face, removing the last traces of eye make-up from the previous night. He tore his gaze away. He truly looked terrible. He grabbed a towel and pat his face dry, before glancing around the bathroom. He was still wearing the jeans from last night, yet stood shirtless. He blanched at the thought of Thor partially undressing him the previous night and self-consciously looked around the bathroom, finding a grey t-shirt that was hanging off the edge of the bathtub. He picked it up, and once he deemed it clean enough to wear, shrugged it over his head. The last thing he wanted was to rummage through his clothing in the bedroom and wake Thor.

 

Loki exited the bathroom, and swayed in the doorway to his bedroom and gave one final look at Thor before he descended the stairs. He glanced around the foyer to his apartment and groaned as he heard his mobile’s text tone. He looked at his belonging strewed along the floor and crouched down to rummage for his phone. When he retrieved it from the jacket he wore last night he swore as the screen light up filled with numerous texts. Three missed calls from Stefan - one from Mark. Two texts from Stefan, three from Mark and another missed call and a text from ‘NR’ that read _‘We need to talk.’_

 

“Damn.” He muttered.

 

Loki rose, unlocked his phone and quickly tapped at the device replying to his bandmates, ignoring his voicemail. Just as he finished he heard movement upstairs and froze, stomach sinking.

 

“Loki?”

 

Thor’s voice drifted down the stairs.

 

“Loki?!”

 

This time it was louder. The panicked tone made his eyes prick.

 

“I’m here.” He called, voice wavering, slipping the phone into the back pocket of his jeans as he heard quick heavy footfalls down the stairs and turned to face Thor, relief flooding through his face upon seeing Loki.

 

“I thought you were gone.”

 

Loki attempted to reign in his emotions as Thor walked towards him, his own emotions simmering through the shining blue pools of his eyes. Loki made a step backwards only to find his back bump against a doorframe. He swallowed and tilted his head to avoid Thor’s direct gaze as the blonde stepped far into his personal space. Loki gave a sharp inhale as he felt a large hand rest upon his neck and his eyes watered at the familiar sensation, one that would awake such anguish in his heart.

 

“I thought you dead.” Thor murmured unsteadily.

 

He paused, his thumb caressing the pale flesh of Loki’s neck, urging him to meet his gaze.

 

“But deep down, a part of me refused to believe so.”

 

Loki raised his gaze and watched as joy and sorrow mingled in Thor’s gaze, before willing himself to reply.

 

“I know.” He replied meekly before raising his hand to detangle Thor’s grasp from his neck.

 

Thor’s eyes narrowed and Loki quickly moved out of his reach.

 

“How?”

 

“I have ways of seeing that even you cannot fathom. You know this.” Loki uttered, his eyes downcast.

 

Thor made no attempt to move forward, but remained where he stood and continued to stare at Loki who stood cradling his injured hand. The raven head raised his gaze to Thor’s figure. The top clasps of his shirt were undone and he could see his key gleaming on his breast. He felt his pulse quicken, and saw the key shiver. He furrowed his brow and his eyes locked upon Thor’s, a knowing look passed across his features.

 

“We could not see you. You had vanished from our sights. Tell me what happened, please Loki.”

 

“You said you wished to know why I let go, I gave you that, is that not enough for you?”

 

“Loki please.”

 

“I would think that you would have better ways to spend your time, _sire_. Do you not have a kingdom to run?”

 

Thor growled and advanced on Loki, pushing him firmly, but not harshly against a wall, the movement causing the key to drift over the fabric of Thor’s shirt, where he felt it shudder.

 

“Stop this Loki! Being here is more important that any happenings on Asgard. Surely you know this or you would not allow me to treat you thusly. You would not so willingly stay here while I _‘torment’_ you, am I not right? You could easily leave. You want me here and you are scared that I know this.”

 

Thor’s eyes drilled into Loki’s as he spoke in his deep timbre. Loki’s face fell and he turned his head to the side, averting his gaze momentarily before his panicked eyes strayed to where is key lay on Thor’s chest. He felt a calloused hand on his cheek ease his head up. Loki’s eyes apprehensively drifted up to Thor’s through a veil of hair that fell into his face. He felt the intensity of Thor’s hurt and hopeful stare bore into his mind and steeled his jaw.

 

“It is a long story.” Came his soft reply.

 

 

Thor’s face softened and gave a sad smile as he brushed aside the hair that covered Loki’s green eyes, ignoring his one brother’s intake of breath at the action.

 

“I have all the time in the world.”

 

 

* * *

 

Thor sat on a small balcony with Loki, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. The aroma drifted up into his nostrils, filling him with nostalgia of when he first discovered the drink on Midgard. Loki sat across from him nursing a cup of tea as they sat in weak rays of the midday sun. A table sat between them with a couple of plates sitting atop it filled with bread, spreads and fruit. Loki, despite picking and eating little had insisted that he would not start his tale until they had eaten, and watched as Thor broke his fast. So now they sat in the sun, its rays attempting to part grey clouds and ease off the lingering chill of winter as the seasons rolled into spring.

 

Thor watched Loki as he stared into his mug. Thor had finished eating and now sat watching Loki, waiting for him to start his tale. Loki broke out of his reverie and raised his gaze to stare out into the distance across to the clouds hovering over the London skyline before he spoke.

 

“I fell into the abyss. I fell for I know not how long. It could have been minutes, hours, days… it felt like a lifetime. I thought by letting go I could end everything in that dark, but I was not given that blessing. Impulsive decisions usually never come through.”

 

He paused to take a sip of his tea. Thor’s jaw remained set and tensed in place.

 

“I began to despair and I longed for death. I was weak. I felt my magic draining. With as much power as I could summon I created an energy field which I thought would destroy me, but it didn’t work. There was a burst of light then everything went dark. When I awoke I found myself on a mountainous range, cold and ragged. I wondered for a long time amongst the ranges, not knowing where I was. I lay in purple fields of heather lost and aimless until I encountered mortals wandering in the highlands north of these lands. As I wondered I learnt more of the realm I had fallen to. I was angry that of all places I found myself on Midgard, the place you hold so dear. I will not shy away nor deny that I killed on this earth. I killed out of rage and despair. I caused destruction. My mayhem disguised as freak accidents of nature.”

 

Loki paused to glance over at Thor who was watching him intently. Loki was unnerved at Thor’s stare and averted his gaze before continuing.

 

“I fell into a depression that even spreading destruction across lands did not soothe. If anything it made me despise myself even more. I grew weary of roaming and found myself here, in London within in United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. I…”

 

Loki faltered and his hands shook, causing him to hastily put his cup down.

 

“Loki?” Thor questioned quietly, watching as tears formed in bright green eyes.

 

Thor slid off his chair to kneel in front of his once-brother, placing a hand on his knee in attempt to comfort and encourage him. Loki’s unfocused eyes fell down to Thor’s face.

 

“I tried to end my life again. I meant to cut myself open and bleed myself dry, but someone found me. I was admitted to human healing houses. Of course they discovered oddities to my form, to my make-up. I remember little of that. They riddled my body with numbing substances, it is but a blur in my mind. When I awoke I found that I had been taken into ‘care’ by an organisation called SHEILD. The one you had minor dealings with when you attempted to retrieve Mjolnir when you were in exile.”

 

“The son of Coul?”

 

“Yes, Coulson amongst others.”

 

Thor nodded in recollection and remained silent as he mulled over Loki’s story, absent mindedly rubbing Loki’s knee with his thumb.

 

 “They detained me for a while once they knew of my identity. They interrogated me but released me once they believed I posed no threat to none but myself and  believed they were capable of releasing a suicidal god upon their realm.”

 

Loki gave a bitter laugh.

 

“I nearly lost you twice.” He said softly.

 

Loki’s clouded gaze met Thor’s guilty one.

 

“No Thor, I lost myself.”

 

Thor frowned at Loki’s admission.

 

“Loki-“

 

Thor rebutted, but was interrupted by a ringing noise inside. Loki jerked and stood abruptly.

 

“Loki!”

 

Loki spun around and held up a hand to silence Thor, trying desperately to contain his emotions before he sought out his mobile to answer the call. ‘NR’ flickered on the call display.

 

“Natasha”

 

…

 

“I did, I’ve been a tad preoccupied.”

 

His gaze flickered to where Thor sat on the balcony floor, staring at him quizzically, his gaze making Loki feel sick in the stomach.

 

“Yes, he’s with me.”

 

…

 

“Yes everything is fine. We’re yet to tear each other apart.”

 

 

Thor frowned at this comment, causing Loki’s lips to quirk.

 

…

 

“I jest. I do not know how long. Can SHEILD give him clearance, you know he is not a threat.”

 

…

 

“Ah, yes. But people change. Unless you want to screen me again.”

 

…

 

“I swear.”

 

…

 

Loki gave a bitter laugh, and turned swiping at a tear that escaped his eye.

 

…

 

“I’m glad you think so.”

 

…

 

“You’re on the other side of the pond?”

 

…

 

“I see.”

 

…

 

“Of course. We won’t be going anywhere.”

 

Loki removed the phone from his ear and hung up before looking back to Thor.

 

“It seems we’re to have a visitor.”

 

“Friend or foe?”

 

The corner of Loki’s lip twitched.

 

“Perhaps somewhere in between.”

 

Thor got to his feet and walked towards Loki.

 

“You didn’t finish your tale.”

 

Loki’s face went blank, his eyes steely and his voice came softly and quickly.

 

“I think I have told you enough to contemplate this morn.”

 

Thor grabbed his arm as he went to turn and pulled the raven head close, one hand on his waist, the other on the back of his neck and gently knocking their foreheads together. Loki closed his eyes tightly at the gesture and attempted to turn his head away, but Thor held him in place.

 

“Please don’t push me away, Loki.”

 

Loki swallowed and refused to open his eyes.

 

_You know I never wanted to._

Thor felt a gentle push at his chest where Loki’s hands lay.

 

“As much I would like to and you may think that I do, I can’t.”

 

Thor hesitantly let Loki remove himself from the embrace and step back a few paces before schooling his features and clearing his throat as if nothing had passed.

 

“Come. You must wish to bathe. I will see if I have any clothes that will fit you.”

 

“Loki.” Thor pleaded.

 

Loki’s composure threatened to crack.

 

“I will tell you the rest of which you wish to know later. But not now.”

 

The blonde remained stoic and gave a small nod and watched as Loki turned and wordlessly ascended the stairs. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Cold' by The Cure is from their 1982 album Pornography.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has left kudos, comments and feedback. This is my first fic in a long long time and you're all being so encouraging. 
> 
> XX


	9. Chapter 9

**Empty Souls – Chapter Nine**

_Oh, can't anybody see_   
_We've got a war to fight_   
_Never found our way,_   
_Regardless of what they say._   
  
_How can it feel, this wrong_   
_From this moment_   
_How can it feel, this wrong_

Portishead, _Roads._

 

 

* * *

 

Loki stood in front of his wardrobe. He groaned and ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated what he could give Thor to wear. Giving him a pair of his jeans was completely out of the question - there was no way he could wear any of them without splitting the garment at the seams. Thor would just have to continue wearing his breeches. Loki ended up fishing out a loose black shirt and to his apprehensive embarrassment, a pair of underwear. 

 

Loki heard the sound of running water cease. He hurriedly put his clothes back in order and closed the wardrobe doors, turning around to view Thor entering the bedroom, half naked with only a towel slung about his hips. Loki’s eyes bulged and he quickly averted his eyes before he allowed them to rake across his chest. Without looking at the blonde he flung the clothes onto the bed.

 

“I’m afraid I do not have any trousers or jeans that will fit you.”

 

Thor peered at Loki, noticing a flush travelling across his cheeks and neck, before abruptly turning away from him. As soon as he had done this Loki left the room and he heard the bathroom door close loudly. 

 

Loki leant against the bathroom door and attempted to calm his heavy breathing as he screwed his eyes shut and cursed his actions and his carelessness that lured Thor to Midgard. His heart hammered in his chest and he began to feel ill at the thought of what other answers Thor would press him for, what he would ask about his admissions in his diaries as he stood there with that blasted key hung about his neck. Once he calmed his breathing he leant off the door and walked to the shower, only turning on the cold tap in a hope of banishing his warring thoughts.

 

 

* * *

 

Thor took the clothes Loki had flung onto the bed and began dressing. Once he fastened his breeches he took the black t-shirt and slipped it over his head. Given, it was a little more figure hugging than he would have liked, but he would gladly accept anything Loki would give him. He grasped the front of it and craned his head down and sniffed the fabric and gave a small smile as even years and realms apart, it smelt familiar. It smelt like Loki. Releasing his grasp on the shirt and smoothing the soft fabric down, he looked at his surroundings, properly taking in the contents of Loki’s bedroom. He felt a pang of longing as he took in the trinkets and items laying on shelves, thinking it was not so dissimilar to his dwelling in Asgard. Loki always had the habit of collecting items which many deemed strange and it seemed that intrigue of his prevailed.

 

He walked over to the dresser and trailed his fingers over Loki’s belongings, frowning at metal objects he did not recognise, before his hand rested on a wooden frame that held an incredibly realistic picture of Loki and his bandmates. Thor frowned and tried to remember what humans called these pictures that depicted people as real as a mirror. _A photograph_ , Thor remembered, feeling chuffed. The brunette on the left squinted at him, a long white smoking stick hanging ungracefully from his lips, the blonde on the right had his lips pursed together as if he were blowing a kiss to the person holding the camera, and in between them was Loki, his eyes were rolled upwards in mock annoyance and his red lips formed a lopsided smirk. Thor picked up the frame to look at it more closely, and laughed to himself before placing it down again on the dresser. Then his smile fell. _Was Loki happy here?_ He wondered and thought perhaps he had made a mistake coming to Midgard. Loki was obviously disturbed by his presence. Thor shook his head in attempt to clear his thoughts. He had come to Midgard to see Loki and he would be accountable for his actions, and furthermore, he wanted to set things right between them however long it may take.

 

He walked out of the bedroom. He could still hear the sound of running water in the bathroom, so looked to his left where he saw another room. Curious to see how Loki was living his life he walked into the doorway. The room was a study of some sort. There was a desk, and on top of it sat a laptop. Thor smiled to himself as he remembered the names of the Midgardian inventions. There were papers and notebooks scattered across the desk. The several large pictures on the wall of imposing looking individuals, predominantly dressed in black, although one had shocking red hair and what appeared to be two different coloured eyes. Above it face it read ‘Low, David Bowie’.[i] On the opposite wall hung a framed silver disc and blueish square picture that. Underneath it was a silver plaque that read:

 

_Loki Laufeyson_

_for_

_My Beloved Monster, Hel_

_Platinum Sales in the United Kingdom_

_July 2011_ [ii]

 

Thor heard the sound of water cease, and paused when he heard the bathroom door open and another door close before he continued looking about the room. On the floor there lay a couple of large black box with knobs on the top. Thor frowned, not knowing what they were, before his gaze fell upon two instruments propped up in the corner of the room. They were both long and strung with metal wires and similar to the ones he had seen Loki’s bandmate playing. One was a deep red colour with sharp curling sides with a silver and green image of a fanged serpent on it[iii], the other was black and glittering white embellished with a black emblem of a wolf.[iv] Curiously Thor walked towards them and reached out to touch them. Just as he laid a hand on the red one a sharp zap of magic surged through his arm. As he swore and quickly withdrew his arm he heard a soft chuckling behind him.

 

“I should have warned you not to harm my children,” came Loki’s voice.

 

Thor turned around to where Loki stood, leaning against the doorway, clad in black jeans and a black t-shirt, his wet hair hanging about his shoulders and there was a mischevious glint in his eye, a ghost of his former self.

 

“Your children?” Thor asked incredulously.

 

“Near enough.” He replied.

 

Loki stared at him thoughtfully, as Thor stood frowning at him before he moved forward past Thor to pick up the red guitar.

 

“Humans have a habit of calling their instruments, specifically their guitars their babies, I prefer to call them me children. They also tend to associate them with weapons, sometimes calling them an ‘axe’.”

 

Thor continued to frown, but it lifted slightly when he saw the amusement in Loki’s tired eyes.

 

“This one is called Jörmungandr, but she tends to be called ‘Jörm’…”

 

Thor watched as Loki’s eyes softened as he spoke of the instruments, then placed it down before picking up the other.

 

“And this one, his name is Fenrir.”

 

Thor watched wordlessly as he stroked along the guitar’s neck and placed it down.

 

“Would it be appropriate for me to say that they are beautiful?”

 

“Always.” He answered with a small smile playing upon his lips.

 

“You play them?” Thor asked.

 

Loki looked up sharply at the blonde before muttering sarcastically.

 

“No, I keep them in case I need to pummel imposters. Like you wield Mjolnir.”

 

“I wouldn’t put that past you.” Thor retorted.

 

Thor immediately regretted his words as he watched anger flare across Loki’s face before he turned on his heel and shot out of the room. Thor caught Loki’s arm as he started to descend the staircase.

 

“Loki I’m sorry.”

 

Loki turned his head to face Thor, his anger quickly dissipating.

 

“Forget about it.” He muttered before quickly shaking himself out of Thor’s grasp and continued down the stairs. Thor paused and watched him before following him down.

 

“How did you learn to play, and sing?” he called after the brunette.

 

“I taught myself, with a little help. After I met Stefan.”

 

“One you were on stage with?”

 

“The very same.”

 

Thor watched Loki thoughtfully as he followed him into the kitchen.

 

“I hardly hear you sing when we were young.” _Or when we were brothers_ , Thor thought.

 

Loki sighed exasperatedly and massages his temple with his thumb and forefinger.

 

“Thor, did I not say I would continue later.” He chided in annoyance as he continued busying himself in attempt to fend off Thor’s inquisitiveness.

 

Thor saw a strange flicker in Loki’s eyes, and relented.

 

“Do you sing of Asgard?”

 

Loki stopped abruptly, clinking two glasses together loudly before bracing his hands on the kitchen bench. He exhaled heavily and bowed his head. Silence hung heavily in the air before Loki spoke.

 

“I’ve written many songs about Asgard, and about you.” Came his quiet reply.

 

 

He continued musing.

 

“In them I attempt to purge myself of everything I feel. As horrible as those feeling may be in them I try and make sense of myself. They’ve become a form of … exorcism. It just so happens that others relate to how I have felt, how I continue to feel.”

 

He paused for a moment before continuing, although avoided looking at Thor where he stood.

 

“It is strange that in delving into my own despair I give others hope. That is why I began making music first with Stefan, then with Mark. It reminds us that we’re not alone.”

 

Thor cautiously approached Loki who now remained motionless. The blonde was taken back and moved by Loki’s openness, yet was disturbed by the conflicted look upon his face. Wanting to coax him further he apprehensively placed a hand on Loki’s left shoulder and felt him move into the touch. Loki’s green eyes met Thor’s and they stared long at each other. Loki swallowed as he peered into the depths of Thor’s blue gaze and sensed grief and understanding in his tender gaze. He felt vulnerable and trapped and fought to tear himself away from Thor. Thor’s grip tightened slightly at the sudden sound of the front doorbell ringing. The noise snapped Loki out of his trance, causing him to flinch at Thor’s touch, quickly shrugging off his hand.

 

Loki avoided Thor’s look of hurt as he moved away, and straightened his posture looking more like the striking figure he saw the previous night. With a flick of his hand magic shimmered over his figure and he stood looking immaculate, his wet hair now dry and swept off his face, faint traces of black surrounded his now dramatic eyes and his feet were now covered in knee high black leather boots. Suddenly his countenance echoed that of his former self, the one he was so used to seeing crowned with a horned helm. Loki shot a look towards Thor, and gave another quick gesture causing a jolt of magic to flow about his body, rendering his hair dry and tidy, and retrieving his own boots and fastening them on his feet.

 

“Stay there.” He commanded authoritatively before looking Thor up and down and walking to the front door.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Thor watched as Loki walked back down the hall followed by a red haired woman flanked by two tall men dressed in black suits. The woman was dressed more casually in dark jeans, Cuban heeled boots, and a tan leather jacket over a white t-shirt.

 

Loki looked towards Thor, who began to step forward to the woman as she stared at him.

 

“I’ve heard a lot about you Thor, not all from Loki mind. I’m Agent Natasha Romanov, I work for an organisation called SHEILD. I believe you met one of my colleagues, Agent Coulson when you were last here.”

 

Natasha stretched out her arm to shake hands with Thor, who gently grasped her hand and brought it to his lips to lay a kiss upon it, causing her to raise her eyebrows.

 

“I believe that I did. It is a pleasure to meet you Lady Romanov.”

 

Natasha cleared her throat as Thor released her hand and shot a sideways look to Loki.

 

“I forgot your Asgardians do things differently, and there’s not need for titles, I’ve never been a lady in the true sense of the word. Call me Agent Romanov, or better still, Natasha.”

 

Thor looked bashful for a short moment and gave a quick nod and looked over to Loki who had a small smile on his lips.

 

Natasha turned around to the two men she walked in with and nodded to them, causing one of them to hand her a white folder, before they both nodded in return and silently walked back to the front door. Once they were gone she turned to face the Asgardians, looking upon Thor then Loki.

 

“Shall we?” Loki queried, motioning for Natasha to sit on the settee.

 

She wordlessly took a seat on the soft black leather couch. Thor followed her and sat opposite the redhead in an armchair. Loki remained standing, his arms folded across his chest.

 

She opened the folder.

 

“Thor, you have been given security clearance by SHEILD. We have identification for you here.” She said, handing Thor several ID cards who took them gratefully, pleased that they read ‘Thor Odinson’ rather than ‘Donald Blake’.

 

“It took Director Fury a fair bit of persuading to give you clearance after the storm you both kicked up last time you were on Earth, but since I am on such good terms with you, he was swayed.”

 

Natasha started intently at Loki who nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“It is much appreciated.” He said, returning her gaze.

 

She gave a small smile and turned to look at Thor.

 

“But, despite this I’ve been instructed to tell you Thor that it would be unwise for you to stray from Loki’s side while you are visiting, which may I ask is how long…?”

 

Thor shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

 

“We hadn’t got that far.” Loki said smoothly, striding to the coffee table to retrieve his metal cigarette case, flicking it open to pull out a long white stick.

 

Thor stared at him curiously, remembering how he saw Midgardians engaging in this practice of smoking. Loki offered the box to Natasha who hesitated then took one. Loki then took a lighter out of his pocket, lighting Natasha’s then his own cigarette whilst Thor continued to stare at the two.

 

“Loki you’re a bad influence on me. If Barton saw me right now He’d have your head.”

 

Loki laughed.

 

“You know that’s the only kind of influence I like to be.”

 

“You’re lucky you’re never going to have to worry about lung cancer.”

 

Thor looked back and forth at the two, feeling left out and somewhat confused.

 

Natasha turned to Thor.

 

“Was your brother- erm, was Loki always the more devious one?” Natasha quickly recovered herself, shooting Loki an apologetic look.

 

Thor looked up at Loki whose cigarette laden hand stopped midway to his mouth before clearing his throat and replying.

 

“He definitively had a mischievous side.”

 

Natasha smiled and bent forward to the coffee table tapping her cigarette on the ashtray that conveniently appeared.

 

“As I was saying before, I would strongly recommended that you don’t venture too far from Loki while you are here or you may get a not so pleasant visit from someone who isn’t me. I’ll be in London for another week or so before I head back to the States, but I daresay I’ll be back in the not too distant future. If I’m not here, you’ll have to contact Agent Farquharson. He’s the new head of SHEILD in the UK.” She said, holding out a card to Loki who took it, reading over it quickly and giving a curt nod before placing it down on the table.

 

Natasha then paused before reaching back into the folder.

 

“I also have something from Director Fury insisted I give to you.”

 

She pulled out several papers and placed them on the table.

 

Loki rolled his eyes and took a drag, blowing smoke from his lips, exhaling it in the form of a snake; it’s forked tongue flickering and hissing.

 

“You know I have no interest joining Fury’s merry band of soldiers.”

 

Natasha and Thor watched as the hissing snake disappeared and Loki glared at the documents on the table.

 

“I know you’ve never been keen on the programme, but Fury wants you to look at it, in case you ever… reconsider. And since Thor is here too, he thought you both might want a look at it.” She said shooting a sidelong glance to Thor.

 

“I am not one of his superheroes.” He retorted.

 

Natasha paused before continuing.

 

“You’re a superhero of your own kind in the music world, Loki. I know what people write about you. We know what you’re fans are like. You’re a spokesperson for the misunderstood, and I know you care about the inhabitants of this planet, that you care about us more than you let on.”

 

Loki clenched his jaw and refused to look at Natasha who in turn stubbed out her cigarette before getting to her feet. As she rose Thor also got to his feet.

 

“Loki, Fury just sees a lot of potential in you, that’s all”

 

When Loki remained silent she sighed and turned to face Thor.

 

“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Thor, and I hope we will have nothing but pleasant dealings with you.”

 

“I hope so also. Thank you. If I may, I would ask after the well being of Lady Jane Foster,” Thor queried.

 

“Ah yes, Miss Foster now has frequent dealing with SHEILD. She’s doing fine. From what I have heard, she raves about you.” She replied, raising her eyebrows.

 

“That is good to hear. Please send her my regards if you encounter her."

 

“I probably won’t come across her for a while yet, but consider it done," she said, causing Thor to smile..

 

“Thank you.”

 

Thor dipped his head slightly and Natasha gave him a smile in return. She turned to face Loki, but he now stood with his back to the two.

 

“Loki.”

 

Loki also gave a curt nod as he stood gazing out a window, before Natasha strode out of the room. Just as the front door clicked open Loki turned on his heel, threw the cigarette butt into the ashtray and strode after her.

 

“Miss Romanov a moment if you please!”

 

Hearing the slight wavering in is voice the redhead stopped in her tracks in the doorway and took in Loki’s dark figure, before turning to her accompanying agents and dismissing them to wait for her by the black sedan that was parked out the front. Once they were out of an earshot Natasha’s hardened features slanted into one of concern.

 

“Loki?”

 

Loki stood before her, eyes downcast.

 

Hesitantly Natasha took a step towards his towering figure and placed a firm hand on his upper arm, causing him to lift his head.

 

“He’s very handsome. Very nice abs, those arms too.” She murmured.

 

“Don’t!” Loki exclaimed in a hushed voice, glaring and hissing through his teeth causing Natasha to laugh.

 

Once she composed herself she cleared her throat and looked seriously back at the Asgardian who had a pink stain across his high cheekbones.

 

“Sorry, couldn’t help it. I have to go, this being business. Remember I’m here for around a week. Call me if you need me.”

 

Loki nodded solemnly.

 

“Thank you.”

 

After giving a quick look to the car by the roadside she quickly rushed forward to embrace Loki, who folded his arms about her in a quick hug.

 

“Goodluck.” She whispered before releasing her brief but heartfelt hold on him.

 

Just as they parted Thor emerged to stand in the hallway and raised an eyebrow at the two as they released each other. Natasha gave one more look to Thor before she winked at Loki and turned on her heel.

 

Once she had stepped into the car and it drove off from the curb Loki closed the door and turned to face Thor who had a curious expression on his face.

 

“You are both friends?”

 

Thor studied Loki as he leant against the door, a distant look in his eyes giving way to a wistful smile.

 

“In a strange way, yes.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

[i] Low is an album by David Bowie released in 1977. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low_(David_Bowie_album)

[ii] My Beloved Monster is a song by Eels and is also my old band’s name.

[iii] Gibson SG Guitar http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/SG/Gibson-USA/SG-61-Reissue.aspx

[iv] Fender ’72 Thinline Telecaster http://www.fender.com/en-AU/products/fsr-american-vintage-72-tele-thinline/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. Suddenly my life is quite busy.
> 
> 'Roads' by Portishead is from their 1994 album Dummy.  
> http://youtu.be/Y23n8AAikLM
> 
> I hope you like my inclusions of Loki's children.


	10. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback.

**Empty Souls – Chapter Ten**

**_Interlude – a flash back_ **

_Heftur Með Gaddavír Í Kjaftinum Sem Blæðir Mig_   
_Læstur Er Lokaður Inn Í Búri_   
_Dýr Nakinn Ber Á Mig_   
_Og Bankar Upp Á Frelsari_   
_Ótaminn Setur Í Ný Batterí_

_  
Og Hleður Á Ný_

_Og Hleður Á Ný_

_Og Hleður Á Ný_

_Og Hleður Á Ný_

  
_Við Tætum Tryllt Af Stað_   
_Út Í Óvissuna_   
_Þar Til Að Við Rústum Öllu Og Reisum Aftur_

_  
Aftur Á Ný_

_Aftur Á Ný_

_Aftur Á Ný_

_  
Aftur Á Bak Þar Sem Við Ríðum_

  
_Aftur Með Gaddavír_   
_Í Kjaftinum Sem Rífur Upp Gamalt Gróið Sár_   
_Er Orðinn Ryðguð Sál_   
_Rafmagnið Búið_   
_Mig Langar Að Skera_   
_Og Rista Sjálfan Mig Á Hol_   
_En Þori Það Ekki_   
_Frekar Slekk Ég Á Mér_

_  
Aleinn Á Ný_

_~_

_Barbwire stapled in my bleeding mouth._   
_Locked in a cage,_   
_Naked animals beat me._   
_A liberator knocks,_   
_An untamed inserts new batteries._

  
_And charges once again_

_And charges once again_

_And charges once again_

_And charges once again_

_We set off into the unknown,  
Until we destroy everything and are dominant._

_  
Once again_

_Once again_

_Once again_

  
_Once again in the back where we ride,_   
_The barbwire returns._   
_In my mouth, ripping up an old healed wound._   
_My soul has grown rusty,_   
_The electricity is gone._   
_I want to cut_   
_And slice myself to death,_   
_But daren't risk it._   
_Instead I turn myself off_

_  
Alone again_

Sigur Rós, _Ný Batterí_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki cracked his eyes open. Everything was white filled with a disturbing smell - one used to cloak death. He quickly shut his eyes and fell back into sleep.

 

His dreams gave him no respite from the aching pain he felt through his body. He fell back into the abyss of his mind, hoping that he could will his soul to collapse on itself that he should never again wake.

 

* * *

 

Loki shifted where he lay and squeezed his eyes shut in pain and despaired.

 

Death had defeated him again. 

 

He slowly turned his head to his left where he found a woman seated by his side. She gazed steadfastly at Loki before his gaze flickered down to where he lay and to his bandaged arms and his wrists where tubes were stuck into his skin, and then to the black restraints that wrapped around his body and limbs. 

 

He looked back up to the woman. 

 

So they knew he was dangerous, or they knew who he was.

 

"Do you know who I am?" He rasped, wincing at how small his voice sounded. 

 

The woman steeled herself and cleared her throat before replying.

 

 "We were hoping you could tell us. Although, as you can gather, we perceive you to be quite the unique individual."

 

Loki stared blankly at her. 

 

"Once I thought I knew who I was. It was nought but a lie."

 

The woman shifted in her seat, unnerved by the lack of emotion in his eyes. 

 

"And who was that person?"

 

She watched as he clenched his jaw.

 

"A perverted, outcast."

 

She raised an eyebrow.

 

"That's a little harsh."

 

"The truth is never pleasant."

 

He dropped his gaze to his left arm and experimentally rotated his wrist. 

 

"I should have been left to die."

 

She watched as anger flickered in his eyes. 

 

"What about those who love you? Your family?"

 

The anger dissipated from Loki's eyes.

 

"I am as good as dead to them and they were never my kin. They should have left me on that frozen wasteland to die."

 

They stared at each other long and hard before Loki caved.

 

"What do you care?" he snarled, glowering at her.

 

"Why do you care that I ask?" She retorted. 

 

Loki looked away from her and silence descended upon them and Loki gazed upon his restraints. He knew he could break them if he was stronger, but felt no compulsion to. If anything he felt strangely comforted that he was grounded, that he felt pressure against his skin. This felt so different from his aimless and desperate suspension in the abyss.

 

He looked back to the woman and regarded her demeanour, dressed in black with her stern posture and the steely determination that rivalled his own. Strangely enough he found himself admiring her.

 

"I am your prisoner, am I not?"

 

"You know you are, even in your state."

 

Loki scoffed at himself and sat regarding her in silent contemplation before coming to a decision.

 

"My lady, if you give me your name, I shall give you mine." 

 

The corner of her lips quirked at the odd title, and she crossed her legs before responding.

 

"Natasha, Natasha Romanov."

 

"Loki …Laufeyson."

 

* * *

 

"Would you like to tell us where you're from? You were handed over to us when medical staff became aware of your... difference, your superhuman capabilities. We've encountered people like you before, the results of freak accidents... Exposed to radiation and given phenomenal strength-“

 

"I'm already a freak." Loki snorted with a twisted bitter grin.

 

The grey suited man stared at him, puzzled.

 

"That's a very harsh accusation to throw at yourself, Loki."

 

His eyes snapped up to the man and his eyes narrowed hesitantly upon hearing someone speak his name. 

 

"Miss Romanov informed me of your identity. Truth be told, we think we know where you're from. We just want to confirm it and ensure whether you came here via any other system."

 

Loki looked suspiciously at the man from where he lay.

 

"It was merely a year ago that we had your brother in a similar position. Perhaps you'd like to... enlighten me on the occurrence of Asgardians making an appearances on Earth."

 

* * *

 

"I'm afraid he won't answer to anyone but you."

 

"Coulson, I'm scheduled to be in Washington in 16:00."

 

"I know. That is why I've just sent Agent Farquharson instead."

 

Natasha narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

 

"I’m sorry?"

 

"This is more important than Sheild's bi-annual trans-Atlantic anti-terror conference."

 

The red head raised an eyebrow.

 

"More important than me having risked my neck in gathering counter-terror information in the Caucases for the better part of this year? Well thank you." She muttered darkly.

 

Coulson grimaced a smile.

 

"Agent Romanov, we never take your life nor your services to shield for granted. It is for this very reason, our value of you that I want you to stay."

 

"Stay? Stay and what, babysit a clinically depressed, tortured and suicidal alien?"

 

Coulson sighed.

 

"Natasha, he's trusts you."

 

Natasha flicked her gaze to the nearby monitor displaying images and facts about Loki, and the digital file on the other Agardian, Thor.

 

“Do I have a choice?” she queried.

 

Agent Coulson gave a thin-lipped smile and peered at the red head who sighed in return.

 

"Farquharson's been briefed?"

 

"He's been reading the paper the past week." Coulson replied coolly.

 

Natasha gave a laugh and shook her head.

 

"Somehow I am not surprised. Well, I guess we have a deal."

 

 

* * *

 

"How did you get here?"

 

"I fell."

 

Natasha snickered softly to herself.

 

"And I thought David Bowie was the only man who fell to earth."

 

Loki looked at her in confusion.

 

"Nevermind." She muttered to herself before continuing.

 

"How did it happen? Did it have to do with your brother, Thor?"

 

Loki refused to look at her and swallowed. Natasha noticed the way Loki's eyes fell and grew glassy.

 

"We know that you both had a not so friendly encounter with the destroyer    that you apparently controlled in New Mexico. Sibling rivalry?" She probed.

 

"He's not my brother." Came Loki's soft and quick reply.

 

"He never was."

 

Natasha regarded the ravenhead carefully.

 

"What is he then?"

 

Loki paused a moment as the cogs turned in his mind.

 

"The heir to the throne of Asgard. The golden prince of the Aesir. Stubborn, ruthless, loyal and beloved."

 

"What does that make you?"

 

"A monster."

 

Loki's gaze burned into Natasha's, his eyes brining with tears.

 

"From that frozen wasteland?"

 

“You certainly pay attention.”

 

“It’s my job.” Natasha retorted.

 

They held each others gaze until Loki broke away and silence reclaimed the room until he continued softly.

 

"Jotunheim. Home of the Jotuns, the Frost Giants."

 

He looked back to where Natasha sat.

 

"My Jotun form has long been cloaked by my Asgardian form, what you see now. I have since learnt to reveal my 'true' self." He said bitterly, staring at his left hand as he clenched it.

 

"There was war between Jotunheim and Asgard near millennia ago over Midgard, over this earth. The Jotun were overthrown. I was taken as a kind of a bargaining chip, raised as an Aesir prince."

 

"How old we're you?"

 

"Nought but a babe. My identity was withheld from me. I discovered my heritage in an unintentionally unpleasant way."

 

"What happened to your parents?"

 

"I know nothing of my mother."

 

"Your father?"

 

"Laufey, King of Jotunheim."

 

"What happened to him?"

 

"I killed him."

 

"Why?"

 

Loki stated at his clasped hands, and the restraints that tethered him. He felt anger burning within him.

 

"To prove my worth to Odin, to Asgard."

 

Natasha looked at him questionably.

 

"Odin, Allfather. King of Asgard."

 

"Your adoptive father."

 

Loki did not answer. 

 

"You would kill your own blood for acceptance?"

 

"I tried to kill a whole race." Loki interjected.

 

Natasha's stomach twisted at his words. She had done and seen a few grim things in her time, but she was not expecting herself to be in the same room as one who had just admitted to attempted genocide. She swallowed and saw Loki staring at her, his face haunted and stating at her in fear, his own words clearly disturbing himself.

 

"You didn't succeed."

 

“Obviously.”

 

“Did he stop you? Thor.”

 

Natasha watched as Loki’s jaw tightened.

 

"He stopped the Bifrost destroying the realm. It is our way of travelling between the nine realms. He broke the Bifrost, the impact of it breaking sent us flying towards its end. We would have both fallen into the abyss, but Odin caught Thor, and Thor caught the septre that I held."

 

Loki faltered.

 

Natasha watched Loki's features as she contemplated murder, accident or suicide. Placid as he was Loki looked at her and saw all that she needed to know. 

 

"Why did you choose death?"

 

Loki's face broke into seething anger.

 

"How would you feel if your life was a lie? That you were in truth everything you were brought up to hate, despise, that which you were trained to kill. That you are a monster, and a redundant, stolen and then unwanted pawn, that every breath you have taken you believed yourself vile and perverted!"

 

In his outburst Loki lashed our in anger and broke his restraints before tumbling off the bed and onto the floor. An alarm began to sound and Natasha jumped from her seat and withdrew her pistol, but lowered it as Loki remained slumped on the cold sterile floor. Several armed guards appeared at the rooms entrance but Natasha forcefully glared at them forcing them back as Loki remained motionless. She gingerly lowered her gun and walked over to where Loki lay crumpled on the floor, his body shuddering. After a few minutes the alarm cut out and Natasha patiently watched him as he wept. It took a lot to stir empathy in her, and here she found herself pitying him and his self-loathing. Once Loki had calmed down she spoke she put her pistol back into its holster and crouched by him.

 

"You know, you're the first person who's managed to successfully break those restraints."

 

Loki pushed his hair out of her eyes and looked at her and saw traces of amusement in her eyes. He felt his lip twinge in response forming a small lopsided smirk which she returned. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ný Batterí by Sigur Rós is from their 1999 album 'Ágætis byrjun'.
> 
> Hopefully the translation is correct, I thought to include the Icelandic as well as English lyrics.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone for the feedback. Sorry for for the delay in getting out chapters.
> 
> x


	11. Chapter 11

**Empty Souls – Chapter Eleven**

 

_I'm going to take my time_   
_I have all the time in the world_   
_To make you mine_   
_It is written in the stars above_   
_The gods decree_   
_You'll be right here by my side_   
_Right next to me_   
_You can run, but you cannot hide_   
  
_Don't say you want me_   
_Don't say you need me_   
_Don't say you love me_   
_It's understood_   
_Don't say you're happy_   
_Out there without me_   
_I know you can't be_   
_'cause it's no good_

Depeche Mode, It’s No Good.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Once Natasha was swept away in the black sedan Loki ruefully brushed off Thor's questioning of his involvement, (or there lack of) with SHEILD and Agent Romanov before he looked pointedly at the Thunderer and proclaimed that he needed more appropriate clothing.

 

'If you insist on being here and pestering me I would have you properly attired.’

 

It was with those words that he found himself ushered into a black cab and wordlessly trailing behind Loki beneath they grey London skyline. 

 

They entered several stores with Loki primarily picking out clothing items for Thor which ended with Loki pushing him into a change room. For as Loki feared, Thor was still a tad oblivious in picking out clothing which was flattering and appropriate to his imposing figure, and Thor figuring that Loki had a better eye for style than he did, let Loki lead the way, giving small nods of approval at certain items that Loki drew to his attention.

 

Throughout the expedition Loki remained dour and silent. His features remained carefully controlled and emotionless, only sparking into a scowl at an over enthusiastic shop attendant who mistook him for a woman (from behind) before ogling obviously at Thor.

 

As Thor emerged from the change room clad in slim dark grey jeans and a navy blue t-shirt Loki's measured countenance dropped and he looked anxiously at the blonde as Thor turned to look at himself in a mirror.

 

Loki cleared his throat.

 

"Thor… how long _exactly_ do you plan on staying here?" he asked.

 

Thor frowned and glimpsed at Loki’s reflection in the mirror where he sat with his legs neatly crossed and staring intently at his clasped hands.

 

Thor gave a deep inhale and turned to stare at Loki where he sat before speaking in a measured fashion. 

 

"I... I didn't entirely think this through when I decided upon coming here. I wasn't sure how you would react to my presence."

 

Thor said, watching as tension spread across Loki's frame as he spoke.

 

"I would be here for however long you would have me here."

 

Loki momentarily mulled over his words before he gave a curt nod of his head, causing Thor in turn to smile; Loki's acceptance was the most precious thing he could receive. 

 

In an attempt to divert the conversation Thor turned to look at himself in the mirror, frowning and looking over what he wore sceptically.

 

"You were always much better in picking in attire and appearances. What do you make of this attire?"

 

Loki shook his head in attempt to dissuade his melancholy, instead turning his gaze to Thor, raising his eyebrows as he took in his form. At this action Thor felt a vague nervousness under that green critical gaze. Loki pursed his lips before rising and picking out an aged looking leather jacket from a pile of clothing which lay next to him before presenting it to Thor with a playful smirk. 

 

“I do believe that I still have a much better sense of style than you, although you have always been somewhat passable.”

 

Thor looked at the jacket, and then stared quizzically at Loki's amused face.

 

"Don’t just gawk at it, put it on." Loki muttered dangling out the jacket in one hand before him.

 

Thor took the jacket and shrugged it onto his shoulders, it was dark brown in colour, so dark it was almost black. He marvelled at the softness of the leather and paused to look at his reflection in the mirror. As he stared he mused that Loki certainly knew where to find attire indeed worthy of an Asgardian prince. Even he could see that it fitted him well. He turned around to face Loki who stared at him with a softened look in his eyes.

 

Thor cleared his throat.

 

"Well?" he voice rumbled softly.

 

Loki’s eyes narrowed and he took a couple of steps towards Thor.

 

"The collar's tucked in." He muttered reaching forward slightly to fix the garment. 

 

Thor held his breath as Loki stepped close to fix the garment before Loki's gaze flicked to focus upon his blue orbs. Thor watched as he saw a fleeting look of affection; a look he used to see so much before the advent of their adulthood. Then as if suddenly stung, Loki’s hands jerked away suddenly before he took a step backwards and his eyes hardened. Thor swallowed and his eyes followed Loki’s as he retreated from him. Tension weighed heavily in the confines of the room and Thor opened his mouth to speak before Loki's mobile sounded and he exited the change room, saving Thor from viewing the flustered look on his face.

 

\---

 

A couple of hours and several stores later Thor was armed with what Loki deemed to be sufficient clothing, and after a loud rumbling of his stomach found himself sitting across from Loki in a café, devouring an extremely large burger while Loki picked absent mindedly at an almond croissant and sipped on an espresso. Between mouthfuls Thor continually looked up to watch Loki as he stared lost in thought, his gaze falling upon anything but him, only to flick his gaze towards the blonde when Thor became preoccupied with the food on his plate. Thor wiped his mouth and frowned at Loki, agitated at his avoidance.

 

“Loki, please talk to me.”

 

“What do you want me to say?” Loki snapped quietly.

 

“Tell me about your life here.”

 

“Why do you care?” He hissed.

 

Thor set his knife down with a clatter, paused and bit his tongue.

 

“Do not play games with me Loki. You know why I care,” he said in a low voice.

 

Loki peeked up at Thor’s hard gaze and sighed before he released a small bitter laugh.

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Loki-“

 

“Thor, I’m not the same person whom you once called brother. Indeed I am Loki, but I am not the person who you seemed to cherish who fell from the Bifrost.”

 

“Loki, I know.”

 

“Then why do you press me? ” He provoked.

 

“Because I want to you to tell me of your life now! I want to _understand_ you, and I refuse to leave your side until we make amends. Yes, we are no longer brothers, we never were, it was a lie. But there is nothing you can do that would now remove you from my side.” Thor insisted.

 

A flicker of anger shot through Loki’s eyes.

 

“You are just like your beloved _father_. I am not a trinket for your possession.” Loki hissed eyes flaring as he stood abruptly from his seat.

 

Thor quickly grabbed onto his arm, preventing him from moving from where he stood.

 

“I’m sorry.” Thor uttered quietly.

 

“Let go of me Thor.” Loki muttered.

 

“I’m sorry Loki I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. You must know this.”

 

Loki paused where he stood, immobile and tight lipped. Thor’s eyes darted around the café and saw as a number of waiters stared at them in mild shock at their sudden outburst.

 

“I despaired every day since you fell. I missed you _so_ much, and I know that you know this. Believe me Loki.” Thor said quietly in attempt to calm the situation, whilst staring intently at Loki, feeling tears threatening to spill well in his eyes.

 

“I know that I have done wrong in the past, I know that much has changed, that we have both changed, that there is no going back, but that is why I’m here, I want to understand you. Please, I beg of you, let me in.”

 

Loki swallowed and still refused to look at Thor, who observed how the former was fighting incredibly hard to reign in his emotions.

 

Eventually Loki swallowed hard and gave a meek nod before returning to his seat.

 

Although they sat in silence Thor gazed upon Loki with relief and Loki remained lost in thought, barely aware of the waitress who came to collect their plates.

 

Just as she turned from their table Loki awoke from his reverie.

 

“Excuse me Miss,” he said quickly, his countenance backflipping as he gave her a dashing smile as she turned.

 

“Yes sir?”

 

“Could we please get two double vodka tonic’s with lime? Crystal Head Vodka. ”

 

“Of course sir.”

 

As she turned again and walked off Loki turned his head to look at Thor and bit his bottom lip before speaking.

 

“Ask me what you will.”

 

Loki failed to halt his eyes from rolling as he saw Thor’s face brighten at his compliance, and was grateful when the girl returned with the drinks.

 

Thor sceptically raised the drink to his lips and took a mouth full shrugging at the taste before knocking the whole thing back, causing Loki to scowl.

 

“Maybe I should have asked for a whole bottle. This stuff is weaker than what you would normally drink, although potent by Midgardian standards.”

 

Thor raised an eyebrow and placed the glass down with a heavy hand.

 

“Tell me, how long have you been here. What happened once they released you?” He queried.

 

Loki put down his glass and folded his fingers together, resting his hands on the table.

 

“As time passes in this world, I have deduced that I have been here for akin to six years, give or take.”

 

“It has been just over two years in Asgard.”

 

Loki looked sharply at Thor, pinning him before continuing.

 

“I was… detained for some time. I was interrogated about Asgard, about our prior dalliances and my true identity and my motives here on Midgard. Needless to say that I had none except to fade away.”

 

“What changed your mind?”

 

Loki pursed his lips.

 

“Natasha, Miss Romanov. She was the first to speak to me and interrogated me in the course of my detainment. Although I was technically a prisoner she made me reconsider my purpose. Conveniently for SHEILD we developed an unlikely friendship and let us say that she helped heal my wounds. Well, as little as they could be healed.”

 

“I lived under their supervision for a while as I recovered. They long persuaded me to work for them, insisting that my talents were invaluable to their cause but I refused. I had no desire to involve myself with such an agency. Reluctantly they released me and gave me the required paperwork and identification needed to live in this realm, they also gave me temporary residence in this city and money in hope that they could lure me back to them.”

 

Loki paused and raised the glass to his lips taking a long sip of the drink and swirled the glass in his hands.

 

“I wandered long in this metropolis and gradually my intrigue for life returned, as weak as it was, and SHEILD was always nipping at my heels. I began to immerse myself in Midgardian history and the culture of these lands, which I must say in incredibly fascinating.”

 

“Although I do not deny that I have always been a solitary person, I grew lonely and I missed the company of others. It is so strange that you can stand alongside thousands of people on the streets, yet feel so incredibly alone.” He mused.

 

Thor regarded Loki carefully as he drained his drink and set it down on the table and stared blankly into the glass, lost in his thoughts. At this moment Thor gestured towards the passing waitress.

 

“Another two of these please.”

 

“Doubles in tall or short glasses?”

 

“Short, thank you.” Loki interrupted quickly, giving the waitress an apologetic smile as she nodded and walked away slightly unnerved.

 

Once the girl took away their empty glasses and returned with their new drinks Loki look emerged from his reverie and gazed somewhat uncomfortably at Thor as the other gazed at him intently, sorrow upon his brow.

 

Thor worried the glass in his hand as he next spoke.

 

“Were you lonely in Asgard?”

 

Loki gave a half smiling grimace, his lips twisting bitterly at his never brother’s words.

 

“What do you think?”

 

Thor gritted his teeth.

 

“Please Loki, speak plainly to me!”

 

“Fine then, yes. I was, too often. Satisfied? I was never good enough. Since I was young I felt and was treated differently. Even you were not so thick that you did not know what people whispered about me in the palace.”

 

Loki ceased his spiel, reeling at his words and Thor looked at Loki sadly.

 

“Please Loki, will you not continue your tale?”

 

The raven head paused a moment, recomposing himself, taking a sip of his new drink before continuing.

 

“As solitary as I was, I longed for company and began visiting taverns and bars. Many of them I found to be terrible, terrible atmosphere’s, terrible people, but as I continued I found ones that I liked. I began frequenting a particular one where Midgardians played music, but not as I had known it. It intrigued me and oddly enough, from my distance the people were to my taste. Some of them even looked like me, androgynous and with a penchant for black.”

 

Loki’s lip quipped and he ducked down for a sip of his stronger drink, with Thor following suit.

 

“I began researching the musicians and the type of music that was being played and I felt a connection growing. I visited the venue once or twice a week and began to recognise familiar faces, yet although I frequented the place I spoke to none apart from the bartenders. Stefan was the first Midgardian person outside of SHEILD that I truly met. When we began to talk I recognised a similar kind of loneliness, and it was almost as if we were drawn to one another like two lost empty souls.”

 

Loki paused a small smile escaping his lips as he thought back. Thor continued to stare at him in silence.

 

Loki contined:

 

“We carefully befriended each other and after some time Stefan expressed a desire to start a band of sorts and asked whether I would join him. At first I laughed it off, as I did not play an instrument, yet he was persistent and insisted that he saw potential in me, so I begrudgingly agreed. He then introduced me to Mark – a drummer, who I had also seen lurking in the shadows of the club. He regarded me more sceptically, but eventually trusted me. We began to meet and play music together, or as they say here ‘jam’, and with help from Stefan I began to learn to play the guitar and was persuaded to sing.”

 

Silence descended upon the two as Thor took in Loki’s words before tilting his head and looking incredulously at Loki.

 

“Do they know of your true identity?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Thor looked at him dumbfounded.

 

“Do these people who see you perform know?”

 

“Of course not.” Loki scoffed.

 

“How did Stefan and Mark believe you?”

 

“I got them very drunk and broke it to them.”

 

Thor stared at him in disbelief and laughed.

 

“Luckily, Stefan is originally from Sweden in Scandinavia and they have some _very_ interesting folklore about us. Needless to say they thought I had merely dropped acid into their drinks when I showed them my Jotunn form.” He added with a chuckle.

 

Thor looked at him shocked and utterly confused.

 

“Acid is an illegal hallucinogenic drug used for recreational purposes.” He asserted before continuing.

 

“Once SHEILD was aware of my interaction with Mark and Stefan, and knew of their knowledge of my true identity they were unfortunately put through a security screening. In the end they were given clearance as being a friendly party.”

 

“They let you go just like that?”

 

“Not after the pestered me after this Avengers initiative, something which Director Fury continues to harass me about.” Loki huffed.

 

“Why do you not join them? Why do you not use your powers for good?”

 

Loki paused and looked a Thor with a hardened gaze.

 

“Thor, for once in my life I doing something which I love, with people who understand me. I provide hope and unity for scores of people across this realm. I am _not_ giving this up!” he hissed, tears forming in his eyes as he spoke.

 

“My art provides comfort to so many. I provide a voice and a reassurance that they are not alone, and in return they give me hope.” He uttered, broodingly.

 

Thor waited a moment before pressing on.

 

“Loki, I looked at the brief Miss Romanov left while you were speaking to her, why do you not use your powers for the greater good of this realm, and the Nine Realms? As you duty as a Prince of Asgard surely yo-“

 

“I am no Prince of Asgard you fool, I have no duty to fulfil nor any honour to keep! It is true that I once was one, but no more. I could have been a King of that wretched wasteland, but no more. I am not Loki of Asgard, nor am I Loki of Jotunheim, I am merely Loki and now this is my dominion and I will remain loyal to my own subjects!” Loki uttered, his voice wavering before abruptly turning his head and dropping it into his hands.

 

Thor stared at Loki woefully, tears forming in his own eyes as he watched as Loki braced his forehead in his hands and breathed heavily in attempt to stifle his emotional reaction. Once Loki had calmed down Thor reached across the table and gently peeled Loki’s hands from his face. Loki’s green eyes shone brightly, rimmed with red, triggering a nervous twisting in Thor’s stomach.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

 

Loki steeled himself and nodded back his eyes dropping down to where Thor held one of his hands in his own.

 

“Nevermind.”

 

 

* * *

 

Their cab trip to Loki’s home was a silent one despite Thor’s attempts to reinvigorate conversation, asking Loki about particulars landmarks and buildings.

 

As they arrived at Loki’s residence the sun was already beginning its descent in the sky, and Loki ascended the stairs to his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

 

Loki did not emerge as the night fell and Thor set about amusing himself, attempting to use the television set and finding food to eat in the kitchen before wariness set in.

 

He ascended the stairs as quietly as he could to use the bathroom. He turned open the tap and gather water in his hands splashing it onto his face before leaning heavily on the bench, staring intently at his bare-chested reflection. He sighed and his right hand subconsciously went to the key around his neck.

 

He switched off the bathroom light and went to descend the stairs, pausing at Loki’s door where he could see a faint light under the door.

 

Hesitantly he raised his hand to gently knock on the door.

 

“Loki?” he queried.

 

Silence.

 

“Loki, thank you for today. For everything.” he called softly, yet was met with no reply.

 

He waited a moment before sighing and turning to descend the staircase. He paused as he was about to set a foot on a step, for in that moment he felt a slight tingling and a warmth from the key that hung about his neck.

 

Thor smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry this took so long to post. I was away over the Christmas period visiting family etc. But now I'm back!
> 
> Crystal Head Vodka: http://crystalheadvodka.com/  
> This stuff is fucking amazing. 
> 
> & the ever glorious Depeche Mode's 'It's No Good': http://youtu.be/_-QPvffO1gs  
> This song has been a major muse of mine.
> 
> Love to you all for reading x


	12. Chapter 12

**Empty Souls – Chapter Twelve**

  
_Want to feel what I touch_   
_Want to find what was lost_   
_Want to be kind_   
  
_As you see every curse_   
_And in a dream it'll work_   
_Now you'll feel tied_   
  
_Want to praise with this life_   
_And conceal without lies_   
_I just need time_   
  
_Want to fight every need_   
_Every push every string_   
_Will you stand by?_   
  
_I've been awake through the wrong decisions_   
_I've held the ground now I'm gaining soul_   
_I bit my tongue through the cold realisations_   
_I've been accused but I've only begun_

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, _Awake_

_* * *_

 

 

Thor awoke to the smell of coffee filling his nostrils and a faint shuffling.

 

He rolled over on the couch where he was sleeping and cracked open his eyes, catching a black blur of Loki darting into the kitchen, heels clicking on the floorboards.

 

He swung his legs over the side of the couch and rubbed his eyes and opened them to find Loki leaning in the doorframe holding a mug in each hand, a small lopsided smile on his face.

 

“Good morning. Sorry for waking you.” He said softly before walking over to the coffee table and placing one of the frothed drinks sprinkled with chocolate in front of Thor.

 

Thor watched him curiously from his still sleep fogged mind before reaching out to cradle the mug before turning to regard Loki who had already downed half of his coffee.

 

“You are up early?” Thor queried.

 

“I have a meeting this morning. Music business.”

 

Thor gave a nod and watched as Loki reached into his jacket pocket, retrieving a mobile phone which he held out to Thor.

 

Thor frowned in feigned amusement as he took the device from Loki.

 

“I presume you have an idea of how this works.”

 

Thor raised his eyebrows and Loki’s mirthful gaze.

 

“Somewhat…”

 

“Swipe your thumb across the screen to unlock it. I’ve put in any phone numbers you will need. You can contact me if need be.”  
  
Thor frowned.

 

“Aren’t I supposed to stay by your side while I am here?”

 

Loki rolled his eyes.

 

“Oh, please. I doubt another war will erupt without you nipping at my heels.” He said, before finishing his coffee and getting to his feet.

 

“Loki, is this wise?”

 

 

 

“I should be back in the afternoon. There’s a spare key in the back of the door.”

 

“Loki.” Thor growled following the brunette as he strode to the front door.

 

Loki whipped around as he reached the door to face Thor’s sour glare, returning it with one of his own, placing a hand firmly on Thor’s chest as he opened his mouth to speak and narrowed his eyes pointedly at the blonde.

 

“No Thor.” He uttered quietly before withdrawing his hand. He hesitantly broke his gaze and turned, grasping the door knob and exiting the house.

 

\--

 

Thor sighed as he emerged from the shower towelling his hair. He crouched before the bags containing the Midgardian clothes he had purchased with Loki and began sifting through the contents picking out undergarments, jeans and a t-shirt.

 

Once he was dressed he wandered into the study next to the bathroom, his eyes trailing along books that sat on a large book shelf. Many were Midgardian, and ones he did not recognise, others were decrepit and indeed very old. He gently pulled a fraying leather volume out and opened the cover to flick through the leaves. Thor frowned as he skimmed across several pages, making the book to be a seemingly ancient Midgardian book of magic. Thor worried his bottom lip and carefully slipped the book back into its place before he sat down in an armchair and began to brood upon Loki. He had learnt of Loki’s doings and activities on Earth, yet had not pressed him on the contents of his heart. Thor sighed and ran a hand through his still damp hair as he reflected upon his emotions and his reaction to his once brother, and now honourary citizen of Midgard. He admitted to feeling relief at being near Loki, and a strange awe and fascination as he conducted himself in such a human fashion. He also felt a modest pride in his devotion to his new found passion to his musical art. Loki seemed so similar, yet so different.  Thor gazed about the room lost in thought, yet his reverie was abruptly broken but a sharp buzzing coming from the desk. Thor jolted at the sudden noise and got to his feet, only to find himself looking at the phone Loki had given him before he left.

 

**_Loki:_ **

_There’s money on the kitchen counter if you are in need of it._

Thor’s lips formed into a smile as he read the message on screen, before he slid his finder over the screen unlocking the phone. Curiously, he tried to navigate himself about the smart phone’s menu until he successfully found himself in the address book and came upon the name ‘Natasha Romanov’.

 

* * *

 

“So, did you want to talk about The Avengers initiative, or about Loki?”

 

“Both.” Thor replied.

 

“Which is more pressing?”

 

Thor watched as Natasha stared passively at him, her face eerily emotionless, although she betrayed nothing, Thor knew her mind was ticking over and that she knew _exactly_ what he was about to say.

 

“Loki.” Came their answer in unison.

 

Thor raised his eyebrows and Natasha’s exhaled a small laugh.

 

Thor cracked a smile at her before speaking again.

 

“Tell me about him, when he first came to this realm.”

 

Natasha narrowed her eyes and stared across the Thames, watching the slow rotation of the London Eye.

 

“When I first ‘met’ him, he was hardly alive. He was brought to SHEILD in quite dire circumstances. He was extremely depressed. He begged us for death.”

 

Thor nodded morosely, staring out to the river.

 

“I was the first member of SHEILD to speak to him, and he seemed to trust me. In the end I was the only one who could get information out of him.”

 

“I asked Loki whether you both were friends, he said ‘sort of’” Thor probed.

 

Natasha smiled and turned her head sideways to look at Thor.

 

“Did he now?” She said raising her eyebrows, eyes twinkling.

 

“I think Loki and I have strange yet similar ways of showing affection.”

 

“Affection?” Thor asked, frowning.

 

“Affection between friends.” She asserted.

 

Thor continued to frown.

 

“Thor, I feel as though you are getting the wrong idea. We are not romantically involved.”

 

Unbeknown to Thor, but obvious to Natasha a faint red stain coloured his cheeks.

 

“I meant not disrespect, Lady Natasha. I… I merely care for Loki.”

 

“And that’s why you’re here?”

 

“I grew up wanting to protect him.” He said in earnest.

 

“And it seems that you still do.” Natasha observed pointedly

 

“I cannot deny that.” He rumbled quietly.

 

For a while they both sat in silence gazing out to the water before Natasha spoke again.

 

“Do you know how he feels for you?”

 

Thor jerked his head to face her, his face a mixture of shock and worry.

 

“You know?”

 

“It seems that we both do.”

 

Thor stared at her curiously before his hand reflexively went to his chest to pull the key out of his shirt.

 

“He came to me when I slept. At first I thought it was a dream, but he came as a kind of spirit through his sedir, his magic. He gave me this,” he said, raising the key slightly so that Natasha could get a better look at it.

 

“Days and weeks before he came to me, I had trouble sleeping. I kept dreaming of him falling into the abyss.”

 

He paused, wondering how much of their tale the spy knew.

 

“Has Loki told you of what happened?”

 

Natasha looked at him knowingly.

 

“He did.”

 

Thor nodded before continuing.

 

“I was wracked with terrible guilt and professed a desire to know why he let go. The key… it is enchanted by him. It led me to his diaries. He wanted me to find them, to know the truth. He meant to give me it unbeknown to me, but I caught him, he panicked and his magic was tracked by our guardian in Asgard to here.” He mused, stroking the key with his thumb.

 

“I feel as though I am somewhat responsible for his torment. Yet even if I had knowledge of what he was going through, I know not what I would do. Had I known and we still saw each other as brothers…” Thor trailed off.

 

He paused and then laughed, torn.

 

“Brothers of blood turned lovers would not be viewed favourably in Asgard.” He said entreatingly to the redhead, who sat motionless taking in Thor’s words.

 

“It is not viewed favourably on Earth either.” Natasha mused.

 

She continued:

 

“He revealed it in my interrogating him, once we moved beyond the initial relationship, when he felt he could confide in me. He loathed himself for it nearly as much as knowing that he is Jotunn. He would call himself perverted and vile… it was not very pleasant.”

 

Natasha looked sidelong at Thor, noticing a profound sadness in his eyes.

 

“I wish he never felt any of that pain, that I could have helped him. I wish that things could have been different.”

 

“But things are different now, aren’t they?”

 

Thor huffed somewhat uncomfortably and wrung his hands.

 

“They _are_ , but I want to heal our past. I love Loki dearly, but it comes from loving him as a brother.”

 

Natasha merely nodded in response.

 

Thor then cleared his throat.

 

“Would you tell me what you know of his musical endeavours?” He asked, changing the tone of the conversation, looking hopefully at Natasha.

 

“His band, My Beloved Monster has a big, if not a kind of cult following. They attract a lot of outcasts.” She mused before reaching into her bag and taking out a tablet, tapping on it illuminating the screen before she continued speaking:

 

“Their fans have quite a loyal following, and Loki is quite a… sex figure. He’s turned out to be the poster boy for the androgynous and gender confused.”

Natasha said as she looked sidelong Thor.

 

“Here.” She said, passing the tablet to Thor, encouraging him to scroll through images of the band.

 

Thor raised his eyebrows as he took in the photos, seeing Loki posed with Stefan and Mark, nearly always clad in black with traces of green and black lacquered fingernails.

 

“Have you heard any of their music?”

 

Thor looked up and hesitated.

 

“Ah, yes. When I first arrived the Bifrost took me to a location where they were performing. We first saw one another while he was on stage. He reacted rather… badly.”

 

“That wouldn’t be an incident involve him collapsing on stage a couple of days ago?” She stated, rather than enquired.

 

“Yes.” Thor said sheepishly.

 

“I’ve noticed that it’s been all over the online music press.” She said shuffling over to Thor and taking the tablet off him, tapping and swiping to a news article that read:

 

 

>  
> 
> **_My Beloved Monster’s Loki Laufeyson collapses on stage at homecoming show_ **
> 
> ****
> 
> _Last night Loki Laufeyson of British rock band My Beloved Monster collapsed on stage during their homecoming concert at Brixton Academy. Laufeyson collapsed during the band’s encore and was escorted off the stage unconscious. The band’s management have told the press that Laufeyson is experiencing ‘exhaustion’ after whirlwind word-wide tour of their platinum selling album ‘Hel’ which concluded with last nights’ concert. This is not the first time there have been concerns over the health of the provocative front man, who has been rumoured in the past to have various drugs addictions, and has openly revealed his own struggles with depression and suicide. The bands’ management has assured fans that the singer and guitarist is recovering and sends his appreciation and thanks towards the bands supportive and concerned fans._

 

Accompanying the writing was a two photos. One of Loki and his band mates, and another of Loki being ushered into a car on that very night.

 

Thor continued to frown after reading the article, passing the tablet to Natasha.

 

“I did not know how he would react when I came here. At first he thought I was there to kill him. Or at least, he had convinced himself that.”

 

“Has he always been dramatic?”

 

“Dramatic?” Thor repeated, furrowing his brow.

 

“I would say that he has always been good with words. It is his weapon to turn a situation to good or ill, to manipulate events to his advantage. He was nicknamed ‘Silver Tongue’ in Asgard, but it was oft said in ill intent.”

 

Natasha hummed in response.

 

“Was he well-liked in Asgard?”

 

Thor paused and licked his lip.

 

“Well enough, yes. After all, he was a prince… but he. I…” Thor trailed off and sighed.

 

“We were oft compared to one another, our strengths and weaknesses often battled. In Asgardian society physical prowess and strength was favoured, and many people saw Loki as falling short of the mark. Not to say that he is an incapable warrior – he was incredibly skilled. He merely fought differently, although many, including myself dismissed his mastery of magic - Something which I deeply regret. For a male to practice magic was viewed as cowardly. It was oft asserted that he relied too heavily on his magic and therefore not a true warrior.”

 

“So I’m taking it that Loki must have been somewhat unique in Asgard?”

 

Thor looked up at her and smiled.

 

“Yes.” He answered truthfully and simply.

 

Natasha smiled genuinely, and contemplating at Thor’s admission which plunged them into a comfortable silence.

 

A high pitched beep broke Natasha out of her thoughts, and she slipped her hand into her jacket pocket and scanned her eyes over the screen of her mobile.

 

“Right.” She said exhaling and getting quickly to her feet.

 

“Time to chase after our other Asgardian.”

 

* * *

 

Mark groaned as he Stefan and Loki stepped out onto the sidewalk. Stefan stretching his long arms above his head.

 

“I seriously don’t know how much more footage of myself I can watch.” Muttered Mark, lighting a cigarette.

 

Stefan sighed.

 

“Mark, it’s kinda unavoidable when we’re in the process of editing a live DVD.”

 

Mark looked expectantly at Loki who remained silent and shrugged, fishing his sunglasses out of a bag, slung over his right shoulder.

 

“It could be worse.” He smirked.

 

Mark rolled his eyes.

 

“Of course you don’t mind looking at footage of yourself for hours on end!”

 

Loki pursed his lips and playfully swatted Marks’ side as he stalked past him, causing Stefan to laugh at their banter.

 

Stefan and Mark stared at each other, Mark raising his eyebrows and Stefan rolling his eyes in response. They both ran to catch up to Loki, one either side of the frontman, and forcefully linked their arms with his causing Loki to sigh loudly. Mark batted his eyelashes at Loki.

 

“If I were you I would also be _very_ happy to stare at myself for hours on end. Even more.” He said in a low voice.

 

Loki made an indignant noise halfway between a laugh and a snort.

 

“Just because you are so _desperate_ for me to suck your cock.”

 

Mark feigned horror and Stefan gave an undignified shriek for an otherwise imposing a six-foot tall man.

 

“Just because you _desperately_ want to.”

 

Loki laughed.

 

“You know, it’s your own fault that you suffer so many men coming onto you. For a straight man, you’re a terribly gay flirt.”

 

“I guess I’ve spent too much time with you too.”

 

Loki glanced across to Stefan who was desperately trying to contain his laughter.

 

“Oh, hear that Stefan? We are terrible influences.” Loki said woefully.

 

“It’s his own fault.” Sefan rebutted and continued-

 

“I warned him at the beginning at being stuck with the two of us...”

 

“What? A Swede and an alien?” Loki suggested.

 

“Our very own Ziggy Stardust.” Stefan added.

 

Loki hummed and turned to his right to Mark.

 

“I do believe my poor fellow that your predicament is of your own doing.” Loki teased, causing Mark to shove Loki playfully, but none the too gently, causing Loki and Stefan to collide with a teenage, nearly bowling her over.

 

“Shit!” Stefan exclaimed, steadying the girl.

 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry we were goofing around.”

 

The girl glared at first.

 

“I’m fine.” She mumbled, before looking up, her annoyed glance suddenly turning to one of shock as she found herself staring  Stefan, taking in the tall blonde’s concerned gaze, the even taller figure of Loki as he hissed at Mark.

 

“You brute of a drummer!”

 

Her jaw went slack.

 

“Fuck.” She muttered, dumbfounded.

 

“Um, Can I have your autographs?”

 

Loki whipped his head around and stared at the girl who stared back at him with barely concealed awe. He smiled down at her.

 

“Of course.”

 

The girl quickly dove into her bag and pulled out a black notebook and a sharpie.

 

“I saw you guys a couple of nights ago. You were great. But-oh I’m um, sorry you weren’t well Loki” She said as she tried not to thrust the items at Loki with shaky hands, who scribbled on the page before passing it to Stefan, and Mark, who looked sheepish, then glared at Loki.

 

“Thank you.” Said Loki demurely as he passed the book back to her.

 

“I am much better now.”

 

“That’s good.” she mumbled trying to contain her grin.

 

“Um, would you mind… could I get a photo as well?”

 

Loki shot a look at Stefan and Mark and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Sure.”

 

The girl then pulled out her phone and handed it to Loki who handed it to Stefan.

 

“Mark, come here.” Loki all but commanded.

 

Mark obediently stood next to the girl and Loki as Stefan took the photo.

 

“Your turn.” Stefan said handing it to Mark as they swapped places.

 

“Okay, on three.” Mark warned.

 

“One, two three!”

 

On three Loki bent down and gave the girl a kiss on the cheek, causing her to go bright red.

 

She stammered her thanks as Mark handed her back her phone. As he did a roar of a car engine sounded on the street causing the four of them to turn to look at the silver Audi that came to a halt on the opposite side of the road. The driver’s window rolled down revealing an unmistakeable flame haired SHEILD agent causing Loki to sigh heavily.

 

“Loki, get in the car.” Natasha called out across the road.

 

Loki rolled his eyes and turned to his bandmates.

 

“It seems that my baby-sitter has arrived. I’ll see you both on Thursday.” He said, before dashing across the road and rounding the car bonnet to opening the passenger door.

 

Stefan and Mark watched as the car revved and sped away from the curb. Stefan turned to the drummer.

 

“So… pub?”

 

“Fuck yes.” Mark said a little too enthusiastically.

 

The girl remained rooted to the spot as she watched to two men continue down the footpath before glancing down at her notebook;

 

_I’m so sorry my oaf of a drummer pushed Stefan and I into you today. He is very careless. I am much better, thank you. Love Loki Laufeyson x_

 

* * *

 

When Loki opened the passenger door he immediately caught the sight of Thor squished into the back seat of the car smiling almost too brilliantly at him. Loki sighed.

 

“I had a feeling you would have company, Natasha.”

 

Natasha stared at Loki over the top of her aviators.

 

“Well you should know not to leave your charge alone.”

 

“Thor does not need to be _looked after_ by your silly organisation!”

 

“You know what Loki, I think that too, but I’m following orders. Plus, Thor was the one who contacted me this morning.”

 

Loki frowned and turned around in his seat, looking expectantly at Thor who looked innocently back at the brunette.

 

“It is true, I contacted her. I found her number in the calling device you gave me.”

 

Loki huffed and turned back around in his seat and continued the trip in silence. When they came to a halt at a set of traffic lights Natasha turned to face Loki.

 

“You’re under heavy surveillance with Thor being here.” She said quietly.

 

“I thought that would be the case.”

 

“You’re getting off lightly because it’s me. If Agent Farquharson were here he would be dragging you off to headquarters.”

 

“But he’s not.” Loki quipped nonchalantly.

 

“Loki.” Natasha said, firmly.

 

At this point Thor leaned forward from his seat, clearing his throat.

 

“If it would be beneficial, I would be happy to go to your headquarters to discuss this matter with Agent Farquharson to make clear that I pose no threat.”

 

“Hmm, I’m sure I can arrange something.” Natasha pondered.

 

As she mused the lights turned green and she shifted the car into first gear and accelerated suddenly, the engine snarling and shooting them quickly through the intersection, throwing Thor backwards against the rear seat casing Loki to burst into laughter.

 

“Shit. Sorry Thor! I get way too excited driving this car… Fuck Thor, put the seatbelt on would you?!” She exclaimed glancing in the rear-view mirror.

 

Thor frowned.

 

“The seatbelt?”

 

Loki chewed on his bottom lip in attempt to contain his mirth.

 

“Oh do not worry ‘Tasha, he’ll survive… how long did you say you had this car for? We should go for a drive to the countryside...” he mused.

 

“Loki, over my dead body you are driving this car. Get your own.”

 

Loki pouted.

 

“Maybe I should.”

 

* * *

 

Eventually the car came to a halt outside Loki’s terrace.

 

“Well, thanks for the lift.” Loki said.

 

Natasha shrugged and took off her sunglasses, propping them onto her head.

 

“Anything to spend more time with you.” She sadi feigning seriousness.

 

Loki’s face broke out into a genuine smile and he leant over to hug her and place a kiss on her cheek.

 

“I sincerely hope that you are stationed here longer. I miss you. ” Loki admitted before slipping out of his seat and pulling it forward to allow Thor to clamber out.

 

“Me too Loki, me too.” She sighed.

 

“I do also.” Said Thor as he pulled himself out of the car.

 

“I enjoyed our day greatly. Thank you.” He said quietly.

 

Natasha smiled.

 

“So did I.” She said, somewhat amused by the whole situation.

 

“I have to speak with Agent Farquharson about your interest in involving yourself in the Avengers initiative. I will be in touch. And since you are interested, I might not be heading off to New York for a little while longer.”

 

“That is well.” Thor nodded in return before closing the door to the sedan a little harder than Natasha would have liked before she did a U-turn and tore off down the street.

 

Thor followed Loki through the gate and up the stairs to the front door.

 

“You should get one of those Loki, they are very convenient, and fast.”

 

Loki turned around as he slot the key into the door, an amused look on his face.

 

“Should I now?”

 

Thor stared back at Loki, somewhat caught off guard.

 

“Uh, perhaps? Although maybe one not as cramped as hers.”

 

At this Loki’s eyes filled with mirth and he laughed gleefully as he turned to push the door wide open.

 

Thor was stupefied at Loki’s reacted, somewhat mesmerised by the sound of his laughter and the pure amusement shining in his eyes. He felt a churning in his stomach and an unsettling fluttering that rooted him to the spot.

 

Loki turned back, as he noticed that Thor wasn’t following him. His eyes narrowing as he saw the odd expression on his once-brother’s face.

 

“Thor?” He called, causing the blonde to jerk suddenly and blinked his eyes back into focus.

 

Thor swallowed before he smiled and spoke.

 

“All is well.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this. I had a bit of writers block.  
> I swear there will be more Thor and Loki interaction will be in the next chapter!  
> XX


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation.

**Empty Souls – Chapter Thirteen**

 

 

_Sucker love is Heaven sent_

_You pucker up, our passion's spent._

_My hearts a tart, your body's rent,_

_My body's broken, yours is bent._

_Carve your name into my arm_

_Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed._

_‘Cause there's nothing else to do_

_Every me and every you._

 

_Sucker love, a box I choose_

_No other box I choose to use._

_Another love I would abuse,_

_No circumstances could excuse._

_In the shape of things to come,_

_Too much poison come undone._

_‘Cause there's nothing else to do_

_Every me and every you_

_Every me and every you,_

_Every me._

_  
_Placebo, _Every You, Every Me._

 

* * *

 

 

Thor stood chest heaving as he watched in dismay as the gateway to the Bifrost thrummed and glowed dangerously. He took a few steps forward but was forced back from the pure force it was emitting.

 

Behind him he heard Loki’s taunts as he took in his brother’s destruction.

 

He turned to where Loki was pinned beneath Mjolnir, writhing and snarling beneath its heavy immovable weight, curses spilling from his mouth.

 

Thor looked back towards the gateway once more, then back to Loki. He strode forward lifting Mjolnir away from its captor and brought it down with a mighty crash onto the glittering Bifrost. He continued swinging his arm as Loki yelled shrieked and yelled behind him.

 

“If you destroy the bridge you’ll never see her again!”

 

As the hammer finally broke through the impact sent the two flying.

 

Thor hit the ground with a hard thud. He groaned as he pushed himself up and found Loki several feet away, glowering at him, face wrought with anger and bloodshot eyes.

 

“You idiot!” Loki hissed.

 

Thor growled before launching at his brother grappling with him until he yet again pinned Loki down with his weapon and he finally gave in. Thor pinned his arms above his head and the two stared at each other, chests heaving from their exertion.

 

“You don’t get it do you!?” Thor exclaimed.

 

“Neither do you! Release me!” Loki shot back, infuriated.

 

Thor continued to stare at Loki in disbelief until he finally went limp in his arms and his lips let out a stifled sob.

 

Thor’s face fell as he watched tears escape his eyes. He transferred his hold of Loki’s wrists to his left hand, and reached out with his right hand gently grazing his thumb across a pale cheek causing Loki to inhale quickly. He refocused his eyes to stare up into Thor’s blue eyes before a pair of lips descended upon his own making him moan wantonly. Thor moaned back as he felt Loki arch up to his touch and ghosted his tongue along his lower lip. Thor released Loki’s hands as he felt more desperate to touch him, feeling Loki’s strong grip in his blonde locks. Loki’s knee moved upwards brushing against his groin making him gasp and break the kiss. He hungrily stared down at his ravished brother before removing Mjolnir from his abdomen, causing Loki to launch upon him, wrapping his long legs about his waist, rubbing their groins together. Their lips sought out each other again as their hands fumbled with their armour, tossing it away with little regard. Thor found Loki’s cock first, causing the brunette to groan and still his hands at the top of Thor’s breeches. He panted as Thor gave it a forceful squeeze. Loki narrowed his eyes as his hands dove beneath the waistband and took Thor in hand, running a thumb along the slit, causing Thor to drop his head on Loki’s shoulder, his touch faltering slightly. Loki breathed heavily in Thor’s ear as his teasing stroke became more forceful, spreading the pre-cum and making his length slick.

 

“Fuck, Thor, touch me.” Loki gasped.

 

Thor began pumping his hand in time to Loki’s strokes, bodies and open mouths grazing against each other.

 

“Thor, Thor I- I” Loki gasped beneath him eyes rolling back in his head as he arched and spilled in the blonde’s hand, the sight causing Thor to come in turn into the brunette’s firms grasp.

 

Thor collapsed against Loki and they breathed heavily against one another. Thor wearily lifted himself onto his hands and knees and stared down at his debauched brother who reached up to stroke his cheek. Thor nuzzled into his palm before descending for a gentle kiss before mumbling against his lips:

 

“Never doubt that I love you.”

 

* * *

 

Thor awoke with a start, face buried in a pillow and gasping for breath. Wide eyed he felt stickiness across his hand where he now held his limp cock and moaned. He rolled over onto his back in the sheets and wiped his seed onto underwear. He giddily sat up and recalled his vivid dream before his scattered thoughts were interrupted with the loud sound of the front door closing. Thor stumbled to his feet and walked to the window, pulling back to drapes to see Loki hurriedly crossing the road wrapped in a trench coat, white cigarette dangling from his lips.

 

Thor felt his stomach drop and released the blinds and walked back to sit  heavily on the bed and dropped his head in his hands.

 

* * *

 

Loki gave a slight huffed as he felt a twinge in his neck. He cracked open his eyes and found that he was in the living room, on the couch. He frowned, and then remembered. For the past few nights he had given Thor his bed in exchange for the couch. He carefully manoeuvred himself around to gradually sit up, blanket slipping to his lap. Loki rubbed his neck. They were definitely going to have to swap back soon.

 

“Damn my hospitality.” He mumbled before getting to his feet.

 

As he ascended the stairs he looked at his closed bedroom door where Thor slept. He paused for a moment before sighing and walking to the bathroom to relieve himself. As he washed him hands he heard Thor’s voice calling his name. He frowned before cupping his hands and throwing water on his face, but then heard Thor call him again, but more forcefully. Loki quickly dried his face with a towel and went to his bedroom door, softly knocking on it.

 

“Thor?” he called.

 

Loki heard a muffled noise from within and carefully turned the handle and opened the door a crack before freezing in place.

 

Loki’s mouth went dry as he took in what he saw. Thor, was writhing on the bed moaning softly, one hand grasped in the white sheets, the other disappeared under the sheet which slipped to his hips, grasped around his cock.

 

Loki’s eyes grew wide as he stared in shock, paralysed by fear a lust as he heard Thor softly groan.

 

“Loki.”

 

Loki gasped and quickly grabbed the door handle and closed the door as softly as he could with shaky hands, hardly believing what he had saw.

 

Suddenly the air was too close, it was too hot. He needed to get out.

 

Loki ran back into the bathroom and pulled a loose long sleeved black and white striped t-shirt a pair a black jeans out of the clothing hamper and pulled them onto his legs before running clumsily down the stairs and pulled on an old pair of socks stuffed into his sneakers and grabbed his jackets and keys before he wrenched the front door open, closing it all too loudly behind him.

 

He reached into his pocket, fingers fumbling and he fond his cigarettes and stuck one into his mouth, quickly lighting it before he all but ran across the road and hurried down the street as his heart beat rapidly through his ribs.

 

* * *

 

Thor stood unmoving under the cool stream of the shower, hands braced against the tiles as he let the water run in rivulets down his back. He frowned as he thought upon the intimate dream, his face growing hot as he thought of how he and Loki writhed in pleasure against each other. He groaned. He could not deny the desire that he felt.

 

Despite his conversation with Natasha he had not pressed Loki on the subject, but now he knew they needed to speak on the subject which they both seemed so desperate to avoid.

 

Thor sighed as he turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel and drying himself as he examined his feelings.

 

There was no doubt that he cared for Loki deeply, that he loved him out of their brotherly bond. A bond, he mourned, that was now devoid; a bond that Loki all but rejected.

 

He could not deny the relief of finding of Loki, of being near him, of how hearing his laugh made his heart soar, that he was successful, unique and attractive…

 

“I love him.”

 

Thor whispered to his reflection.

 

“I want him.”

 

Thor exhaled heavily at his revelation and felt his eyes fill with tears at the thought of all the “could have’s”… what if Loki had not been raised as his brother, what Loki could have been a token of peace through marriage to Thor…

 

But that would have been out of force, he mused, and he knew Loki never took well to following directions.

 

Thor hit his fist on the vanity, cursing loudly, putting a dent in the white veneer.

 

Perhaps their love out of conflict was fate.

 

Thor was decided. They would talk.

 

 

* * *

 

With still wet hair Thor descended the stairs and trudged into the kitchen, only to find that he was not alone.

 

“Coffee? Or are you one of those organic herbal tea people?” asked Natasha, raising an eyebrow.

 

Thor raised both eyebrows in surprise watching as she removed the handle from the coffee machine, bashing out the used granules.

 

“Coffee will be splendid, Lady Natasha.”

 

Thor cautiously rounded the kitchen and sat down at the island in the middle of the room.

 

Natasha cleared her throat.

 

“You’re not jumping on how I happen to be here.”

 

Thor frowned as she placed the coffee in front of him.

 

“You said you were a spy, so I am not too surprised.”

 

“Good. Cause I didn’t want to wait on the doorstep while you were in the shower.”

 

“My apologies.” He murmured.

 

“It’s fine, keeps me on my toes.”

 

Thor nodded in response.

 

“What’s up big guy, you seem a bit out of sorts.”

 

Thor looked up at Natasha’s pointed gaze and as he swallowed a mouthful of hot coffee.

 

“You and Loki still haven’t talked properly.” She all but stated.

 

Thor sighed.

 

“I’m not going to press the matter, but you know where I stand. I’ve known Loki since he’s been on earth and I firmly believe that it’s what you both need to do.”

 

“I’m going to talk to him tonight.” Thor interjected, looking sternly and almost intimidating at Natasha who paused mid sip of her espresso.

 

“Right. Well then, that’s good.”

 

Thor put the cup down and rubbed his forehead with a hand.

 

“I’m sorry, Lady Natasha. I’ve been somewhat troubled. Do not take my own grappling with myself as malice.”

 

“None taken.” She said before frowning.

 

“Where is Loki? I thought he had finished with the DVD footage editing.”

 

Thor hesitated, thinking of how Loki hurriedly had left. Thor’s stomach twisted and he felt his face heat at the thought that Loki had caught him in his erotic dream.

 

“I thought he had too, but he left early this morning before I woke. I know not where he went.”

 

Natasha hummed in response.

 

“Nevermind. I just would have liked to have seen him. He is being a bit skittish with me.”

 

Thor nodded silently and subdued.

 

She gave a hefty sigh.

 

“Anyway. I’m here on business. I’ve brought a bit more of a complex file of the Avengers initiative for you to look over. It’s got a bit more information on it’s other participants and agents.” She said, pulling out a file and handing it to him.

 

“It also contains the contract form, information about wages, responsibilities… the usual.”

 

Thor opened the file and began leafing through the pages looking at the photos of the Midgardians taking in the names and frowning curiously at their aliases Tony Stark aka ‘Iron Man’, Steve Rogers aka ‘Captain America’, Agent Barton aka ‘Hawkeye’, Dr Bruce Banner aka ‘The Hulk’ pausing as he came to Natasha’s file: Natasha Romanov aka ‘Black Widow.’

 

“You are a member of the Avengers?”

“I am indeed.”

 

“You did not divulge this information before.”

 

“I didn’t want to… force you. I wanted to see how much of a willing participant you might be.”

 

Thor looked up at Natasha, a smile catching at his lips.

 

“Clever, although I still would have made the same decision. Midgard is entrusted to me in my protection. If there is any way I can help maintain the safety of this realm, I will.”

 

Natasha smiled in return.

 

“That’s what we like to hear. Although, unfortunately for you, the rest of the team is based in the States, in the country you landed in during your exile, so we’re going to have to fly you over to meet with them. But, that’s a little while off yet.”

 

“That is well.” He acknowledged.

 

Natasha threw back the rest of her coffee and a small blip sounded from her phone. She pulled it from her pocket and frowned at the screen.

 

“Sorry Thor, I’ve gotta go. Director Fury wants a chat.”

 

She stood abruptly, and Thor followed suit and escorted her to the front door.

 

“If you have any queries call me, and send my regards to Loki.“

 

“I will, thank you.”

 

She gave Thor a small smile before

 

“Good luck.” She said, a small smile gracing her features before she turned the doorknob.

 

“Lady Natasha-“

The redhead turned around on the spot.

 

“Yes Thor?”

 

“How did you get in?”

 

Natasha smirked.

 

“The study window was open.”

 

Thor grinned back.

 

* * *

 

Thor brooded around Loki’s flat long after Natasha left and found himself reading one of Loki’s books long into the afternoon.

 

Thor sighed and set the book on the coffee table. He stared out the window seeing sun’s slow descent on the London skyline. His stomach dropped. Had he been reading for that long? And still, Loki had not returned. Thor looked down to where his mobile sat on the table and bit his lip, wondering if he should contact him. He rubbed his temple and his stomach growled. Perhaps he would eat, then see about contacting Loki.

 

Just as Thor had made easy work of making and demolishing several ham, cheese and lettuce sandwiches, he heard the click of the lock on the front door opening. He quickly raised his forearm to his mouth, brushing away any crumbs that had caught in his stubble.

 

Thor silently rounded the kitchen door and saw Loki in the hallway, removing his shoes and slipping off his trench coat, hanging it on the rack. Thor attempted to compose himself, watching the one he dreamt of, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“You’re back.” He stated quietly.

 

Loki, seemingly lost in his own thoughts started unaware of Thor’s presence, eyes briefly flicking to Thor’s.

 

“I was starting to get worried. Where were you?”

 

“Must you need know of everything I do?” He rebutted.

 

Thor frowned.

 

“I was merely concerned.”

 

“You shouldn’t worry about me.” Loki muttered before ascending the stairs.

 

“Where are you going? Have you eaten?” Thor called after him, but Loki did not answer, instead Thor heard the bathroom door closing and the soft muffled sound of running water.

 

Loki emerged sometime later, clad in loose black pants and a thin white t-shirt. His freshly washed and dried hair framing his face. He found Thor on the couch reading one of his novels. Loki paused hesitantly at the threshold of the living room, quietly regarding the blonde.

 

“What are you reading?” he queried.

 

Thor quickly turned to face Loki and placed the book down.

 

“ _Orlando_ by Virginia Woolf. It is quite intriguing.”

 

Loki raised his eyebrows pleasantly surprised.

 

“It is indeed.”

 

Loki hesitated gazing at Thor before turning to leave.

 

“Loki, I would speak with you.” Thor entreated.

 

Loki sighed, knowing what that tone of voice meant, shoulders sagging slightly before he turned to face Thor. His regarded the blonde hesitantly, his stomach twisting as images of him masturbating in a dream state flashed through his mind. He willed himself to remain blank as he watched Thor nervously rise from where he sat to stand in front of him.

 

“We haven’t spoken… of your feelings. At what you revealed in your diaries. How you feel about me.” Thor said, somewhat bashful.

 

“How I feel?”

 

Loki laughed bitterly and his whole body seemed to shake with a nervous electric energy. Thor watched as the brunette’s demeanour quickly changed.

 

"How I feel?!" Loki exclaimed.

 

"You know how I feel. That why I led you to my diaries with that blasted key you wear around your neck like a love token!" he hissed eyes shooting to the chain peaking around his neck from underneath his t-shirt.

 

"Isn't that what it is?" Thor challenged.

 

Loki paled.

 

"Give it back." Came is soft wavering voice.

 

Thor stood immobile and Loki's eyes flashed dangerously.

 

"Give it back!" Loki spat.

 

"No!" Thor retaliated.

 

Loki lashed out at Thor and the two grappled. Thor threw Loki off harder than he would have liked to, sending him smashing into a wall with an audible crack that made Thor wince.

 

Loki glared at him seething and wide eyed, his chest heaving.

 

"I don't want to fight you!" Thor choked, pleading to him. 

 

The two stared long at each other, their breathing punctuating the silence before the brunette gave a strangled groan and slid down the wall, revealing a long crack in the plaster. He curled up, his arms encircling his legs, his long ebony hair splaying across his face.

 

"I don't either." Loki mumbled defeatedly.

 

He gave a deep exhale before he gradually raised his head. His face was unguarded as he spoke:

 

"What would you have me say Thor?" He murmured.

 

Thor eyes brightened slightly, encouraged at his compliance.  He leant against the wall opposite Loki and spoke:

 

"Tell me how you feel, of your heart."

 

"You mean of my attraction to you?" Loki confirmed clinically.

 

Thor swallowed hesitantly and clenched his fists slightly, noticing how clammy they had become.

 

"Y-yes." He stuttered.

 

Loki gave a laugh before staring hard at Thor, making him nearly gasp at its intensity.

 

"You read about it." He stated bluntly.

 

"I... I would like to hear you speak of it in person. Please Loki."

 

Loki gave another bitter scoff.

 

"I will dig my own grave, but if you insist.”

 

“Please, Loki” Thor encouraged.

 

Loki sighed and crossed his arms over his knees, avoiding Thor's gaze. Tumult was evident in his eyes as he eventually spoke.

 

"I've always loved you, in one way or another. You made me feel safe and wanted when I was a child. Even though we fought you always saw value in me. I always felt _so_ proud of you, despite your faults – almost too proud. When my body began to change I had strange feelings. I learnt that I felt sexually attracted to both males and females. I was ashamed enough of that, that it was not fitting for a prince."

 

Loki paused and seemed to falter. 

 

"As I began to mature I... I began to have dreams and fantasies of a sexual nature as one does. You often appeared in my dreams. I could no longer deny the desire and attraction I felt towards you. I wanted to distance myself from you as much as I could. I never wanted you to know, to know how I would look to you fully fledged into manhood whilst I would always be in your shadow aching with want. I was disgusted with myself that I let myself feel this way. Even when I lay with others on Asgard, and here my thoughts returned to you. I couldn’t purge these feelings."

 

As he spoke his force contorted into one of rage and self-loathing and as he sat with his arms folded, his nails dug into his skin. 

 

"I pushed away my desires and attempted to function the best I could by your side. When I discovered of my true parentage I was utterly devastated, yet a small part was relieved. I thought that this was the reason why I harboured such an unnatural love to the one I called 'brother'."

 

Loki looked up at Thor who stood slumped limply against the opposite wall. His face mournful and eyes full of tears as he heard Loki utter their former bond. Loki’s eyes regarded Thor’s

 

"Please don't pity me." He mumbled.

 

"I do not pity you. I merely grieve for the pain you endured. I wish I could have helped bear your pain."

 

A ghost of a smile swiped across his face as he tore his gaze away. 

 

"I wished the same... but I was a fool. In my madness all I wished to do was bar you from my life even though I was so desperate to have you by my side. With the power I then had, I saw an opportunity to distance us. I wanted you to hate me."

 

Loki wiped hastily at his eyes.

 

"Why did you kill Laufey?"

 

Loki's face went blank, a dark anger simmering in his being. 

 

"I went to him and he put two ad two together and realised that I was his bastard runt of a son that he abandoned. He said he thought that I was dead and that Odin should have never taken me. He said that if it was left to him he would have killed me, or left me in the temple to die." He scathed, tipping his head back against the wall with a soft thud.

 

"It is a great thing to feel completely unwanted even by your own kind. I would have been a mockery of the Jotunn crown." He said, voice dripping with self-loathing.

 

"Loki, you are not unwanted." Thor interjected.

 

Loki chose ignored him and continued:

 

"I despaired. A delusional part if me thought that I had a legitimate chance of being intimate with you, now that I knew that we were not of the same blood. But then I feared your rage and hate of the frost giants and thought _how could you ever accept or love me_. My fear turned into hate. When you returned from your exile I wanted you to hurt me so badly, to kill me and erase my pain. When we clung from the Bifrost I feared you. I feared myself. I couldn't bear how you could look at me knowing the truth, and how I could continue wanting you if you despised me!" Loki gasped and his body seemed to convulse as he wept. 

 

“Loki, I could never despise you. Nor would I ever disown you. You have always had my love and always will."

 

Loki shook his head at his words, refusing to look at Thor as he spoke.

 

"Get out Thor! Leave me." He cried weakly.

 

"No." Came his own soft reply.

 

Thor pushed himself off the wall and stepped forward, dropping to his knees before Loki who recoiled at the sudden movement. He kept his head down, unwilling to look Thor. Hesitantly he reached out to the raven head, placing gentle fingers under his chin, coaxing Loki to look at him. When he gradually tilted his head up, he took in the raw and unguarded expression gracing his face. As he pushed his ebony tresses aside and stroked his cheek with his thumb Loki seemed to tremble and froze as Thor closed the gap between then and touched his lips against Loki's. After the initial shock Loki shifted slightly angling his head to return the kiss, a hand hesitantly coming to rest on Thor’s forearm while another found its way into his blonde mane. Thor felt warmth blossoming from his chest as the kiss deepened, feeling the warm wet trace of Loki's tongue along his lower lip and grasped one of Loki's hands, and brought it to his chest, covering it with a large one of his own over the key that thrummed, hanging around his neck. 

 

Loki suddenly flinched and pushed Thor back hissing.

 

"Get out Thor!"

 

Thor looked back in disbelief.

 

"No!"

 

Loki scrambled to his feet and Thor quickly followed suit. They both circled each other.

 

"How dare you mock me!" Loki cried, teeth bared and tears spilling from his eyes. 

 

Thor's pleading eyes widened.

 

"Mock you?"

 

Loki opened his mouth to speak again, but Thor was too quick, his body connecting with Loki's before pinning him to the wall. The brunette gave a cry of surprise as his wrists were clamped above his head by Thor's grasp. Loki's head hung low.

 

"I don't want to fight you!" Thor cried.

 

"But maybe I do." He mumbled before raising his head.

 

His eyes alight with fire, the green irises so vibrant against the dimming red.

 

"You're forcing yourself to desire me for the sake if my sanity. It's humiliating!" He snarled, before yet again shifting his gaze to the floor.

 

"Is it so hard to believe that I would return your love?!" Thor cried desperately, quickly losing his composure. 

 

He heaved and felt hot tears fall onto his cheeks.

 

"Loki, Loki look at me!" Came his low and wavering plea.

 

Loki gave a choked sob causing Thor to release his wrists and cup the brunette's face with his hands. Loki timidly complied allowing the blonde to tilt his head to look directly at him.

 

Loki's face fell at the desperate intensity that was awash Thor's features. 

 

"You know that I am a terrible liar." He said determinedly.

 

"I _want_ you, I _need_ you."

 

They both stood silently. Loki cautiously taking in Thor's confession. The blonde felt scared to breathe at he observed his once-brother; the fear that graced his furrowed brow, and the apprehension that he held in biting his lower lip.

 

"I'm a monster, Thor." He said quietly, closing his eyes in defeat.

 

"Then you're my beloved monster."

 

Loki looked up quickly, a small spark of hope wavering in his glassy eyes. 

 

"I've always been yours."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY.   
> 'Every You, Every Me' is from Placebo's 1998 album 'Without You, I'm Nothing'  
> Watch it here: http://youtu.be/-CcDgLTCCQI  
> Feedback keeps me happy knowing you're happy and enjoying this fic.  
> Thanks for reading x


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**_Empty Souls – Chapter Fourteen_ **

_Sucker love is known to swing._   
_Prone to cling and waste these things._   
_Pucker up for heavens sake._   
_There's never been so much at stake._   
  
_I serve my head up on a plate._   
_It's only comfort, calling late._   
_Cause there's nothing else to do,_   
_Every me and every you._   
_Every me and every you,_   
_Every Me._   
  
_Like the naked leads the blind,_   
_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind._   
_Sucker love I always find_   
_Someone to bruise and leave behind._   
  
_All alone in space and time,_   
_There's nothing here but what here's mine._   
_Something borrowed, something blue._   
_Every me and every you._   
_Every me and every you,_   
_Every Me._

Placebo, _Every You, Every Me._

 

* * *

 

 

Loki's eyes cracked open and took in the light dancing through the opaque blinds. He gave a small groan and rolled over, his breath hitching as he took in Thor's figure, his blonde mop of hair splayed partially across his face and spilling onto the pillow. A wave of panic hit Loki in the gut as he recalled the previous nights events. Their confessions. He took several deep breaths to calm himself, willing his body to relax. Once his panic subsided he lay as watched Thor as he slept, snoring lightly, one arm tucked under a pillow, the other at his side. Loki swallowed as his eyes traced the line of his muscular arm as the naked skin disappeared underneath his t-shirt. He bit his lip. Oh, how he desperately wanted to touch him, skin against skin. 

 

He raised a long fingered hand and gently touched his hair. He moved stray strands to reveal Thor's peacefully relaxed face, before gently trailing fingertips down his strong, angular jaw.

 

 _'How can this be, how could I be given such a grace?'_ Loki thought to himself.

 

He felt tears gather in his eyes. 

 

Thor moved slightly and his eyes flickered opened, causing Loki to freeze. Thor blinked into focus, and felt Loki's cool hand on his face, and saw the flush across his pale cheekbones. Embarrassed, Loki went to withdraw his hand, but Thor quickly shook off his sleep and caught it, bringing it to his mouth in a kiss. Loki's lips parted in surprise as Thor's now awake oceanic eyes bore into his own, adoration radiating from his gaze. Loki's hesitant eyes dropped into dark pools of desire and he cautiously moved close to Thor, before gently claiming his lips with his own.

 

Thor instinctively placed a hand on Loki’s side feeling him gently vibrating. As he eased his grazing lips into the kiss he eagerly pulled Loki onto him and drew his long limbs down into a close embrace. Loki kissed him deeply and moaned as Thor slipped one hand to the nape of his neck, and the other to his hip. Loki slipped a leg between Thor's thighs, grazing his crotch, sending a tremor if hot desire through his muscular body. Suddenly Loki ended the kiss and raised himself onto his hands and knees, peering down at the blonde with slightly kiss swollen lips. Thor saw an uncertainty flash across his features as he trailed a hand along his own stubbed cheek, studying him intently. He caught Loki’s eyes with his own.

 

"Loki" he croaked.

 

"Loki, I haven't been with another man."

 

Green eyes regarded him carefully.

 

"I had guessed." Loki mused, a slight huskiness to his voice.

 

He swallowed and spoke.

 

"I won’t make you do anything that would make you uncomfortable. But I would like to touch you..."

 

Thor's eyes darkened at the barely contained tremor of arousal in Loki's voice, resulting in him dragging Loki down for a kiss, his tongue seeking entry into a slightly smirking mouth. Loki parted his lips, his tongue meeting Thor’s, humming as they wetly grazed and teased against each other.

 

Loki’s deft hands found themselves at the hem of Thor’s shirt. He hesitantly broke his lips from Thor’s, breathing heavily as he urged the blonde up to remove his shirt. Loki bit his lip as he trailed his fingers over Thor’s chest, eyes snapping up to Thor’s as he massaged his pectoral muscles, before he slowly made his way down to the blonde’s abdomen. Thor groaned and stilled Loki’s roaming hands with one of his own before he sat up and pulled off Loki’s thin t-shirt, and lathed his tongue over the expanse of Loki’s chest, pausing to gently nip of Loki’s left nipple, causing him to cry out in surprise and desire. Loki gently pushed Thor down into the mattress, shuddering as air hit the saliva. He dipped his head down to the blonde’s chest, kissing down the expanse of skin until he came to the waistband of his jeans.

 

Loki roughly trailed his fingers across the denim fabric that covered his crotch, feeling the swell that grew under his hand. Loki raised gaze to Thor who groaned at the fleeting touch, before locking his eyes hotly with him. Loki kept his eyes on the blonde as best as he could as his fingers slipped open the button and undid the zip before he raised himself off the bed to pull the pants down and off his legs. Thor raised himself onto his elbows as he watched Loki strip him, swallowing as he hooked his fingers onto his underwear dragged them off. Thor felt his breathe hitch in anticipation as Loki hovered over him, raking his fingers teasingly along his thighs until they came to rest upon his engorged cock. Thor groaned as Loki’s hand curled around his length, stroking slowly, but firmly up and down. Green eyes shot up to Thor’s blue ones as Loki slid his index finger over the head of his penis, teasing the slit sending a tremor through the blonde’s frame. Loki smirked as Thor’s eyes widened before he moved up his naked body to kiss his deeply, whilst continuing to stroke Thor in earnest. Thor’s hands returned to the body above him. Loki moaned as Thor’s tongue massaged against his own and reflexively bucked as one of his large hands ran over his backside. Loki broke the kiss and stared down at Thor, marvelling at the flush of arousal across his cheeks. Suddenly Thor ground his hip against Loki’s crotch against the straining hard length contained within his loose black pants.

 

“Ah!” Loki gasped, dropping his head to Thor’s shoulder, his hand momentarily stilling on the Thunderer ‘s cock.

 

Loki inhaled sharply as Thor purposely moved his knee up to his crotch again, resulting in another groan slipping from the hip lips. Thor swallowed and moved a hand down to the waistband of Loki’s pants and slipped under the material and tentatively stroked over his hips to the skin of his rear. Loki gave a soft moan before re-attaching his lips to the blonde’s and placed a hand on Thor’s roaming one gently pulling it into retreat. Thor frowned and gave a questioning grunt at Loki’s actions as their kiss broke.

 

“Please.” Loki murmered softly against his lips.

 

“Just let me touch you, let me love you, for now.” He continued, a waver cutting through his normally smooth voice.

 

Thor gazed up into the pleading gaze, mouth slightly agape before he stumbled over his words:

 

“Loki, I want to touch you.”

 

Loki withdrew both his hands and placed them at either side of his face, framing the strong jaw, shaking slightly.

 

“Please Thor, let me do this first.” Loki rasped.

 

Thor stared into Loki’s impossibly wide and aroused eyes as they bore longingly into his. He inhaled sharply at the intensity before he gave a slight nod of his head before he tangled his hands into Loki’s dark hair and kissed him, before he descended down his chest, laving kisses as he went.

 

Thor groaned as he felt Loki’s cool hands press down onto his hips and cried out as Loki’s wet mouth closed around the head of his penis. Loki’s hands pushed down more firmly as Thor’s hips reflexively stuttered to the sensation. A strong tongue swirled around the hard flesh and traced along the vein on the underside of his cock. With a soft smack of his lips cold air suddenly surrounded him, causing Thor to jerk up abruptly and look at Loki. He gave Thor a smouldering look as he got to his feet and suddenly grabbed hold of Thor’s legs and jerked him down so that his knees fell over the side of the bed. Thor sat up as Loki kneeled on top of him joining their lips, moaning as their tongues tangled.

 

Thor made a noise of disappointment as those soft but firm lips left his, only for it to turn into a loud groan of pleasure as Loki fell to his knees and took his cock fully into his mouth. Feeling the gentle pressure of Loki’s  hand against his chest Thor eased himself to lie down and fisted his hands in the sheets as tongue and lips moved along his arousal. As Loki’s tongue slid across the slit again Thor convulsed and he felt Loki’s lips smile around him. Then one hand went to pump the base of his cock, whilst the other gently stroked along the sensitive skin of his perineum. This caused him to give a deep guttural moan that went straight to Loki’s cock making him moan in return. The vibration urged Thor closer to his climax, and as Loki again took his cock deep into his mouth and swallowed, Thor began convulsing and came with a violent shudder.

 

As he came down from his high he could hear Loki panting lightly, his hands massaging his thighs. The bed dipped slightly as Loki clambered on top of Thor and stared down and took in his dishevelled form- his mouth agape and golden hair splayed. Thor’s eyes flickered open as he felt the weight of Loki’s body on him and reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. As he tasted himself on Loki’s tongue he pulled Loki’s body flush to his, causing Loki to grunt in surprise and desire as his cock rubbed against Thor’s hip. The blonde flipped their positions, pulling them up the expanse of the bed and stared down at the pale figure. Loki swallowed uncertainly before looking Thor dead in the eyes.

 

“You don’t have to reciprocate if you’re not ready.” He admitted in a soft raw voice.

 

Thor stared at his lover somewhat perplexed.

 

“Loki-“

 

“You don’t have to Thor. I don’t expect -”

 

“Loki I want to.” Thor murmured dropping kisses along the side of his pale face and down to his jaw.

 

“Thor-“ Loki entreated, but was abruptly cut off as Thor silenced his words with his mouth.

 

Thor kneeled above him, and reached down, breaking the kiss to drag Loki’s pants and underwear off his hips, and brought a tentative hand to his cock, gently wrapping a large hand around its base before pulling up to the leaking tip, wet with precome. Loki’s breath hitched as battle roughened fingers spread the wetness around his length and gave an approving moan as Thor began to stroke him firmly. Loki keened softly as the hand he so longed for pleasured him, one arm flung over his head, grappling into the sheets, the other desperately searching for Thor’s body, wanting to touch his lightly tanned skin. Thor found himself mesmerised at the body underneath him, so pliant to his touch as his hand pumped the wet velvet length. Loki’s eyes were slits, dark lashes fluttering and crimson flushing across his cheeks and down his neck. He saw Loki’s hand reach down to him, skimming his thigh and clasped it with his free hand before clambering over him and leaning down to kiss parted lips. A tongue ran across Thor’s lower lips and across his teeth before the blonde gently nipped at Loki’s lower lip eliciting a groan. Thor moved back slightly and peered intently at his lover.

 

“Is this okay?” he asked in a husky whisper.

 

“Oh, oh yes.” The brunette moaned as Thor ran his thumb along the underside of his cock to the base before reaching further to ghost over his perineum.

 

Loki cracked his eyes open, breath hitching slightly as he found Thor staring intently at him, watching Loki’s reactions to his touch. Thor gave a small laugh as he was eagerly pulled down by cool strong hands before Loki desperately kissed him in a hot open mouthed kiss. As Loki pulled Thor down he felt his re-awakening cock, grazing semi-hard against his thigh. Humming in approval he reached down to gasp it in his hand causing Thor to gasp into his mouth. Loki drew back slightly, their lips still grazing against each other as he began to stroke Thor’s thick cock in time with the hand around his own.

 

Loki’s voice broke as he tried to speak.

 

“So long, I’ve wanted this for so long.” He croaked, eyes pricking with the intensity of his emotion.

 

Thor pulled back and looked down and took in the torn expression which swept across flushed features, and tears that escaped from wide blown green eyes.  He felt a pang in his chest and let his head drop down and nuzzle against the side of Loki’s face.

 

“I know, I know. I’m here now.” He murmured.

 

They panted as they stroked each other lost in each other’s passion, hot pleasure kindling them towards climax. Loki’s free hand grasped onto Thor’s shoulder as he felt orgasm pool from deep within him, arching off the back as he came with a silent cry, spilling over his hand. As he did Thor removed Loki’s stilling hand from his penis replacing it with his own as Loki’s eyes rolled back in his head and his body collapsed. Taking in the pale figure writhing in orgasm sent him over the edge, and with a few strokes of his hand he came with a groan.

 

Thor half collapsed down next to the brunette as waves of pleasure rippled through his body. As his breathing returned to a steady pace he felt hesitant fingers combing through his hair, gently moving it out of his face. Loki lay next to him and stared wide eyed and apprehensive, teeth worrying his lower lip.

 

“Thor?”

 

Thor quickly moved over to him, framing the pale face with his hands and kissing him soundly until they were breathless, tasting the slight salt of spilt tears.

 

“No more questions. Just be here now, with me.”

 

Relief spread across Loki’s features and he swallowed and gave a slight nod before burrowing his face into the crook of Thor’s neck.

 

“I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaand sex.
> 
> I know I'm always apologising for the amount of time between chapters.  
> I always have impeccable timing when it comes to moving house and having mental breakdowns.
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated and loved.
> 
> xx


	15. Chapter 15

**Empty Souls – Chapter Fifteen**

 

_Dream brother, my killer, my lover._

Placebo, ‘Battle For The Sun’

 

* * *

 

Thor walked to the bedroom towel drying his wet hair, staring at the sleeping figure sprawled across the bed. His eyes trailed up a graceful arch of a foot, and up long lean legs and to slightly jutting hip bones. He swallowed as his eyes rest momentarily at the flaccid penis half hidden from his sight surrounded by short dark curls.

 

Strands of inky dark hair fell over Loki's pale shoulder and across his face. Thor's eyes brightened as his gaze rested upon Loki's relaxed face. He looked blissfully young and carefree. He smiled, watching him and he slipped on a pair of underwear before walking over to the bed and sitting down carefully. Loki exhaled lightly, the shift of weight shaking him from his sleep. Loki rolled over from his side onto his back. Thor followed his movements, leaning over him, watching how Loki in his sleep hazy mind unconsciously bared his body. Thor raked his gaze over Loki's torso before dipping down to place a kiss on his sternum, slowly trailing his way up to his pale neck, looking up to see Loki's eyes flutter open. 

 

"M-Thor?" Came his soft dry voice. 

 

Thor propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at Loki's now open eyes, giving them his full attention. As the green spheres came into focus his peaceful demeanor dropped giving way to slanting eyebrows. As Thor saw this change sweep across his features he quickly dipped his head down to kiss Loki soundly on the lips. The brunette exhaled through his nostrils in surprise as he found full and slightly roughened lips upon his. As Thor pulled back he could see a small smile tugging at Loki’s lips. A long fingered hand wove up into the wet strands of his hair. 

 

“You showered.” Loki sated. 

 

Thor hummed in response before dipping his head down to trail his lips along the pale skin over his breast bone, experimentally nipping at his skin.

 

“I should also – ah” Loki stalled at the sensation.

 

Thor moved his lips up to Loki’s neck and experimentally mouthed over his adam’s apple, running his tongue over the bump, feeling it move as Loki swallowed.  He glanced up to see Lokis lips parted and his eyes fluttered shut before moving to the side of his neck.

 

“Thor.” He half moaned, bringing a hand to stroke along one of the other’s forearms. 

 

“I should get up.” He continued.

 

“But you seem to be enjoying this.” The blonde murmured in reply as he nipped gently at the skin causing the man under him to moan. 

 

“I do, too much.” He replied brokenly as Thor continued his ministrations.

 

Loki felt as though was melting into the mattress as Thor nipped and laved his neck with tongue and teeth. He clutched one hand into the blonde’s damp locks as the other stroked down the smooth muscled back.

 

“Harder.” Loki rasped huskily.

 

“Bite me harder.”

 

Thor paused momentarily before running his tongue along the shell of Loki’s ear, making him shudder before he returned to his pale neck biting and sucking with more force.

 

Loki cried out and moaned, his fingers digging into Thor’s skin.

 

As Thor moved his ministrations along the pale neck he felt the body underneath him arching off the bed into his touch and felt Loki’s hardening penis nudge against his thigh. He withdrew from his neck before joining his lips with Loki’s, giving a small moan of approved as Loki all but thrust his tongue into his mouth, sliding it against his own slick muscle. As their mouths passionately clashed they ground against each other, Loki hooking one leg about Thor's waist, causing his cock to rub more forcefully against the other’s thigh. Thor broke away from Loki’s lips as he reached down to take the man’s hard penis in his hand which leaked profusely with precome. Loki gave a drawn out moan as Thor spread the precome along his length and stroked him firmly and slowly. 

 

Loki gasped as he felt Thor’s hot mouth breathing into his left ear, licking along the shell making him shudder.

 

“You’re so hard.” Thor murmured squeezing Loki’s cock gently, causing Loki to groan.

 

“And wet.” He continued, sucking the top of his ear causing the brunette to cry out loudly.

 

“I know” he replied brokenly, his voice heavy and husky with arousal. 

 

Their sparse conversation dissipated as Thor pumped his length.

 

Loki came hard in his hand with a keening cry, paralysed with pleasure as Thor forcefully suckled his neck.

 

As he recovered Loki raised himself onto his elbows and looked to where Thor lay on his side, staring intently at him. A flush spread across his cheeks as he took in his come across his thighs and watched as Thor trailed his fingers through the stickiness before bending over to lick traces of his come from his cock. Loki’s eyes rolled back in his head and he gave a choked cry at the over-stimulation before Thor moved to lick at his thighs, before clambering up the pale, oversensitive body. As Thor hovered above him, eyes slightly raised, Loki gave a small growl before dragging the blonde down to his lips, tasting the saltiness of his come on Thor’s lips. As he drew back his right hand trailed down to Thor’s crotch to grasp his hard length through the fabric of his underwear.

 

“Shower, now.” He growled against his smiling lips.

 

* * *

 

They emerged from the bathroom once the hot water had run out - Loki all but pushing a very sated Thor out of the bathroom as he set about preening himself.

 

Thor pulled on a new pair of underwear and dragged on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before going to loiter at the bathroom door gazing appreciatively at the towel slung low about Loki’s hips. Loki turned from the mirror to face him and sauntered over to Thor, making him swallow. Loki’s face shifted, his alluring confidence making way to apprehension and nervousness. He raised his hands to Thor’s chest running them over the fabric covering his skin. He eyes flickered up to Thor’s. The blonde quipped his head and frowned, raising a hand to cup the other’s cheek. 

 

“All is well.” Thor rumbled.

 

Loki’s gaze bore into his.

 

“I am glad.” He said softly in return.

 

Thor ran a thumb over a high cheekbone as they stared intently at one another before pushing Loki’s wet hair aside to view the dark marks on Loki’s pale neck. He gently ran a finger over the blooming bruises.

 

“I was not too hard? You enjoyed this?” he questioned.

 

The raven reached for Thor’s wrist, slightly cool fingers grasping and withdrawing it from his marred skin. As he withdrew his hand, Thor let his arm drop to his side and watched as Loki stepped around him and walked across to the bedroom.

 

“Was my wantonness not any indicator?” Loki retorted.

 

Thor followed Loki into the bedroom, but chose hang back at its entrance as he watched Loki open his wardrobe and retrieve clothes.

 

“I merely wanted to ensure that you are well... that is was... satisfactory” Thor mused

 

Loki dropped the towel that hung about his hips and threw it onto the bed before slipping on a pair of black underwear and tight dark grey jeans.

 

Thor sat and stared at Loki as he continued dressing, tossing a loose black long sleeved shirt over his head.

Thor frowned as Loki remained silent.

 

He got to his feet and stood behind Loki, placing his hands on his hips, urging him to turn to face him. Loki sighed and complied with Thor’s touch and found himself staring into Thor’s concerned features. Loki remained silent and opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find words. Thor watched as as the gears turned in the raven’s mind, as he again raised a hand to his cheek and rsn his thumb down across his lower lip. Loki sighed and closed his eyes at the gesture. Thor smiled as he watched him relax under his touch.

 

“It is possible that I have subdued your silver tongue?” Thor questioned, mirth in his eyes.

 

‘Hardly,” he scoffed, eyes shooting open and narrowing mischievously.

 

Thor tilted his head inquisitively to the side and Loki idly splayed his fingers across his chest before looking coyly at the blonde. Thor’s mouth widened into a smile, showing a glimpse of white teeth. Encouraged by Loki’s playfulness he continued:

 

“Or has it merely been put to a better use?” Thor provoked.

 

Loki’s eyes enflamed and suddenly Thor was pushed back against the wardrobe. Thor looked challengingly at the raven, watching the mingling dark mirth and desire dancing in his green eyes.

 

“Oh, has it?” Loki goaded softly.

 

Thor licked his bottom lip.

 

“You are talented, lover.” He all but purred.

 

Loki’s hands curled into the material of Thor’s shirt at his words, feeling his voice reverberating through his chest. His breath hitched, taking in the word _lover_ , replacing the word he so despised -  _brother_.

 

The two stared continued to stare at each other. The electricity of their desire heavy in the air. Loki broke the silence with a groan before gently resting his forehead to Thor’s and sighing.

 

“You undo me.” He whispered, nuzzling against the side of Thor’s face.

 

The blonde’s eye pricked at the intimate gesture, and tangled one hand in Loki’s damp hair, the other encircling Loki’s waist, pulling him close.

 

“As do you. I never realized how much I need you.”

 

Loki regarded Thor carefully.

 

“I’ve always needed you.” Loki admitted quietly.

 

He remained dormant for a moment before laughing softly to himself, causing Thor to frown before a bittersweet look tore at his pale angular features.

 

Loki trailed his fingers down the side of Thor’s face and he mused quietly:

 

“ _‘Dream brother, my killer, my lover.’_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you say slow burn?  
> Sassy as fuck video of 'Battle For The Sun': http://youtu.be/IH_5jm3Yg8s


	16. Chapter 16

**Empty Souls – Chapter Sixteen**

*** * ***

 

 

“Fuck!” Loki swore to himself.

 

Thor rounded the corner to where Loki stood in the hallway at the foot of the stairs, staring at his mobile phone.

 

“What’s wrong?” Thor called from upstairs.

 

“Fuck…” Loki muttered to himself again.

 

“Loki?”

 

Loki glanced up quickly as he heard heavy footsteps descending the stairs, giving way to the Thor’s frowning face, before averting his attention to his mobile, hastily tapping away at the screen.

 

“Ah, Eva and Stefan have been trying to get in contact with me… Natasha as well. I’m surprised that the haven’t attempted to let themselves in.” He muttered, a faint red stain on his cheeks.

 

Thor guiltily stood watching as Loki flustering.

 

“Eva?” Thor queried.

 

“Ah, my … well our manager for the band. We were supposed to arrange a meeting to decide upon… Oh, how am I supposed to explain this to you!” Came Loki’s exasperated reply.

 

“You could try Loki, you know that I have lived in this world before.”

 

The brunette closed his eyes momentarily and gave a shaky sigh as he raked a hand through his hair.

 

“I know Thor, _I know_.” He said quietly before sweeping past the blonde who caught him by the elbow holding him still in his tracks.

 

Loki’s shot a glare at Thor, who remained stoic, staring at him resolutely.

 

“I am sorry Loki, I have been a… distraction.”

 

Loki stared long at Thor, feeling his skin burn through the fabric of his shirt from where his large roughened hand held him. Gradually his initial anger dissipated and he turned his head away from Thor and to the floor.

 

“I am a little overwhelmed.” He admitted quietly.

 

Thor moved closer to Loki, taking hold of him with his other hand, making Loki raise his head and look at the blonde straight into cerulean blue eyes. Thor silently rejoiced at Loki’s vulnerability; at his unguarded openness.

 

“Let me aid you.”

*** * ***

 

_N: I leave London in two days._

_N: So I’m guessing that you’re choosing to either ignore me, or that you’ve spent the last 48 hours shagging Thor._

_L: It was the later._

_N: I’m just going to pretend that I’m not sitting here with a big grin on my face._

_L: Please stop._

_N: Can’t I be happy for you? So do I get to see you before I jet off?_

_L: Don’t get sentimental with me. The Abercrombie, noon._

* * *

 

Thor walked alongside Loki taking in the sights, observing the locals as they travelled along the sidewalk. He was curious as to how they differed from the people he encountered last time he ‘visited’ Midgard. Indeed the climate was far cooler, it was not as sunny, but the city was beautiful and intriguing in its own way. The more he observed and mused, the realised more and more why Loki was drawn to the place. Often Thor stopped to look at a shop window, or read signs, only to find that Loki kept striding, cigarette dangling in his mouth. Luckily Loki’s raven tresses and height was unmistakable in a crowd and Thor was able to quickly catch up to him. When he did, Loki merely smiled to himself.

 

As they rounded a corner Thor gaze flicked to the opposite side of the road as he curiously noticed two men holding hands, laughing affectionately. One had mid-length hair, blonde like his, and was quite tall and well muscled; the other was slightly shorter and leaner with a head full of unruly copper curls. Thor stalled and watched the two as they paused in the street to kiss, making Thor smile. As they parted the slighter man stopped abruptly as he realised he and his partner were being watched. His partner continued to talk to him, oblivious that they were being watched and took the other’s hand to playfully pull him along. The other continued to stare at Thor, smiling curiously at him before he and the other blonde disappeared around the corner.

 

Thor looked back ahead and saw that Loki had stopped and was staring at him in amusement. Thor quickly strode up to him and Loki turned on his heel and they continued walking.

 

Thor kept shooting sideways glances to Loki, before reaching out to grasp a long fingered hand in his own, mimicking the couple’s hold. Loki seemed to jump at the initial contact, and let his hand remain limp in Thor’s grasp, before his fingers curled around his broad hand. Thor felt a pleasant tickling in his stomach and relished in a few smiles he saw several individuals casting at them as they walked.

 

“How much further?” Thor asked.

 

“Not far.” Loki said, sneaking a look at Thor, briefly letting his eyes rest downwards upon their joined hands. Thor noticed this, and gave Loki’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

 

Loki cleared his throat.

 

“I never thought you would be interested in males... not that I am in any way an ideal specimen.” He mused.

 

Thor frowned.

 

“I never truly examined myself.” He considered carefully.

 

He paused momentarily before continuing.

 

“You are truly the most beautiful male I have encountered.”

 

Loki’s eyebrows shot up then narrowed. Thor watched as shock and adoration mingled in his eyes.

 

Loki gave a short laugh.

 

“Flattery!” He exclaimed.

 

Thor frowned, and Loki caught a shadow of hurt in the blonde’s eyes.

 

“Even when I am brimming with terrible anger and hate.” Loki challenged morosely.

 

Thor raised an eyebrow.

 

“You are terribly comely and if I must suffer, I will willingly.”

 

Loki raised his eyes in surprise and Thor smiled at the affection shining through his eyes.

 

“You fool.” He said quietly, turning on his heel.

 

Thor quickly caught a hold of Loki’s waist and pulled him forcefully yet playfully close to him. Loki’s eyes widened in shock and flickered around them.

 

“Thor!” he hissed in annoyance, yet was unable to prevent a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

 

“Your fool.” He uttered quietly before gently brushing their lips together.

 

A loud wolf whistle caused Loki to jump and place his hands up to Thor’s chest, gently pushing himself away. A red flush travelled up Loki’s neck and cheeks as Mark stood loitering on the sidewalk, grinning wolfishly at them, flanked by Eva who was pre-occupied on her mobile, and Stefan who seemed embarrassed himself at them catching the two together.

 

Loki gave an indignant huff at Thor, who merely grinned at him as he stalked over to the others.

 

Thor remained silent as he watched the four of them pour over photographs and design briefs for their live DVD.  A faint mummer ran through the largely empty pub, furnished with dark wood, dark green tartan carpet, and beaten metal furnishings holding small candles, casting a soft warm glow.

 

His eyes returned to Loki as he pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes as he proclaimed a design to be ‘too tacky’, ‘too metal looking’, or ‘too plain’. His eyes would flick up from his thoughts to see Thor’s intent gaze on him, making his stomach flip and his hand reach out to sip at his cider. Thor gazed through a window outside. It was a beautiful day, with the sun battling to clamber through the light grey clouds. When it did Thor watched how it danced across Loki’s features and cast a soft warm glow across his cheeks.

 

Thor quickly became lost in the jargon of the conversation and averted his attention to draining his pint. As he did he noticed Stefan watching him, a sceptical look on his face. Once Thor returned the gaze he quickly averted his eyes to Loki. Thor frowned before getting to his feet and heading to the bar to get another drink.

 

Thor’s frown remained on his face as he headed inside. He snuck a glance towards the table where Loki and the others sat. Loki appeared to be in an intense discussion with Eva who was taking notes down in her tablet. Across from the two Mark seemed bored, yet compliant and Stefan stared intently at Loki. The tall lean Swede stood up and rounded the table to lean over the two to point out something on Eva’s screen. As he did Loki tilted his head and Thor watched as an affectionate smile swept across Loki’s features, and was mirrored in Stefan’s when their eyes met. Thor frowned as he felt a slow burn of jealousy in the pit of his stomach before he turned on his heel.

 

Thor trudged towards the bar, stopping at a large glass and metal case in attempt to distract himself from the interaction he had witnessed. He stared at the contraption noting that held many of the large black circular discs that Loki had in his dwelling. He remembered seeing such a device in the bar he went to with Selvig in New Mexico. He experimentally hit a couple of buttons, as he read what he presumed to be music titles and he mused upon the name of the contraption.

 

Thor gave a sigh and walked over to lean against the bar, still frowning deep in thought as he waited for the tattooed bartender to pour him another pint of cider.

 

“I think you need to insert some coinage in you want to give some of that vinyl a spin.”

 

Thor turned his head sharply to the left to see Natasha leaning against the jukebox, clad in black and her brown leather jacket.

 

His face brightened.

 

“And hello stranger.” She greeted Thor, with a smile.

 

“Lady Natasha.”

 

Thor gave her a nod of the head and forced a reciprocated smile before Natasha turned back to the puzzled looking bartender as he placed the pint in front of Thor before peering expectantly at Natasha.

 

“What can I get you?”

 

Natasha pursed her lips.

 

“A Hm, it’s past mid-day so Negroni if you would please.”

 

The bartender gave a small laughed and nodded.

 

“Won’t be a long.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Natasha turned back to face Thor, before sliding into a seat at the bar.

 

“So, where’s our prince of darkness?” she asked, peering at Thor intently.

 

“In a room through the hallway, along with Eva, Stefan and Mark.” He said gesturing to where he emerged.

 

She turned her head in the direction and nodded before returning her gaze to Thor who was already downing his pint.

 

“So, I’m guessing that I don’t need to ask how things went with him? I mean no demolished buildings…” Natasha trailed off watching as Thor quickly averted his eyes to peer into the amber liquid.

 

“It went well.” He said softly, a smile spreading across his lips.

 

“I’m glad… but what was that frown about then?” Natasha probed.

 

Thor’s face fell.

 

“You know of Loki’s friends, do you not?”

 

“That I do Thor, That I do.” Natasha replied.

 

He paused momentarily.

 

“I am uncertain of Stefan. He seems to not to trust me. I have caught him at times looking at me with anger and suspicion. I also notice that he and Loki are… close.”

 

Natasha regarded the Asgardian carefully, before her thoughts were interrupted by the short glass tumbler being placed in front of her on a napkin.

 

“Ah, thank you!” She exclaimed, reaching into her pocket to retrieve pound notes to hand over to the bartender.

 

“Keep the change.”

 

The man’s eyes widened, as he took the money to the register.

 

Natasha took a sip of her cocktail. Sighing as she placed it down on the bar.

 

“Thor, from what I understand, being in a band is quite… intimate. They tend to live in one another’s pockets. From what I understand Stefan and Loki are close. Loki trusts him, and owes him a lot.” She admitted

 

Thor gave a grunt of acknowledgement in approval, staring into his drink.

 

“Plus… they probably have heard… stories of you. They are protective of him. You should value that. Give them time.” She said, peering intently at Thor, who begrudgingly tilted his head to look at her, giving her a quick and bashful nod.

 

“You are right, I… I am merely protective of him myself. ” Thor mused, staring into the glass pint glass before raising it to his lips for a long swig.

 

A companionable silence fell upon them to the background noise of soft murmuring of the pub’s few patrons.

 

Thor cleared his throat.

 

“I looked more carefully at the file you gave me.”

 

“Good!” Natasha said, flashing a smile.

 

“Do you have any questions for me?”

 

“Not in particular, although you mentioned that it would be required of me to travel to New York to meet the other members of the… Initiative.”

 

“Ah yes. Before that happens you’ll be required to meet with Agent Farquharson at the Shield quarters here in London. I had a meeting with him this morning and he wants to speak with you in person. Agent Reid will be picking you up at 9.15 tomorrow morning and will escort you to a 9.30 appointment.”

 

Thor nodded, mulling over the information.

 

“That is well.” He said in reply before taking a hefty swig of his pint.

 

He placed it back down upon the counter with a small thump and frowned.

 

“Although… Natasha before I make any commitments to travel to New York I feel that I must return to Asgard. No word has been sent for me, but I want to ensure that things are running smoothly in my absence.”

 

Natasha sipped on her drink before replying.

 

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Best you inform Agent Farquharson of your plans though.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Natasha paused with her glass mid-way to her lips.

 

“Have you told Loki of your intentions?”

 

Thor’s face dropped.

 

“No, I haven’t”

 

“Thor, you should.”

 

Thor sighed.

 

“I know. I feel as though things between us are somewhat clear, I fear that they are not entirely stable. You know how emotionally volatile he can be…”

 

Natasha cleared her throat and straightened in her chair slightly.

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but speak of the devil…” She said quietly cocking her head to the right slightly.

 

Thor turned in his chair to see Loki strutting across the room to the bar where they sat, a small smile upon his lips.

 

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Natasha said dryly.

 

He rolled his eyes before bending down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

 

“I saw that you were occupied.” He said smoothly, eye darting sideways to Thor.

 

“Sure.”

 

Thor stood up, offering his stool to Loki.

 

“I’ll let you both talk.”

 

Loki caught Thor’s eyes as he stepped sideways, holding them briefly.

 

“Thank you.” He said softly.

 

Thor dipped his head, picking up his pint and walking away from the bar.  He considered going back to where Mark, Stefan and Eva were, but jealousy still stirred within him. Instead he paced over to the other end of the pub that fronted onto the street. He leant at a window and watched the Midgardians that walked along the footpaths, rode in buses and drove cars. He wondered who they were, what they did and where they were going.

 

All too soon, the glass that he raised to his lips was far too light, and far too empty. He wandered back to the bar, careful to stay away from Loki and Natasha, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation. As he watched the bartender pour his cider he lets his gaze sideways and saw Natasha placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. Loki’s eyes skimmed across Thor’s gaze, and he straightened his back where he sat before settling back on Natasha’s face. Thor quickly averted his eyes back to the bar where his drink sat ready for him.

 

“Thor.” Called Natasha, causing him to turn back.

 

The redhead was on her feet a few feet away, whilst Loki hung behind her, leaning against the bar swallowing the last dregs of his drink.

 

Thor turned and walked towards her.

 

“I’m afraid I’m off. So remember 9.15 tomorrow.”

 

“Of course.” Thor responded.

 

“I guess next time I see you will be in New York. I won’t be directly in contact, but Agent Farquharson will fill you in on the details.”

 

“Thank you.” Thor said with a nod of his head, before taking her hand and kissing her knuckles.

 

Thor raised his eyebrows as Natasha expelled a small laugh.

 

“I’m never going to get used to that.” She murmured more to herself, before turning on her heel to face Loki, who had remained blank and unsettling quiet through the encounter.

 

He took a few steps forwards before gently grasping her forearms and kissing her cheek. The two of them pulled back to lock gazes strongly.

 

“I’ll be in touch when I can.”

 

Loki nodded in return, and sighed as they parted.

 

* * *

 

The mood was far sombre, punctuated with silence as they walked back to Loki’s apartment.

 

Their farewell to Loki’s band mates and manager had been pleasant enough, but Thor could not help but feel disgruntled, and he knew that Loki sensed his ill-feelings.

Loki wordlessly unlocked his door with the flick of his hand and strode into the kitchen. Thor followed him and leant in the doorway, watching him as he poured himself a glass of water from a jug in the fridge.

 

Loki looked at Thor, his agitation apparent.

 

“What is it, Thor?” He snapped softly.

 

“You say you want to help me, I ask you to come with me, and you’ve been acting like a disgruntled child.”

 

Thor grumbled and folded his arms across his chest.

 

“Loki...”

 

“What’s turned you into looking like you spent the whole afternoon drinking sour wine?” He uttered viperously.

 

Thor frowned at Loki’s words. And paused, restraining his own tongue, waiting to see if he would again attack. When Loki remained silent he spoke.

 

 “Your friends, they do not trust me.”

 

“Of course they don’t. Not after what I’ve told them of you and our past.”

 

“Must I always be demonised in your mind?”

 

“Is that how you interpret how I think?” Loki scoffed.

 

“Well thank you indeed! Give them some credit, since we’ve gone from wanting to kill one another to fucking.”

 

Thor threw his fist against the doorframe.

 

“Is that all this is to you?”

 

Loki closed his eyes and exhaled loudly.

 

“Thor, you know that’s not true. Why can’t you accept that everyone cannot immediately love you.”

 

Thor clenched his fists before releasing them with a huff. The two remained silent before Thor begrudgingly raised his head to peer at Loki.

 

“Stefan spent the entire time glowering at me when he was not staring at you with adoration.”

 

Loki’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth broke into a wide mischievous smile.

 

“Oh Thor, jealousy is unbecoming of you.” He uttered in drolly as he minced past him.

 

Thor huffed and followed him out of the room.

 

“I saw how he looked at you!”

 

Loki sighed.

 

“And?”

 

Loki’s amusement snapped into annoyance, a sharp frown gracing his features.

 

“What do you want to know? Do I care about him, yes. Deeply, and it is reciprocated. Do I love him yes, but platonically.” Loki growled exasperatedly Thor, brushing past him.

 

“Have you lain with him?”

 

Loki stopped in his tracks, but did not turn to face the blonde.

 

“Would it ease your mind if I lied?”

 

“No, Loki.”

 

Loki turned to face him.

 

“I did. Several times at the start of our friendship, out of comfort.”

 

Loki’s face hardened as he saw disappointment and fall upon Thor’s tense face.

 

“Oh Hel Thor!” Loki yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation, causing his magic to ricochet throughout the room, sending several items toppling over. In the kitchen the glass that he previously held shattered.

 

“I just wanted to know!” Thor exclaimed defensively, trying to reign in his anger, now regretting his words as he saw the fire light in Loki’s eyes.

 

“Even though some may claim that I choose to lay like one, you know I am no blushing maiden, and neither are _you_. When we met we were both very lonely and volatile and we found solace with each other. There is love in our relationship, but no romance. What we had has been ended.” Loki spat stalking as he spoke.

 

When Thor didn’t respond Loki laughed before he continued on his tirade.

 

“What, did you think that I would _save_ myself for you? Hel Thor, I didn’t know I would ever see you again! For all I knew when I set eyes upon you in that crowd you may have wanted to slit my throat - And don’t you dare accuse me of being a whore!”

 

Anger flashed in Thor’s eyes.

 

“I said NOTHING of the sort Loki! ”

 

“You didn’t have to your face says it all.” He hissed.

 

Loki stalked to Thor and jabbed a finger into his chest as he spoke lowly, stabbing like a metronome to his words.

 

“Don’t you _dare_ condemn my actions or my sexuality. Do you know the number of times I sat through your and your misogynistic friends speaking of their sexual conquests? Rubbing it in my face? If you call me a whore you’re no better than one yourself.”

 

Thor stood mouth agape and crest-fallen as he felt a cold burning feeling in his chest as Loki withdrew his hand.

 

Eyes wild, he peered up slightly to Thor’s downcast ones before turning on his heel.

 

“Loki…  I am sorry. I admit to jealousy.”

 

The raven-head paused at the foot of the stairs at his new lovers words, and Thor continued:

 

“I only want you for myself. I can’t lose you.” Thor said, brokenly.

 

After a pregnant silence Loki turned, hand trailing on the banister and faced Thor.

 

“I know, Thor.” He murmured. His anger dissipated from his voice, but anger still flickered in his green gaze.

 

“But you must understand but I am in no way perfect.”

 

Thor felt his eyes become heavy with wetness.

 

“Loki…”

 

“I’m not Thor, and I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to have all of me.”

 

The blonde took several steps to where Loki stood and hesitantly took a pale hand in his roughened ones.

 

“I am selfish Loki, I want all of you.”

 

Loki laughed bitterly.

 

“I don’t think you will want all of me.” He said bitterly, slipping his hand from Thor’s before ascending the stairs.

 

As he reached the top he looked down to where Thor remained.

 

“You forget that I am a monster.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Hiddlesworth cameo!
> 
> (Hi all, I'm back.)


	17. Chapter 17

**Empty Souls – Chapter Seventeen**

* * * 

 

Thor sighed as he roughly combed his fingers through his hair, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

 

He quietly walked out of the bathroom, and carefully pushed open the door to the bedroom and peered in. Loki lay on his side, facing away from the door. The sheets were wrapped around his body.

 

Thor entered the room and glanced at the clock that sat on Loki’s dresser.

 

9.10 am.

 

Thor rounded the bed and sat on the edge, finding himself staring at Loki’s awake gaze. One of his arms was folded underneath a pillow, the other lay on the mattress by his side. The latter flexed, but then recoiled as Thor sat by his side. Thor stared ahead, out the glass windows.

 

He sighed.

 

“I will be escorted to the SHEILD headquarters shortly.”

 

“I know,” murmured Loki.

 

Thor felt a shift in weight on the bed.

 

Loki pushed himself up to sit on the bed and wrapped his arms about his knees.

 

Thor regarded him as he adjusted himself, before peering again at him, watching how Loki brushed wayward strands of sleep-crumpled hair away from his face.

 

“They will ask questions about me, and about us.” Loki said moodily, avoiding his gaze.

 

“I too, am anticipating this.” Thor replied.

 

Loki’s eyes narrowed.

 

“Then what will you say?” he probed.

 

Thor stared at him steadily as he thought. Loki fidgeted under the weight of his gaze, eventually lifting his chin and meeting Thor’s eyes in annoyance.

 

“Well?” He snapped irritatedly. 

 

“Loki, what can I say? What would you like me to say?”

 

Loki pursed his lips, and Thor watched as anger flashed across his eyes.

 

“I will tell them the truth. What is the likelihood that Natasha already divulged our interactions to them?”

 

Loki sighed as one of his hands went to his forehead.

 

“Thor, I don’t know. I… I don’t even know what is happening between the two of us, let alone SHEILD!” he spoke, exasperatedly.

 

“Loki-“

  
“My bet is that she has informed them.”

 

“Loki!” Thor asserted, and leant forward, tugging his hand away from where it rubbed at his temples. He gently tilted Loki’s face upward, entreating him to raise his downcast eyes.

 

“Loki, do you trust me?”

 

A short burst of laughter erupt from the other man.

 

“What do you think Thor?” He uttered sarcastically.

 

“…Of course I do.” He concluded quietly, as his gaze levelled with Thor’s.

 

Thor ran a thumb along Loki’s cheek.

 

“I will not say anything that will endanger you.” Thor said sincerely.

 

Loki’s eyelids dropped as a small mischievous smile crept across his face.

 

“Indeed.”

 

Thor frowned, Loki’s smile infecting his own features.

 

“What is so amusing?”

 

Loki hummed as one of his hands twisted in the sheets.

 

“Oh, I daresay that Agent Farquharson will be more concerned with endangering himself with your little visit… Although he will be relieved that you will be _unarmed_ …”

 

Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise at Loki’s words.

 

“Although, he is quite a dour and effable man. Yet last time we met he did not take too kindly to me.” He murmured, ignoring Thor’s curious expression.

 

Loki’s amused gaze flicked to the window

 

“I believe that your escort has arrived.”

 

Thor continued to look at Loki momentarily, bemusement faltering, before he got to his feet and took a few paces to the window. He peered out to see a black Renault sedan parked at the curb.

 

“So it is.”

 

Thor turned back to where Loki remained seated on the bed, part of his amusement sliding, giving way to naked apprehension. Thor walked back and leant down to run a hand down Loki’s cheek.

 

“I will see you soon.” He said softly, before he lent forward to pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He drew back hesitantly, before straightening himself and leaving the room.

 

“Thor!”

 

As the blonde reached the front door, he halted as he heard Loki’s voice travel down the staircase. He turned around abruptly and frowned before making to head back up the stairs. Suddenly he was tugged by the back of his jacket and pushed against the front door. With a whirl of white satin and midnight he found lips pushed firmly against his own. Thor’s hands found their way onto Loki’s lower back as Loki’s tongue teased at his lips. He gave a groan as Loki bit playfully at his lower lip and withdrew.

 

“Loki…” Thor mumbled, as lips left his and long fingers caressed purposefully across his clothed chest.

 

Loki gazed at him wickedly.

 

“Hmm, Thor if you’re going to give me a farewell kiss, do it properly.”

 

Before Thor had a chance to rebut, Loki disappeared with a shudder of his sedir.

 

 

* * *

  
  
Thor’s mind felt hazy during the car-ride. His thoughts lingered on the feel of the weight of Loki’s body against his body, and the quirk of his lips as he watched raindrops caress down the car windows. He snapped out of his reverie as the car pulled to the curb next to an unassuming office block. Thor hesitated as the driver stopped the engine, and the man in the passenger seat, Agent Reid, unbuckled his belt and opened his door, stepping out of the vehicle. Thor paused before undoing his own belt as the man opened the rear passenger door.

 

“If you would follow me.” Reid said curtly, gesturing towards the building, before closing the car door with a click.

 

Thor nodded in response and trailed behind the agent, eyes surveying his surroundings as he was brought through automatic glass doors into the foyer, then down a corridor and into an elevator. The man scanned a security pass and hit B3 causing the elevator to descend, before the doors slid open again.

 

“Please follow me.” The man directed, stepping out of the elevator before walking down a brightly lit corridor before scanning his pass yet again at heavy looking door.

 

“Through here please, and down to the next door, thank you.” He instructed, gesturing for Thor to enter a stairwell.

 

As he did Agent Reid followed him before once more scanning his card and opening the door, bidding Thor through. As he entered the joining corridor he was greeted by a short woman with light brown hair slicked back form her face and knotted neatly at the top of her head. She wore a sharp navy jacket suit and was flanked by four men, also dressed smartly - but armed. Thor’s eyes flicked across the five of them and relaxed his posture to appear open.

 

“Ah, Madeleine, nice to see you and your greeting party.” Agent Reid said somewhat amusedly, stepping next to Thor.

 

The woman’s brows narrowed at Reid’s words, before her gaze flicked back to Thor.

 

“It is only customary.” She bit back darkly before adding:

 

“Farquharson’s orders.”

 

“I had guessed.” Reid said snarkily.

 

The woman cleared her throat before making eye-contact with Thor and stepping forward, extending her hand, which Thor took, shaking in greeting.

 

“The Mighty Thor, my name is _Agent_ Madeleine Austin.” She said introducing herself, sending a sidelong glare to Reid.

 

“I’ll be taking you though to meet with Agent Farquharson.” She informed before nodding to two of the men by her side.

 

“If you could both follow me.” She said before turning on her heel and walking down the corridor flanked by two men, while the other two trailed behind Thor and Agent Reid.

 

Thor followed her, glancing at the rooms adjoining from the corridor which were separated by glass doors. In one, there were several people seated at desks working at computers. As Thor walked past they raised their heads from their screens to peer somewhat wearily at the Asgardian.

 

“We have heard quite a lot about you, Thor - quite a reputation. Needless to say we are glad that you’ve decided to meet with us.” Agent Austin called, over her shoulder.

 

Thor cleared his throat before responding.

 

“I see.”

 

“Agent Farquharson is head of SHEILD operations here in the UK. He is in contact with Agent Coulson who you had previous contact with in the States. Eventually Agent Farquharson will get you in contact with our American counterparts, unless they _happen_ to grace us with their presence” She continued.

 

They rounded a corner and Thor glanced into another glass-walled room where an individual sat in front of a large group of projected images and collage of video footage, waving his arm, causing the digital footage to be shuffled from where it was projected.

 

At last, Agent Austin came to a halt at the end of the hallway and opened a door on the right hand side. The frosted glass doors slid open to reveal a tall thin man seated at a long desk. He glanced up as the doors receded, and got to his feet as he saw who is was who walked through the threshold.

 

“Ah, Agent Austin. I trust that you safely brought in our Asgardian visitor.” The man said dourly, his eyes shifting to look at Thor, who seemed somewhat uncomfortable and out of place.

 

Reid cleared his throat, causing the man to raise his eyebrows.

 

“Oh yes, and Agent Reid, of course. Thank you for safely _delivering_ our visitor.” He added in his clipped Scottish accent, as he rounded from his desk to move towards the entourage.

 

He came to stand in front of Thor and outstretched his right hand in greeting.

 

“Thor, my name is Agent Alexander Farquharson. I am very pleased to meet you.”

 

Thor returned the gesture grasping the man’s hand with his own.

 

“And I to you.” He replied, smiling somewhat stiffly.

 

“Right.” Farquharson said with a sigh, his attention returning to the other agents and security personnel, who remained at attention expectantly.

 

“Please leave us folks.”

 

The woman frowned.

 

“Sir, with due respect-”

 

“Austin, with due respect, I have faith in the goodwill of our visitor. Leave us, it is an order.” Farquharson rebutted smoothly.

 

Madeleine’s lips pursed in a straight line and she nodded reluctantly, and turned on her heel and exited the room, followed by Reid and the armed men.

 

Agent Farquharson exhaled as the doors slid shut, before returning his gaze to Thor.

 

“Please, take a seat.” He said gesturing towards a chair that was positioned in front of the desk.

 

Thor nodded and seated himself, as the man walked to a cabinet in the corner of the room.

 

“Can I get you a drink?” He queried, opening the cabinet to retrieve two glasses, placing them on top of it next to a glass jug of water.

 

“Certainly.” Thor replied.

 

The man turned, a slight quip to his lips.

 

“Water? Or perhaps you’d like something more potent? I have a stash of single malt whiskey, but I usually save that for bad days.”

 

Thor gave a small, but genuine small at the man’s attempt to make him comfortable.

 

He cleared his throat.

 

“Water will be fine, thank you.”

 

“Righto, perhaps later on?” He said, carrying over the two glasses of water, placing one in front of himself, and the other in front of Thor at the opposite side of the desk.

 

“I do apologise for the somewhat frosty reception. It is regulation, but you Asgardians tend to have a reputation here on Earth.”

 

Thor warily nodded in response.

 

“So I have been told.”

 

“Natasha has informed me that you have been quite forthcoming in the prospect in the Avengers Initiative, is this correct.”

 

“It is, she was quite convincing.” Thor replied.

 

“She has also informed me that you are currently residing with your former kinsman, Loki.”

 

“That is correct.”

 

The man quietly drummed his fingers on the desk.

 

“Loki remains to be of great interest to us, and continues to be under heavy surveillance. This is especially due to his new persona under his musical career, and particularly now with your presence.”

 

Farquharson continued:

 

“Although I am pleased that there appears to be no ill-will between you both, particularly after what happen back in New Mexico.” He mused.

 

“If I may be frank with you Thor: Loki remains a security risk. If you are to enter this programme, your actions will be monitored closely, and you must inform us of the nature of your relationship with Loki, and of any changes in his… intentions as he continues to reside here. We are also required to know of the nature why you have chosen to visit Earth – for last time it was by accident, was it not?”

 

Thor’s jaw tightened at the man’s words.

 

“Agent Farquharson-”

 

“You may call me Alexander.”

 

“Very well, Alex.”

 

Thor reached out and took the glass, taking a sip from it and placing it back on the desk. He clasped his hands in his lap and looked directly at the man.

 

“The last time I was her was during my imposed exile. As for now, I chose to come to Earth in search of Loki. Until recently I believed him to have perished when he fell from the Bifrost.” Thor halted.

 

“Ah, yes the _Bifrost_ , Loki has told us about this portal.” Alex encouraged, before urging him to continue.

 

“He came to me whilst I was sleeping. He did not mean to reveal himself, but I caught him. His appearance led me to information which revealed his past and motivations for his actions which took place last time I was on Mid- …on Earth.”

 

Thor paused and averted his eyes, suddenly feeling the cold weight of Loki’s key against his breast.

 

“I learnt from Asgard’s gatekeeper that Loki was dwelling here. With the Bifrost rebuilt, I decided to travel here to seek him out. At first he was hostile towards me.”

 

“And now?” Alex intercepted.

 

“We are on good terms.”

 

Alex sat back in his chair.

 

“I have been informed that it may be perhaps more than good.”

 

Thor frowned slightly, regarding the man’s body language.

 

“More than good?” He questioned.

 

“Passionate?”

 

The Asgardian’s frown deepened.

 

“You want to know if we are intimate?”

 

“Yes, it would be useful if we are informed whether you relationship is sexual in nature.”

 

Thor’s jaw tightened.

 

“I do not see how that is any of your business.”

 

“If you are working for us, it is.”

 

Thor eased back in the chair and averted his gaze and an uneasy silence settling upon them.

 

Eventually Alex spoke again.

 

“So it is confirmed then.”

 

Thor’s eyes snapped back to the man.

 

“You know the nature of our relationship.” He muttered, somewhat unimpressed with the banter.

 

“Sexual and partially inclined to volatility.”

 

Thor’s hand gripped on the chair’s arm, causing the metal to bend with a groan.

 

Farquharson took a sip of his water before he continued to probe, unfazed:

 

“What do you perceive of Loki’s life here?”

 

“He seems content in what he does.” The blonde uttered.

 

“Does he still exhibit signs of being volatile?”

 

Thor frowned.

 

“No.” He answered begrudgingly.

 

“Hmmm” the man hummed in response before his questioning took a turn.

 

“Thor, please outline to me your reasons for wanting to be a part of the Avengers initiative. Why do you desire to be involved in the safekeeping and protection of Earth?”

 

Part of Thor’s tension fell away.

 

“Earth is under my protection.” He replied, perplexed.

 

“It is only right that I would be involved.”

 

Alex nodded, a small smile gracing his lips.

 

“Good.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urrrrr sorry for being MIA. Had some personal issues.   
> You know how I said I was going to do a mixtape for this fic? Well I'm going to post it with the next chapter. Thanks for those of you who are still reading this. x

**Author's Note:**

> Time - I’ve made up my own sense of time for this story, although I feel that it is not crucial to it’s understanding. What I have written as one Asgardian year equivocates to a many more Earth years, but I have not settled on any particular difference, I thought I would leave this up to the reader’s discretion and imagination.
> 
> The title – The title of this story is from the song Empty Souls by Manic Street Preachers from their 2004 album Lifeblood.
> 
> This is a work in progress.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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